Jill "xtingu" Knapp

Traveling musician. Singer. Road warrior in bursts. Dork. Easy to spot. Gauche eyeshadow fan. Unreasonably happy.

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The thing I teach is this thing called "ITIL" which is basically a set of books that give you ideas on how to make your IT department suck less.  When I teach what's known as an "ITIL Foundation" class, I'm basically giving a 3-day lecture on the highlights of these books (kinda like a live-action Cliffs Notes), and then I proctor the official Certification Exam that "proves" that people remember the highlights and major plot points of these books. 

When these books first came out in 1989-ish, they were a set of 31 books. They were revised in 1999 and they shrunk down to 8 books (though they added a 9th one later) -- that was called "ITIL v2," and then in 2007 it became 5 books ("ITIL V3"). In 2011, they did a teeny little update to the five ITIL V3 books and there was confusion in the industry as to whether it was still called "ITIL V3" or if it was called "ITIL 2011" or just plain ol' "ITIL." But it stayed five books.

A new version just sorta came out in beta, and only instructors have access to this draft version (called "ITIL 4"). Instructors have to be certified in it before we're allowed to teach it, obviously.  The new version won't be officially released until February-ish, and the new ITIL 4 Foundation exams will go live around then.

I'm heading down to Washington DC today because the ITIL Mothership is holding a  Train the Trainer Class on Thursday and Friday... and then Friday afternoon I'll also take the Foundation Exam.  This new version is soooooooooo fundamentally different than any of its predecessors that I am worried I'm gonna fail this exam on Friday... and boy howdy won't that be embarrassing. 

I know when ITIL V2 moved to ITIL V3 in 2007, I was convinced I'd never ever be comfy or fluent in the V3 material... and hey, look at me, I'm considered a fancy-pants subject matter expert and I haven't had an in-person student flunk the exam on my watch since 2009, and people buy access to my online instructional videos and send me fan-mail thanking me for helping them nail the exam. So maybe I'm not as dumb as I think. 

But this new version... man. I read it, and it means nothing to me... and I channel Matt Lichtenwalner ​​​​​​'s friend Don and kinda giggle because all I see are "worrrrrrrrds..."  O_o


In other news, a few weeks ago I had two root canals and one of them turned to the dark side and got infected (yum) so my face blew up and it hurt... so I jumped on 10 days of antibiotics. Those ended on November 5th.

On Monday of this week they had to do more dental work, and now the *other* root-canaled tooth has turned to the dark side. So I'll be on yet another stupid round of antibiotics starting in an hour or so. Sick of this, you guys.  (I swear I brush and floss! I even have a Sonicare and a WaterPik that I use religiously!)  And my dentist is awesome... so I don't know why my teef rebel like this. It hurts, and I look like an idiot with my face all lopsided yet again.  (Perfect for meeting new people!)

It's supposed to be a wintry mix of blecch from DC to NYC for the next few days, and the hotel I'm staying in is about 1/2 mile from the Sofitel hotel where the training is at. (As much as I wanted to stay at the Sofitel, I couldn't justify $800/night. So it'll be $400/night instead at the Hampton Inn... ouch.) I'm not looking forward to walking 1/2 mile in the icy snow to/from class, but I also know that 1/2 mile is just not far enough to justify calling an Uber/Lyft.  So I will comfort and warm my heart by flipping the bird at The White House as I walk directly past it on the walk to/from class each day. 

I am looking forward to meeting my friend Dan for dinner tonight since he lives in DC. He's been my pal since Kindergarten, and he's fucking awesome. We were in punk band in high school together and he is one of those "touchstone" people in my life. Stoked to see him. 

This will be my first work-trip (or any trip, really) in forever where Matt isn't coming with me. I haz a sad. But honestly, I'm gonna be studying each night, so I wouldn't be that much fun to hang around anyway.


In other news, this Saturday night we are playing in a big-ol' tribute to The Who, and I am pretty excited about it.  Good lordy, the song "Slip Kid" is so much fun to play. Plus I'm getting to play trumpet on "5:15," "Drowned," and "The Real Me," and it's a blast.  I can't remember if I've ever performed on The Grand Opera House stage before... it's a 1200-seat theater. I feel like I would have remembered that. *shrug*

Ok, time to get out of bed. (I've been up since 8, but I just like being in bed.)

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I can't imagine that it's possible that you haven't performed at the Grande. Maybe at the Baby Grande? Dunno.

Anywho - sounds like you're pretty slammed over the next couple of days, but I will be working in DC (or nearby) both days (weather permitting) so ping me if you want to grab coffee.
I gather you’ll have little time, but if you do, pop into the Renwick? (right around the corner from the White House) Also, Air Canada has a pop up Poutine restaurant in DC this season. Also also, Thursday evening Local 16 DC bar has a Broadway singalong. Pop pop pop.
Ursula Sadiq 1dedited
I’m stressed out for you, just reading this. I have a feeling that once you figure out the pattern, you’ll triumph.
 

The last two years haven't been as travel-intense as prior years, which is great for my laziness and introversion, and crappy for my love of flying and desire to hoard frequent flyer miles. 

Right now we're on a plane to Denver, where I will have to accept that it really is fall and approaching winter; it's been easy to forget that in Delaware.  

We'll be in Denver until Friday, and my days will be packed with teaching a new client, and my nights will be spent recovering.

I first got my travelly job in 2007 and I told myself how exciting it would be to get to see all of these great cities... but the reality is that I know what the airport and the hotel of that city looks like. I can count on one hand the number of times I ventured out after work to explore the city I was in... but most of the time I'm just too exhausted. When I teach, I'm essentially delivering a 7-to-8-hour monologue, and when the day is done I just want to go back to my hotel room, order room service, and be in bed by 8. Not very exciting, I know. 

When I travel to a city where friends of mine live, I don't even bother telling them I'll be there, because I know I won't have enough gas in the ol' tank to hang out. Sad. Lame. All that. 

Tomorrow is the mid-term election day, and Matt and I submitted our absentee ballots a week or two ago, so we're all set there.  I'm kinda curious how the Pennsylvania districts will vote now that they re-drew so many districts because they were gerrymandered for so long. 

I have so much work to do between now and November 17th-- I'm kinda overwhelmed.  I need to learn a ton of music for this tribute to The Who that we're doing on 11/17 (but I have to have the music learned by the 11th so I don't sound like an ass at rehearsal-- I'm singing, percussioning, and playing trumpet); plus I have to read and fully grok a 215-page book for work by 11/14 because I'm headed to DC on the 14th to attend a Train the Trainer class on the 15th and 16th and I'll be taking the exam for it on the 16th, and I MUST pass it. I have to be able to write courseware for it and teach a class based on it by the end of the year, and I can't teach it if I'm not certified in it.  It'll all get done somehow, but right now it just feels impossible. 

OK, gonna make use of this flight time and start working on chipping away at some of this stuff.

In other news, I hate being cold. Denver in November is no place to try to be warm.

Ok bye.

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Safe travels and good health, love.
Sending warm thoughts to fend off the impending frostbite.
what album(s)/song(s) are you doing for the Who thing?
CM Adams 11/7
 

My face is on fire. 

I could type out the whole story here, but I just had to cancel birthday and Dead Milkmen concert plans with Jenn and Jack for tonight... and it's just easier if I copy and paste what I typed to her, because I am the laziest fuck ever... but hey, I have an owie excuse.

Cut/Paste:

=======================

And now, the bad news: We have to bail tonight. I had two root canals on Tuesday and one got infected (sexy!), and yesterday morning I woke up in agony and my face looked like Rocky Dennis from Mask. Flew to the dentist at 8am, and he prescribed mega-doses of steroids and antibiotics to get the swelling down... but we had a gig last night that I should have canceled but didn't, and I overdid it because I'm an asshole, and my face and skull are friggin' on fire today... plus, I leave for a work-trip tomorrow. 

I'm so sorry and sad to not be with you guys today. We were REALLY looking forward to it... but I really feel like I should err on the safe side. 

=========================

(Additional thought: Plus, the high doses of steroids means I have hella reduced immunity right now, and being in a giant sweaty  Milkmen crowd is probably a bad idea... but I'm honestly not really thinking about that.)

Good god. I would love to be able to attend one goddamn event with my fucking friends without SOMETHING happening... anxiety attack, rotting infected tooth-skull, Mom emergency, etc.  I feel like a selfish jerk for feeling this way, though.

Humans are complicated.


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Christ! Take care of yourself. Sorry you had to miss big plans. That is super shitty pain and swelling after an already painful procedure.
Karen 10/27
You do look a bit lumpy. Take care of yourself and get better real quick!
oh man! I hope you're feeling better. :(
 

We were all set to leave for NJ yesterday so we could accompany my folks for mom's 4th attempt at knee-meniscus-repair surgery which was scheduled for this morning. 

She called me yesterday before we got on the road to say that they canceled it yet again... this time because her pre-op testing showed her blood-sugar has been too high, so her endocrinologist wouldn't clear her. 

She is really really bummed. 

I asked what the next steps forward towards rescheduling are, and she said, "I've gotta get my blood sugar under better control, I guess."  I asked her how she should do this-- is it as "simple" as an insulin adjustment?  She said in a defeated tone, "I guess I need to eat better." 

Strange that a diabetic shouldn't be subsisting on dollar-store frozen pizzas, Ritz crackers, pasta, and insulin.  *facepalm*

Anyway, I was happy (?) to hear that her endocrinologist said "Come down today from 3-4pm and meet with our nutritionist, and we'll work with you to get your blood-sugar down. We want you to have this surgery." So she's going there today.  I asked her to ask the nutritionist for meal ideas that are easy and quick because she can't stand up long enough to cook a healthy meal, which is why she eats what's easy. Is there a mail-order meal service that they recommend? I know there are meal services like Blue Apron and Sun Basket, but those require you to prepare the meal yourself, which probably requires some amount of standing.  I also don't think she'd spend that kind of money on herself, but that's a different story... and one Matt and I might be able to solve since her birthday is coming up. Maybe a few months of a meal service would be a nice gift. Or maybe that would be awful and would make her feel judged somehow... I don't know. 

I just wanna help. 

Anyway, we're heading up in an hour or so, and we'll be there until Friday. We've got a real busy weekend coming up with 2 gigs on Friday night and Saturday afternoon, and family stuff on Sunday.



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There are definitely meal delivery services where you don't have to prep stuff, just heat it! That's a great idea. I forget, where do your folks live?

You could check out:

https://www.cleaneatsmealprep.com/

They seem to cover a wide area. If you wield your favorite search engine and ask for "meal delivery service [state or city or general location]", you should find more stuff. When we lived in California and I was having babies, the local meal delivery services were lifesavers!!

They're NOT generally cheap, but you'll find a range of prices both between providers and within various meals/meal plans.
How did I miss these replies? Annie, thank you so, so much! We're OK with not cheap, as long as she eats it!
In addition to delivery services, I have an idea. I'll text you.
That was super-helpful, beb-- thank you!
Any time!
Healthy Root didn't work for me, because the price per calorie ratio was not what I needed. But, it doesn't require much cooking. You pretty much just dump everything in a pan and heat it up. It's vegan, so I don't know how that works with a diet where you're trying to lower your blood sugar.

Blue Apron was a lot of chopping. Hate to shop, but love to chop? Blue Apron!

My guess is that the nutritionist has met plenty of people who need help controlling their diabetes who have trouble standing up for long periods of time.
We ultimately decided to go with NutriSystem. Her endocrinologist told us it's approved by the American Diabetes Hernka-fernka BlahBlah, and it's basically like Lean Cuisine TV dinners. That's the level of effort she's willing to make, so we helped her pick out the meals that're gonna be delivered to her house. Let's hope she eats them...
Interesting. You hyphenated Hernka-fernka. I think I prefer that.
I hope they taste good. Wonder if I can get my parents on those. Maybe I can print out a good description from americandiabeteshernka-fernka.edu.
 

Last night we played a show in Kennett Square, opening for an impro comedy troupe.  We played a 25 minute set, and then sat in the back of the theater to watch their improv show. They invited us on stage to participate in the final improv game of the night and I protested because I'd never done any improv whatsoever... and it turns out I did kinda OK given my total lack of skill. That was kinda fun to try. Matt did great because he's freakin' effortless at everything-- I don't know how he does it. 

Today (Friday) I put my phone in Airplane Mode and stayed offline pretty much all day in what we call a NEDNOP day (NEDNOP stands for "no electronic devices, no other people"). We spent some time at a little spa down the street to finally get the last of the playa dust out of our pores.  (After we got home from Burning Man my skin was so dry and angry that I desperately wanted a facial, and I also wanted a massage because my muscles hurt from building shit and pounding the playa for a week. So today we finally took care of that.)

Matt and I got massages and facials (his first facial!), and I also got a body treatment where they dry brush you and slather you with shea butter and then wrap you in warm towels and plastic and stick you under the heat lamp like a piece of Roy Rogers NJ Turnpike rest stop chicken.  The facial and the body treatment were maybe a 7 out of 10 (perfectly delightful) and the massage was an 8.5 or even a 9. She was amazing.  

Matt and I went to get a bite right afterwards, and then hit the hardware store for some stuff for the house, and then he started feeling anxious so we came home and crawled into bed around 6PM-ish... and we fell asleep... and then I woke up around 2AM, which is why I'm typing this at 6;19am. 

While I've been writing this, I've been listening to "Who's Next" on headphones. Good lord, what a masterpiece. Roger Daltrey is a MACHINE. Pete Townshend's voice is so smooth... and John Entwistle's bass playing is so melodic and he plays it like a lead instrument. And my friend Rob summed up Keith Moon's playing perfectly, like "someone kicked Keith and his drumset down a flight of stairs and he landed on 1."  What a band. Man oh man.

OK. I'm finally getting sleepy, so I'm gonna end this. 

Xo

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NEDNOP is kind of an amazing idea. I'm not sure how we'd survive, though. Read a book? Conversation? Walks? Huh. Maybe?
Do it. You won't regret it.
Just pretend it's 1991, and you'll be fine. :-)
I'm not shocked that either of you would be good at improv. I think the 80/20 of improv is being 'quick'. Assessing, processing, and being able to respond quickly. We all know that there are different kinds of intelligence, but you both have that in spades. Glad to hear you tried it!

I'd like to say that I'm due for a NEDNOP day, but I think most days look pretty much like NEDNOP to most folks. I have so little real interaction with anyone. Problem with that is that it moves the bar. Now, on those days where I talk to one person, I'm all "Whoooaah! That took it out of me." #GoodProblemsToHave?
I'm kinda with you re: real interaction with people. We don't have much, honestly. We play gigs, but that's not real interaction-- it's very one-sided. We also eat at Angel's a few times per week and chit-chat with the staff and the regulars, and call that enough interaction. We also see people at rehearsal but we've got a job to do there and always go right home afterwards.

Kinda bums me out that I don't hang out with anyone really, but then again I'm also totally OK with it. Deep down (OK, not very deep down) I'm a very lazy person who just wants to lay in bed all day, so I get to live that dream most days.

This makes no sense.
It makes _perfect_ sense.

Hello bed.
NEDNOP is something koozbanians should have said. NEDNOP!
I really wish I could put my parents up in a swanky hotel with a spa and restaurant for a long weekend, and then take over their house for a long weekend of All The Space I Need. I would hire Bobbi to teach a master class in improv, so we could all benefit from all the listening and "yes and" and stuff.
That sounds like a damn fine weekend for all involved.
Hell, just wait until your parents go away on one of their vacations and we'll do it then!

Or... we'll do it at Anne's house. VERMONT ROADTRIP!

(You are also welcome to do it here anytime. If our great room can handle 7-person Beatlefest Core Band + 8-person string ensemble rehearsals, we could do an improv workshop. Wouldn't be nearly as roomy as your folks' place, but it's something.)
I can't remember whose line it was about the Who being "a singer plus three guys all of whom think they're playing lead" but it's nowhere more evident than on Who's Next and Quadrophenia.

Moon in particular on Quadrophenia is fucking supernatural. if you haven't fired it up on headphones before, allow me to recommend.
CM Adams 10/16
I think I'm gonna make Quadrophenia on headphones happen tonight. I need me more Keith Moon!
there's some awesome Moon segments in the Kids Are Alright film, btw. he was one crazy ass motherfucker.
CM Adams 10/17
 

It's 5:30am and I just woke up with a case of BRAIN BEES. (Thank you to Sean and Dawn for this term, though I'm sorry y'all had to coin it.)  In trying to get back to sleep and failing (it's now 6:53) I'm trying to think of more pleasant topics than my aging parents and Hurricane Michael and Kavanaugh and that article in the New Yorker whose last 3 paragraphs killed me and kids spraypainting swastikas on an historic Black schoolhouse and climate change report and Trump and Columbus Day and how I do not want to go to the dentist today for fear of what awfulness they will find and how much it will cost to fix. 

So let's think of something fun, shall we?

Many people have a playful, silly list of famous people with whom they would be allowed to [redacted for Adult Themes] without consequence to their current relationship. 

For example, I have negiotated a deal with my partners (past and present) which states that if I ever met either Jack Black, Nathan Fillion, or Questlove, and if they were interested in a one-night [redacted] with me, that I would be allowed to use my It's Not Cheating Pass and enjoy my one-time [redacted] guilt-free and consequence-free. 

I have now added Monica Lewinsky to my list. Lordy, I love her style. 

Who's on your list? 

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Oh, dude, I’m in a constant state of fighting Brain Bees lately. More on that story in a bit.
I might not have time to participate in this discussion as fully as I want to right now, because Vince is making dinner. But, on the subject of Brain Bees: DHOOOODD. I wholeheartedly empathize. Revising the Freebie List is a great way to cope. I haven't tried that yet, but I will. Here are the ways in which I cope with Brain Bees:

Vividly imagining walking up a spiral staircase, trying to get every single detail as clear as possible. This one is for lightweight Brain Bee swarm levels.

Translating songs I know by heart into Spanish. A favorite is "Kyle's Mom is A Bitch" from South Park. I don't know if it should he "Has encuentra la mama de mi amigo Kyle, es la bruja mas grande en todo el mundo," or "es la perra mas grande en todo el mundo." That's usually where I get stuck. It doesn't scan.

Translating "Stewart" by the Dead Milkmen into Shakespearean iambic pentameter. This one is tough, so I usually save it for emergencies, like when I'm really sick. If I'm having physical and mental discomfort, I have to whip Stewart out like a Leatherman Charge+TTI. "Know you this, Stewart, well do I love thee. Amongst all the villagers, thee I prize."

Finding inventive ways to produce overdone musicals. For example:

Annie: in the post-apocalypse.

Les Miserables: Kabuki, in the days around the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown: in a maximum security prison.

Oklahoma: during the Depression.

Sweeney Todd: elementary school playground. I'm not too thrilled about this one. My plan was that when someone is murdered, they are tagged "out" and have to sit on the bench in the corner. I don't think that's a resonant enough choice.

All-drag Guys and Dolls. This one is my favorite. I think the Broadway production should star Lea DeLaria as Nathan Detroit, k.d. lang as Sky Masterson, John Cameron Mitchell as Miss Adelaide, and Neil Patrick Harris as Sarah Brown.

I believe that freebie lists should be revised annually. That doesn't mean that it has to change (you could say "2018's list is the same as 2017's"), but you can add and remove people. However, I think there could be a rule that if you add someone, you have to remove someone.
This list is helpful and amusing. I recall you doing the 'Stuartspeare' and I told Rodney about it and he almost ejected a lung. He's dying to hear any of it if you wanted to share it.

And when I read your phrase "Freebie List" I thought it said "Frisbee List" and was temporarily amused/confused. I need reading glasses and I am fighting it.

"Brain Bees" really is the most perfect turn of phrase for a thing ever. It sucks that we all know it so well.
Did he really?

Shit, I'm going to have to follow through. I'm not sure how I'll deal with "the ride called The Mixer." For what it's worth, there's a shitty bar up this way called Curran's, that often has a live musical act called Sir Rod. I'm positive it's a Rod Stewart tribute act, but I get so tempted to call and ask them if it's a Rodney Anonymous tribute act, and complain when they say no.
Allright Harris-Friel, I need yer list.

My favorite thing you once said about someone you admired involved them having just washed their hair with Strawberry Herbal Essences shampoo. (I remember who your famous person was, but I didn't wanna announce it here case you didn't wanna share it. But I would love to bury my face in Monica Lewinsky's barely-damp hair... and that shampoo would be amaaaaazeballs.)
I wish I could remember who that was!

A guy I fooled around with in high school had broken up with some girl who used Suave strawberry shampoo. I switched to it, not knowing this, and it freaked him out so badly that he refused to be near me until I washed my hair with a different shampoo. I learned two things from this experience.
1) Kids are cruel (actually I knew that already)
2) Strawberry shampoo is a huge happy times trigger for people of a certain generation.

And now: Freebie List 2018, in no particular order

1) Benedict Cumberbatch (although he's skinny enough that I'm afraid I'd kill him if I even hugged him)

2) David Tennant (see above)

3) Ewan McGregor (an evergreen candidate)

4) Adam Driver (but only in certain lighting conditions. sometimes he just looks like a greasy arrogant dork and sometimes he looks like a tall Clara Bow)

5) Adam Scott (see 1 and 2)

6) Colin Firth

7) Jameela Jamil (I just want to brush her hair. Really.)

8) Evan Rachel Wood (see 2, 3 and 5. She's so teeny!)

9) Liev Schreiber, but there's something wrong with him and I can't put my finger on it, so he might get bumped

10) The guy who plays Oleg on The Americans. (Google) Costa Ronin.
AND ESPECIALLY Jarvis Cocker.
Oh dear god I love you to pieces right now for your Brain Bees list. It's 2am, I've had insomnia for weeks, you had me at spiral staircase. Love love love.
Karen 10/12
Oh! Monica! [scribbles her name on the bottom of the list]

I will say, I've had to cross some folks off as it became clear what crappy people they really were... sigh.

But on the current list? Hmmm....

Jack Black (can't disagree with you on that one!)
Bradley Cooper
Jodie Foster
Dean Stockwell
Judi Dench
Rosalind Russell's ghost
Donald Glover

Those are the folks who come to mind first.
I love this entire list!

I would add Lady Gaga to my list, but I think I have more of an admiration crush on her, and would really just like to talk shop with her.
Just re-read your list. Judi Dench is so freakin' great. Wotta woman!
Oh I love Lady Gaga. But you know, I just saw her and Cooper in A Star is Born and I thought, "Oh, that would be so dorky to put them both on the list right now." Plus... bjeezus I admire the woman. On every level, in every way. I would absolutely want her to represent our species when the aliens come and are trying to decide whether to exterminate or merely enslave us.
I lost a bit of respect for Ms. Dench recently when she opined that Spacey was hard done by.
Waider 10/13
Oh maaaan, did she say that? Come on Judi, get with it...
Aw. I didn't know that.
Wow.

That article makes me think of a post for another time... something along the lines of: if you do awful things and then some lovely things, are you awful or lovely? (I wrestle with this a lot.)

Also, this is my navel, and I shall stare at it for a while.
I used to want to take a bubble bath with Kevin Spacey, but that ship has sailed.
Yeah. Same boat Johnny Depp is on.
Here's my Sorry, But Your Ship Has Sailed list:

Kevin Spacey
Johnny Depp
Von Hayes
Trey Parker
Harrison Ford

...and believe me, this isn't a "sorry I'm not sorry," this is a "dhhhooood. I am Sorry for the Loss of You."
Why Harrison Ford? What did I miss?
She probably doesn't want to deal with the complications of schtupping with a walker.
That, and, something about him leaving his wife for Calista Flockheart turns me off.
Yeah, I get that.
Sure, he can cheat on his wife with me in my mind, but leave her for Calista Flockheart in reality?
So, time machine jumping back before the breakup is still okay? Or does knowing it's going to happen still ruin it? (Talk about ovethinking).
AGEIST!!

Also: lulz
I think you'll find that this is creepier when the guys start responding.
But, come to think of it, while the principles are still alive I'd like to revisit Trading Places and see where 35 years has left the firm of Winthorpe and Valentine.
Set it in 2008.
That was a great cast! I just had to imdb it to remember everyone, but yep!
That never occurred to me that this could be creepy if guys chimed in. I promise not to think it's creepy, if that's at all helpful (and I don't know if it is, or if I'm just being horribly blind and icky... and if that's the case, I hope someone will tell me).

In the meantime, Matt's alllll about Rosario Dawson, and I'm totally OK with it. :)
So is this in as-is condition or are we talking about peak hotness? Gotta set the ground rules before I start up the melon with some 80 proof ol' thought lubricator.
"Gotta set the ground rules before I start up the melon with some 80 proof ol' thought lubricator." I love the way you write-- I snickered aloud when I read that.

Hmmm. I think the official rules are probably "the person as they are now," but rules are also made to be broken... so what the hell: list yer list regardless of era. Because I'd love an evening with a Citizen Kane era Orson Welles.
Well, all the people on my list, I am totally thinking, "as they are right now." Age has never put me off. When I saw Judi Dench in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel... I just MELTED. I've yet to see the sequel; I missed it in the theaters and now I'm kind of saving it up.

And Dean Stockwell? I can't even. I've loved him at every age, and the older and scragglier he gets, the louder my pulse beats. Watching Quantum Leap, everyone fawned over Scott Bakula, and I'm all like, "Dr. Beckett you need to stop talking so I can hear Al." And THEN, when he showed up in the remake of Battlestar Galactica??! Died and went to heaven.
Anne Mollo 10/11edited
isn't it interesting how people sort of grow into themselves?
You see, if we went exclusively with "as they are right now" I'd be delving into necrophilia. And, sorry, that's a hard NO.
Forget the dead bodies, dude! Go for the GHOSTS! Didn't you ever read any Anne Rice? (NOT the Vampire Series! Different kind of undead.)
Anne Rice is the single biggest reason we have a vampire problem in the western hemisphere today.

As far as doing the nasty with the passed-y, not going to happen. If I'm going to shoot my load into a sheet I'd prefer it to be cotton, not ectoplasm.
Hahahaha. You kill me.

I dunno, man. For Rosalind Russell, I might even deal with the ecto.

This little thread is awesome. :)
I'm the same with age. I much prefer old and doughy David Gilmour to 25 year old David Gilmour. And Billy Joel will always be on my list.
Okay, my list in two parts;
The first part is what I call American originals. Iconic beauty of the ages. Yes, I am a product of the era I grew up in so there's a lot of blondes with a full crowd in the balcony. Most of this list will require a time machine, because they've gone on ahead of us, turned into total train wrecks or both.

Full disclaimer: I am 100% hetero.

Mae West
Marilyn Monroe
Jayne Mansfield
Grace Kelly
Lana Turner
Kathernine Hepburn
Audrey Hepburn (Warning, small parts, FRAGILE)
Farrah Fawcett
Jenny McCarthy
Anna Nicole Smith
Pamela Anderson
Kelly Lebrock
Brittany Murphy

The second list is as they are now. And again, I'm a product of the era I grew up in.

Cindy Crawford
Kim Basinger
Meg Ryan
Christie Brinkley
Markie Post
Lacey Chabert (Warning, small parts, FRAGILE)
Joey Lauren Adams (Warning, small parts, FRAGILE)
Monica Bellucci
Christina Applegate
Elisabeth Shue
Courtney Cox
Aisha Tyler
Sandra Bullock
Lea Thompson
Jeri Ryan
Minnie Driver
Dina Meyer
Missi Pyle

Because, being single, every day is hall pass day. Never mind that I've got a better chance of seeing the Lord than for one of these celebrities picking me out of crowd to bump uglies with.

IHNJ, IJLS "Warning, small parts, FRAGILE."
"Full crowd in the balcony." Never heard that before, but I am giggling.
Not creepy at all, at least in our house. Paul’s list includes Drew Barrymore and Drew Barrymore.
Drew Barrymore is pretty wonderful.
1. emma thompson
2. emma thompson
3. emma thompson
CM Adams 10/11
excellent choices.
Indeeeeed!
In what order? Or does it matter?
I am so obsessed with this post that I had to write my own post about it.
I don't have such a list (and I'd have to think about it for a while to come up with entrants) but I'm intrigued by the occurrence and recurrence of Jack Black in this thread.

We /are/ talking about Nacho Libre, School of Rock, High Fidelity, Tenacious D Jack Black, and not some mystery hunka-hunka-burnin'-love beefcake of the same name, right?
Waider 10/12
Thank you for this. It made me laugh out loud.
My absolute pleasure. You and Jill are converting me to the church of Blackness.
Yep. Try to listen to "Fuck Her Gently" and not add him to your list in 6 seconds.
This thread is hella old, but I'm not kidding when I tell you I played this song for Roger and not halfway through it I caught him googling for the mp3 on Amazon. He is now fully converted to the D-side... entire album, in order, every road trip, (with air drums and air guitar).
Karen 10/25edited
Why yes, /that/ Jack Black. And now you have a little window into our souls.

He's funny, he's smart, he's multi-talented. What's not to drool over?
I guess the thing that has always bugged me about him is when he does the man-child bit. To be fair, he's not quite made a career out of it like, say, Will Ferrell, but I've always found that sort of acting grating.
Waider 10/13
Have to agree with not liking man-child gigs. I can't think of a Will Ferrell character that I've liked. I guess I just pass over Black's version of that, because he has such a broad range.
The best Jack Black performance might be in, hold on, Jumanji. Watching him chew up scenery playing a self-obsessed high school girl in a well-padded Jack Black body was worth every cent. Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson and Karen Gillan could not hold a candle to him. THAT, my friends is acting talent.

Going on the theory that making humans laugh is hard, but making them cry is easy, I'd love to see him in a pure dramatic role. He played it straight in the Jackson King Kong remake, but there's only so much an actor can do with the script he's given.
Have you seen Bernie?
No, but I just read the wiki page for the movie. I've got to watch that.
It's a brilliant movie.

And also "The Big Year" with him and Steve Martin is also great. While not a super-serious dramatic role like Lawrence Olivier or something, it's definitely lighthearted, but it's Jack being very different than his typical Jack.
Oooh, that one scene in particular where he does the thing, and then realizes what he's done. Ooooooh, good stuff.
Karen 10/25
Listen to Wonderboy by Tenacious D. I think I've only heard it once, yet I understand the panty-melting allure.
No, wait. Even better: https://youtu.be/bzl_l5gC5is

Chicks dig personality, commitment and talent.
Are we talking just a one night thing or more of a prolonged get-to-know-the-real-person deal, because I gotta be honest, the one night thing is not really the way my libido rolls so much. At least I don't think? Thirty years ago I might have been able to come up with a "top 5 pump & dump" but now I just do not think so.

Maybe if we reframe it to "who would you want to become really close friends (maybe with benefits) with" I could have some honest answers. But then again it's so hard because public personas so rarely match what people are really like at home getting underpants drunk after a bastard of a week. When you really want to curl up and soothe and make everyone feel really nice and loved.

Some thinking is required.
I think in this case, actually, perhaps LESS thinking is required... [chuckle]
Certainly no one has ever accused me of under-thinking something!
Here is a thought, re: the freebie list, hall pass, whatever you want to call it.

Fantasizing about celebrities gives us a template for knowing what we want.

When I was breaking up with She Who Must Not be Named (or putting plans in place to get out of that toxic relationship), my freebie list was an over-thought and cherished concept. It was the poster of Raquel Welch on a Mexican beach in Shawshank Redemption.

One time my therapist and I were riffing on the kind of person I wanted to be with next, and I said, someone like the lead singer of Everclear. I wasn't into him or the band, really, but I saw an interview with him that meant a lot to me.
a guy (so I could be the pretty girl in the relationship, a concept she used to torture me with)
had recovered from drug use, so he knew what recovery was like
has a lot of scars or tats or both so he knew what pain/endurance/recovery was like, and was okay with weird body image stuff (because I had terrible body image stuff)
had bleached/dyed hair or had ever bleached/dyed his hair so he knew what it was like to say "this body is mine and I can control it and change it" and also knew that hair dye is damaging
played at least one musical instrument so he knew what it was like to struggle with something difficult for its own sake
liked to dress up, but not all the time, and was man enough to wear a skirt, so he knows that dressing up takes work, but is about vulnerability and power and all kinds of stuff
most importantly, would check the blind spot in the car when I'm driving.

Now I'm with a terminally honest musician who has probably had every facial hair configuration and haircut that you can name, has endured painful surgeries, has worn cowboy, 60s garage rock and Victorian costumes in public, and always checks my blind spot.

also, I cannot name the lead singer of Everclear without Googling.

Art Alexakis, IIRC.
I love this explanation.

And I am so happy you have found Your Person. 💗
I’m seeing 71 replies to this post but not one reference to Idris Elba. Friends, I am disappoint.
Thus your own list was born.
Man-crushes on Idris Elba are common amongst my male peers, but he didn't make my lengthy and indiscriminate list because he has the wrong set of plumbing. And his initials are the same as the browser of my nightmares.
Idris Elba is not a person. He is a force of nature. He cannot be bottled up into a freebie, hall pass, or one night stand.
Gaaah! What the holy hell is wrong with me?! He is dreeeeeeaaaaaammmmyyy.
- Ben Goldacre
- Benedict Cumberbatch
- Martin Freeman
- Rupert Graves
- Hugh Bonneville
- Taye Diggs
- Hugh Laurie
- David Tennant
- Denis Lawson
- Jason Momoa

Apparently I prefer British. Dunno why.
Ahhhhh... Hugh Laurie, you beautiful, tormented man, who once played a beautiful, tormented man with a gravelly American accent. Yes, please, good sir.
Karen 10/25
 

For my second night of HARD WEEKEND PARTYING, for no particular reason on this here balmy Saturday night I decided to get my free annual credit report from the big three credit agencies.  WOOO!!!  Seriously though, it was painless and I highly recommend you do it if you haven't done it lately.  Doing this takes like 5 minutes, and while it doesn't give you your credit score, it does show you a list of your open and closed credit accounts according to the Big Three credit reporting agencies (TransUnion, Experian, and Equifax) so you can make sure there aren't any accounts opened in your name that you didn't authorize.  You can also see what companies have done a "soft credit check" on you so they can send you those annoying free "you've been pr-approved!" offers in the mail... these soft credit checks don't impact your credit score, but it's interesting to see who's been sniffing around.

So, to get your free annual credit reports from each of the big three go to AnnualCreditReport.com which sounds scammy, but it's the only site the government has approved).  It is totally free, painless, and a good idea.  (Some folks like to check all three agencies at once, once per year. Other folks like to pick one agency in January, another agency in May, and the final agency a few in Septemberish, just so you can keep a more constant eyeball throughout the year.  I'm not that vigilant, so doing all three at once was just ducky for me.)

Also: Fortune Magazine told me that as of September 21st, a new law went into effect that says that the big three credit reporting agencies must offer you the ability to freeze your credit for free.  Freezing your credit is a good idea, and it is painless.  A credit freeze simply means that nobody can apply for credit under your name while the freeze is in place... not even you.  So if/when you want to apply for a new credit card or get a loan or whatever, just jump back online and unfreeze your account, which takes two seconds.  So clicky on the Fortune Magazine linky at the top of this paragraph here, and it'll take you right to the Free Freeze pages for the Big Three.

Enjoy!



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Very good call on both counts. I'm overdue for the first and I think the second is something I definitely should do.
Oooh! Thank you!
I did a credit report on myself earlier this year but it was nowhere near as thorough.
I had to freeze my credit with all three agencies back before it was made free. (Hmmm.... I should get a refund!!) I had a sudden onset of never-ending identity theft, where it became clear that all of the info necessary to pretend to be me is out there in cyberspace, and I quickly grew weary of playing wack-a-mole. It was so awful.
Ugh, that sounds horribly awful. Once you froze it, did it fix it? Did you have to get a new SSN and everything?

I cannot understand how I haven't had my ID stolen yet. For a while there it seemed like I was getting a letter every two weeks from some company telling my how my data was stolen in their shitty breach.
I didn't get a new SSN; that seems like it would be truly a nightmare. And yes, once things were frozen, all that nonsense stopped. And having your credit frozen isn't a big deal, at least not at my age. I've already got my bank account, credit cards, mortgage, automobiles... all the stuff credit checks facilitate. And as you point out, you can always unfreeze/refreeze any time you need to.

And yeah! For a while it was one notification after another. "OOPS! WE SUCK!"
 

This is how I party on a Friday night!

.

.






PARTY!! YEAHHLH! WOOO!! FRIDAY NIGHT!! TETTS!!  OH MAH GAH!! 

 The math:

    Biore Pore Perfect Strips

+  B0rked Website Thing I Am Procrastinating About Fixing 

----------------------------

= Clean Pores.

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lol @ 'more tags than content'.
PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY ALL THE TIME
Honest question: do you feel the strips cause those little red veins to appear? Especially around the nose where they are used most? Or is it bunk? *eyes strips forlornly*
Karen 10/8
 

In the '90s, I bought the cheapest, crappiest bed I could afford on my temp-agency salary when I lived in Arizona, and slept on that god-awful bed for years.  

Finally in 2004 I was making "a nice wage" (as my brother would once write) and splurged on an expensive mattress/boxspring set for almost $800, which was hella spendy back then. I bought a Serta Perfect Sleeper Modesto, and it was deemed by many people to be The World's Most Comfy Bed. (I don't know how to type that without it making me sound like a slut. I'm just saying I was proud of my purchase because it was one of the only nice things I owned, so lots of people tried it.)

They say you should replace your mattress every seven years, though that may just be the mattress companies telling you that... but for the last 9 or so years or so it was pretty obvious that the non-Jill side of the bed was significantly lower and more broken/sunken in (read: broken) than my side of the bed. Matt's back has been bugging him now for a while, so we decided it was time to buy a new mattress.

I take after my mom-- I am not a shopper. I have noooo interest in going to 12 different places to find the best price and compare 47 different things; I just want to walk in, try a few items, and buy the one that I like that also offers the least amount of hassle. I don't care if this means I might pay $3.69 extra for something. I've got a life to lead. 

So yesterday we looked online to see what stores in the area sold Serta Perfect Sleepers in hopes of getting a mattress close to what I've got now (only not broken on one side). We decided to hit the Concord Mall on 202 where we could go to Sears and Boscovs in one shot, and then head over to Raymour and Flanagan if those didn't pan out. 

On our way to the mall we passed Raymour and Flanagan, so we said "screw it" and went there first. (50,000 points for Matt's fast reflexes and driving skills.)  We walked in and were greeted by a lovely saleslady who showed us a bunch of mattresses. She was a good salesperson with just the right amount of personable gab, but also knew when to leave us alone. She'd clearly been to Mattress Selling School, asking questions about how we sleep, if we have back problems, what we like/don't like, telling us all about the best type of mattress for hinky spinal injuries, and I'm not gonna lie... we settled on the most expensive one we tried. She didn't even try to force us into it; it was just the most comfortable. We are thrifty in most other aspects of our life, so why not splurge on a thing where we spend 70% of our time? (We spend a LOT of time lounging in bed; waaaaaay more than your average human). (Another way I take after my mother.)

This bed is like a cloud, and it apparently will help keep Hot Flash Jill cool during sweaty nights. I'm skeptical, but hopeful... because right now I have a stack of towels next to the bed that I rotate in and out throughout the night. (In fact, that's why I started writing this blog entry at 6-something AM... the bed was soaked and it woke me up. Sexy.)

They have next day delivery, so it should be coming today. (actually, the delivery guy just called and said he'll be here between 10-1. Woot!)  They'll take away the old mattress and box-spring and set up the new bed, plus there's a 100-night no-questions-asked return period. I liked that there were no hidden or extra charges... the price is the price and you don't have to pay for delivery or setup or taking away the old mattress, yadda yadda. 

We opted for a split box-spring hoping we might move to NYC someday where narrow stairwells would make getting a queen-sized boxspring into an apartment potentially tricky. It felt nice to be thinking ahead. 

I feel like I'm saying goodbye to a friend that got me through some really important years of my life... but it also feels nice to be buying a thing with Matt as a couple. We don't really have anything like that, really; we just have my stuff and his stuff all co-mingled, but nothing that is *ours.*  It only took us seven years to make this leap. :-)


NYC

In other news, we went to NYC this past week to see Steven Page's new trio at the Highline Ballroom on Tuesday night. We were supposed to go with Jeff and Mindy, but they were busy so we went with Brian Marshall and Tom Moynahan.  Steve was funny, smart, sounded great, and did a great mix of old and new stuff.  Matt and I grabbed a hotel (yay, Hilton points!) and slept in the Financial District, right at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge in Manhattan, an area of the city we'd never stayed in before, and it felt like it could be home.  We saw an apartment building we loved, and a two-bedroom is only $7500/month sooooooo we won't be moving into that particular building anytime soon I guess. :). But it did have a great Australian breakfast/lunch place nearby called "Hole In The Wall" which was deeeelicious, and I had my very first flat-white, which is a coffee-drink originated in either Australia or New Zealand (they argue over it)... it's like a latte except the milk isn't frothy at all (it's flat; get it?). I'd wanted to try one forever, and it lived up to the hype. 

Anyhoo, it's 7:55am and I woke up in a puddle of sweat about 45 minutes ago, so I'm ready to go back to sleep. I'm turning my ringer on nice and loud so I can hear the bed delivery guy's call. (He called! They'll deliver between 10 and 1.)

It's hard to believe this is the last morning I'll be sleeping/snoozing on this bed. 

Thank you, bed. You've been the best bed. 

--

PS: The weather has been absolutely GLORIOUS the last few days, hasn't it? Man, this season (aka 'the Fifth Season') is by far my favorite season. 75 degree days, low humidity, slightly foggy mornings, starry nights, sleeping with the windows open... so good!

PPS: I watched the clips from this weekend's SNL premiere and I howled! I thought they really nailed it. Apparently I like Adam Driver. I did not know this before, even despite my Kylo Renning.  (Kanye though... what the hell was that?)


x-posted to dreamwidth.org

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You kids just jumping into buying newfangled doodads.

My mattress is 17 years old, and I'm in the same boat. It's brokeity broke ass broke. I need to get on the stick and buy a new one.
You will be a happy guy when you do.

I will tell you that Raymour and Flanagan had a thing where the price of the mattress included everything-- new boxspring, setup, taking the old mattress/boxspring, etc.

We missed the (very reasonable and totally understandable) fine print that said that they will not take your mattress/boxspring away if they inspect it and find anything that could vaguely look like a bug ever walked on it, because they don't want a potentially buggy mattress to be on the same truck as new mattresses. I dig this. Good god, if I got bedbugs or fleas or anything because of some other person's ancient mattress touching my new mattress, I'd kill someone.

Alas, our boxspring had some cobwebs on it (hard to believe that a boxspring would have cobwebs after being in a house for 11 years, but hey) so they wouldn't take it away. No stress-- our trash company will take them for free (I just called)... but right now I worry that our house looks like "that house" with the mattress outside.

It's hidden, thankfully... but yeah.
Ooo. New beeeeeeeeeeeedd. May you sleep the sleep of the ages.

Nuthin' like a new mattress, even better when you can afford to get the most comfy.

We found a mattress company out in CA when we lived there. Love their mattresses so damned much, we ordered a new one and had it shipped to VT when the old one started to wear out. LOYAL we are.
Oooooh! What kind of mattress? I love knowing about products people are super-loyal to.

Tonight shall be glorious. :)
(I'm sitting on it right now, desperately fighting the urge to climb inside since I have rehearsal tonight and need to be working on music right now...)
It's this company: https://sleepworks.com/

"European Sleep Works" sounds fancy shmancy, and I guess they kind of are, but not in a ... fancy shmancy kind of way. It's really the engineering that impresses me. You can even customize the two sides of the bed, for whatever level of softness/firmness you like, and also the "box spring" isn't really a box spring; it's this nifty adjustable slat system with little sliders, so you can make sure the bed gives a little more at your shoulder, for instance, if you're a side sleeper. (And it's a split system, so if one of you is a side sleeper and one is a tummy sleeper, you can adjust independently.)

Oh, and they're local. They source a lot of their components from Europe (hence the name, I guess), but they build the mattresses right around the corner from where we used to live. So basically you order a bed and they build it for you.

But really, their beds just FEEL SO GOOD to me. Which is whatcha want, after all.
Oooooooooooh, this sounds absolutely *decadent.*
Oh! And the mattress covers unzip, so you can actually open them up and see everything inside, the coils and the latex and the wool and whatever. Which makes my brain gurgle with rainbow colors.
And yeah, they're a million dollars and thirty two cents and we'll probably never be able to afford another one, but wow it's fun while it's lasting.
We've got a ~$300 foam mattress with an egg crate pad and feather bed on top and somehow the combination is just about perfect. Though it's been a long stretch of years of tweaking and juggling things to make it so. I mean it's a whole story of making do and making do until making do actually worked. I have so many stories about beds. None of them really awesome. But at least now when we can't sleep, it's not physical discomfort but BRAIN BEES.
When my mom was alive, I'd visit and sleep with her in her big king bed. I have no idea what the mattress was, but the egg crate pad she put on top? I always slept So Soundly. What is it with that stuff! It doesn't LOOK like it should be so comfortable.
My dad absolutely swears by his egg crate bed, and he will not consider sleeping on anything else. When you find what works, you go with it!

Tell me more about this feather bed on top. Does it make you sweat? My new bed has a magical pillow top, but there is always room for Moar Fluffiness.

And hoooo-boy, I am allll too familiar with BRAIN BEES. I've never heard it described with that term, but that is the most perfect description ever. Thank you for giving me words for this thing.
Ikea Canada seems to no longer sell the featherbed we have. It's similar in function to the pillow top of your new bed. A featherbed wants to be aired out and rotated more regularly than one rotates a mattress. Weekly or as frequently as you change the fitted sheet is good.
Ah! Thank you! This is very helpful.

I've seen them advertised over the years, but never actually knew how to use one, as goofy as that may sound.
One more question-- does it go under your fitted sheet, or do you sleep directly on it?
We don't find the feather bed unduly sweat inducing; it is neither cooling nor warming. Just... [ poof ] comforting. Some kind of magic.

Anyway, our stack is

Fitted sheet
Waterproof mattress pad (cat insurance)
Feather bed
Egg crate foam
Mattress itself
Heh. I have almost this exact same setup, also from having to make do. And it do make do, very nicely.
Karen 10/8edited
Winnie-the-Pooh could knock on his head and the bees would shoot out his mouth. Yet another reason having a head full of fluff would be, many times over, superior to meat.
Girls is a kind of annoying show in most respects (and only gets less interesting as the seasons go on) but it is, in my opinion, well worth watching for how freakin' HILARIOUS Adam Driver is in it.

CM Adams 10/11
 

It's 1:39am on September 22 East Coast time. Forgive my unmade face, undone hair, and overexcited NJ accent... but I just invented what's basically a 3-D salty/sweet cronchy version of Fun Dip. This is what inventors look like.

I am not proud of this. I am SO proud of this. It is gross and delicious and I am also not proud. But proud. But not proud. Yep.

I was originally gonna lock with post so only my OPW people could see this, which is why I didn't care that I recorded this video au naturale, sans makeup et sans le coiff, et plus de drooooop. But I also don't give a shit. This is whatcha look like at 47 and eating marshmallow fluff snax. 

Enjoy. 

​​​



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You are so cute. My favorite part is the sounds when eating off the spoon. Perfection. Props to the cameraman, as well!
Karen 9/22
Thanky! I haven't been this excited in a while. :)
The best part: you don't have to get greasy hands from touching the popcorn!
Exactly! I hate greasy/sticky hands. This definitely addresses that. Plus sweet/salty! Crunchy/squishy! It's a treat of treats!
Jebus, I adore you. This is not news, merely a reminder.
Nnndaaaaaw. :)
I can't stop watching this.

Oh! and I'm totally with you about the popcorn snobbery! This is what I pop corn in:
https://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/vintage-50s-dominion-popcorn-popper-mint-in?platform=hootsuite
Oh my lordy! Look how amazing that is! Look at the box! I wanna display that box! I bet that makes deeeeeelicious popcorn. I am drooling!
Srsly, popcorn on the stove or GFTO. It's what's for lunch on Saturdays.

Though if you use corn oil instead of canola (we use canola because CANADA, FUCK YEAH), then isn't that like seething popcorn in its mother's milk?
Microwave popcorn is an abomination.

I use peanut oil because it's what was on the shelf in the pantry. I would use whatever we had because I'm not picky enough to have a preference. As long as I'm not cooking it in olive oil, I'll consider it a win.

There's an indie movie theater in Wilmington that makes their popcorn with coconut oil and it is SO GOOD. It has this barely-perceptible hint of beach that I really liked. I would try that, but I don't seem to be one of those people who buy jars and jars of coconut oil and use it for everything.
I avoid peanuts, peanut butter, peanut oil, etc., when I can because I developed a weird sensitivity to peanuts after Elliot was born. (I'd eat a PB&J sandwich and get an itch along my ribcage an hour later. A friend said, "Oh, that's what my kiddo does when he has wheat, and it turns out he's got a wheat allergy." -lightbulb-) I think it's backed off, but allergies are weird and can go from zero to anaphylactic shock without warning, so I don't like to tempt fate. I miss peanuts, though!
Do you do other nuts/nut butters? Would almond butter satisfy the urge without causing a reaction? I don't blame you for avoiding it all out of caution.

Matt would be heartbroken to say goodbye to peanuts, but I don't think I'd mind either way. I'm kinda meh.
I apologize, but I just _cannot_ read that first sentence without snickering. I'm 12.
Hhuhhhhuhhhuhuh....
I'm kind of "meh" about other nut butters, and they tend to be spendy, anyway. I do usually keep almonds on hand, though, for nibbles, and they don't seem to cause a problem. (Peanuts aren't actually nuts, botanically, so a peanut issue shouldn't sort of automatically mean there's a tree nut issue as well.)
I tend to use mostly canola with a dollop of coconut oil. Even the refined stuff that doesn't taste coconutty gives the popped corn a nicer.... niceness.
I'm gonna try that. Nom!
I also giggled over "CANADA, FUCK YEAH."
I fucking love this video.
I made it hoping you would like it. :)
Can we also talk about popcorn and Junior Mints? Because if that's not a thing for you, maybe it should be. Ticks many of the same boxes as popcorn fluff pops, but ADDS chocolate AND peppermint. See? See?
I NEED THIS IN MY MOUF!
Pop Dip? I'm a kettle corn aficionado, so I get the sweet/salty appeal. Now can we talk about the Cracker Jack/Fiddle Faddle/Crunch n' Munch desperate lack of peanut equity?
I love Cracker Jack and will always prefer that not-too-thick-with-sugar style. I also love the molasses-tastic peanuts at the bottom of the box/bag.

Crunch and Munch, and to a slightly lesser extent Fiddle Faddle, while both tasty, are a bit too crunchy and sugary for my sad teefs.

I like that Cracker Jack still tastes like popcorn. Mmmmmm...
OM NOM NOM!!!! it's kinda like a rice krispy treat, but with popcorn instead of puffed rice! i would go for that so hard...
Jenn A 9/23
Dooood, it's really reeeeeeeally good.
So, I was wondering what, exactly, is IN Fluff. In the process of finding out I stumbled upon this, because Internet.

"Marshmallow creme is also a traditional confection in Arabic cuisine, where it is commonly referred to as soapwort meringue (natef).[8] The original recipe is based on soapwort (roots of Saponaria officinalis)[9] or roots of the marshmallow plant, but modern commercial varieties are nearly identical to marshmallow creme. It was mentioned in a tenth-century Arabic cookbook, Kitab al-Ṭabīḫ (the book of dishes) by Ibn Sayyar al-Warraq."

Your snack has LEGS. Think about it! The melding of ancient Arabic and Indigenous Peoples of the Americas culture!
Agreed. Of course, now I'm also picturing a marshmallow tree (I know it's a plant, but go with me on this) which is exactly as you're picturing it. Like we could pluck marshmallows as if it was an apple tree.
Marshmallow treat, marshmallow tree. So close.
OK, that's pretty great!
Thanks!
I love this! I sat for a very long time trying to think up a new Siverstein-esque text to go with this awesome picture... and failed. "So the little boy took the marshmallows and sold them to the Keebler Elves so they could make Krispie treats. And the tree was sticky." Yeah no.
Awww! Yeah. There's a reason why Shel Silverstein was so awesome. :)
<<The melding of ancient Arabic and Indigenous Peoples of the Americas culture!>>

That's um, totally what I was thinking when I invented the snack! Yeah! Yeah!

(Nope. I just like cramming food in my face.)
Can we name it Popshmallow Pop?
Marsh Corn.
I love how many disparate and delightful conversations this has spawned. Well done, chica.
Totally planned that. Yep. Allllll myyyyyy doingggg. :)
I love watching you get excited about the little things.
xoxo
Yes. This. A lot.
Dude. If you ate this, you would see it's actually a huuuuuge thing! Small thing, huge flavah. It's so damn good. OH GOD I'm gonna go make some right now.
Sounds like you just came up with the marketing slogan.