Matt Lichtenwalner

Mobile mapper for TomTom - roaming the US and Canada constantly. Maybe a bit of art and/or writing here and there to spice things up.

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Okay, this is perhaps me being a little grumpy, but here's the thing: physics is a real thing.

When you are trying to get somewhere - especially a small somewhere like an elevator or the entryway to a restaurant - and you encounter an *ahem* non-petite individual like myself? Let us out before you try to squeeze your narrow ass in.

I've encountered this my entire life, and I find it absolutely maddening.

On more than one occasion, it has taken everything I had to not loudly proclaim "If you would let my fat ass out instead of cramming your way in, there will be more room for you inside!"

It seems SO obvious to me.

(For the record - yes, I realize people are caught up in their own worlds / issues and they clearly aren't thinking about the physical spaces around them. They're 'focused on something else'. I don't care. This makes me... angry. And you don't want non-petite people angry, I promise.)

We have exactly this problem everywhere we go. Solidarity.
I find this so unsettlingly rude when people do this! I have had my child on my front in a front pack - further increasing my size - and had people try to squeeze in past us as we unloaded. Her Majesty, in particular, was a kicker. She would swing out and thunk anyone who got close with those sparkly little size 2's.

Not my proudest moment, but it was privately a little satisfying.

I have to confess - that brought me some serious joy just picturing it.
I'm trying to avoid writing The Longest Possible Angry Rant about this topic.
When Ted and I go through doors and other narrow, crowded spaces, I tend to say, a little bit too loudly, "Ted, you have to let other people go out before you can go in," in the hopes that people will get the hint and get out of the way. ted will just barrel on through and plow right over people. And, people get in his way and expect him to stop for them, because, you know, big guy. he doesn't know how big he is.

When the world finally ends, the inciting incident will be a misunderstanding in the vestibule of a Wawa during morning rush hour.
Oh, I do love me some quality passive aggressiveness when used for the forces of Good!
Houser has no empathy for this rant, of course.
None whatsoever, I’m sure.