Thomas Boutell

Just some guy who made a thing.

  • Followed
  • Follows you

Edit biography

  • Three roma tomatoes
  • Two carrots, peeled
  • Two green onion stalks
  • Two stalks of celery
  • 6 small mushrooms of varying kinds
  • 6 ounces tomato paste
  • Goodly shake of MatoZest
  • Goodly shake of italian seasoning 
  • 1/2 tablespoon nutritional yeast

Chop everything. Chuck everything in a vitamix or good blender. Add enough water to get the blender to cooperate. Blend until it looks right — no huge bits but still texture, mostly from the carrots.

Simmer and serve over zucchini noodles.

The carrots lend it a meat sauce texture.

3/9 '20 7 Comments
I read the first two lines of your post and my brain instinticly sang FIIIIIIIVE GOLDEN RINGSSSSS!

Sure, your recipe doesn't scan, but my brain don't care nope nosiree
Four pounds of back bacon, three French toasts, two turtlenecks, and a beer!
I-in a tree.
Five gollldenn toooooques!
(Ba-dum-bum-bum!) is forever in my head in Miss Piggy's voice.
Mine too. This year during the holidays, Vince was singing "Five. GOLDEN! Rings." in the voice of Mario Cantone doing an impression of Bette Davis. I can almost side-step that ear worm.
Happy to see you didn't add nutria. (Which honestly was my first thought when I saw the title.)
Ursula Sadiq 3/10 '20
  • 2 cups white flour
  • ½ cup whole wheat flour
  • ½ teaspoon baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ⅔ can coconut milk
  • Italian seasoning to taste
  • ¼ cup coarsely chopped walnuts (I just crush a handful of pre-shelled walnuts in my fist as I’m dropping them in)
  • Enough almond milk

Mix the dry ingredients. Add the coconut milk, then enough almond milk to get to a slightly sticky but rollable consistency. Roll out with a rolling pin, not too thin, keep it maybe half an inch even. If there's leftover dough, you can roll it out again who am I kidding you ate it.

Use a small glass as a biscuit cutter, who has biscuit cutters?

Bake for 12 minutes at 350. Awesome as-is or with your spreadable fat of choice.

This recipe happens to be vegan. I would have put in an egg if I'd had one. Glad I didn't, I think they are perfect as-is.

They are on the salty side, but these are biscuits. Biscuits are not health food. They are snowy-day warm belly food.

1/7 '17 2 Comments
Sounds delicious!
Sounds yummy to me too!

My current no-knead recipe, boiled down to even less effort than the official New York Times version, which includes some unnecessary steps on baking day IMHO:

3 1/2 cups white flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup rolled oats
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt (*)
1/2 teaspoon active dry bread yeast (I use Red Star from the supermarket)
2 cups water, and a splash more

Mix the dry ingredients. Add the water. With a fork just combine it well; don't knead; this takes less than a minute. It should be a little too wet to knead.

Cover the bowl and allow to sit for 18-24 hours.

Shove an empty pyrex casserole pan (or similar) in the oven, with the lid on, and preheat to 450 degrees.

Remove pan carefully. Toss a little corn meal in the bottom. Take the dough out of the pan; it'll be sticky but manageable. Fold it over on itself (*). Drop it in the pan.

Shove your sticky hands back in your oven mitts and stick the pan in the oven for 30 minutes with the lid on.

Remove the lid and bake another 15 minutes. (**)

Remove and allow to cool a few minutes before devouring.

I was a latecomer to the no-knead party but I think I've got this down.

(*) Salt is a leavening agent and does add a little air to the bread which is nice when there's whole wheat in there. This was a key improvement for me.

(**) This step is optional. The results are a little prettier, but it does take a whole second, and I did say this was zero-effort bread.

(***) If you bake it in an uncovered loaf pan, you'll get a very hard crust. You can cover a loaf pan with aluminum foil if you haven't got a nice pyrex with a lid. The latter is worth finding because you get a very pretty peasant loaf.

12/19 '16 17 Comments
Photo? I'm having a hard time envisioning the shape of the final cooked loaf. A picture is worth a thousand words, dontcha know.*

Also, I love bread and you have inspired me to make some damn bread. BREAD!


Picture added.
Thomas Boutell 12/20 '16
Thanks! Imma make this bread tomorrow (which is to say: today. Yay!)
It is months later and I would just like to say that I rarely RARELY find myself funny, but that "SEE WHAT I DID THERE" made me laugh my ass off. BECAUSE BREAD! Get it? Bread? The "picture is worth 1000 words" guys? HOLY SHIT I'm HIIIIIILARIOUS.

I'll see myself out.
I am tempted to try to make that bread.
Soooo easy
Thomas Boutell 12/20 '16
YUUUUMMMM. Maybe we should have a bread baking party.
By "Pyrex casserole pan," do you mean one of the round ones? What size?
I mean a thing with a lid that can go in the oven. 4 quarts is a good size.
Mine is round, yes, but not hemispherical. I'm sure that yields cute results too.
LOL--yes. Cylindrical, but squat.
Attempting. With no wheat flour. And "old fashioned" oats. And going to have to improvise a baking dish. I'll let ya know.
Ursula Sadiq 2/11 '17
I have no idea how that will turn out without wheat but am curious to hear!
Thomas Boutell 2/11 '17
Ahhh, I thought you were literally using NO WHEAT flour, as in something gluten-free. White flour should be fine.
Thomas Boutell 2/12 '17
Aluminium foil over a regular loaf pan will do in a pinch.
Thomas Boutell 2/11 '17

I whipped up a Thai pizza tonight.


1 large pizza dough ball. (Walk into a pizzeria and ask for a "dough ball." They will sell you one for around $3. Offer void at major national chains.)

1 red bell pepper
1 large onion
4-5 leaves of broccoli rabe
Olive oil
1/8 cup coconut milk
1 clove garlic

Preheat oven to 550 degrees. Seriously. Don't mess around, this is pizza.

Meanwhile, sautee onions in 2 tablespoons olive oil and a little salt until starting to brown.

Coarsely chop bell pepper, broccoli rabe and garlic. Toss in food processor and add coconut milk. Process briefly; don't let it completely homogenize.

Roll out dough ball. Stretch out onto pizza pan dusted with cornmeal to prevent sticking. 

Pour contents of food processor onto dough and spread around well.

Top with the onions. Bake for around 14 minutes or until allllmost blackening at the edges. (If your oven can't get to 550 degrees you may need to bake a little longer.)

Don't drown the pizza. This is the most common mistake and the reason you have to go easy on the coconut milk.

"Hey, don't you add any spices to this?" I find it's quite flavorful as-is, but sure, knock yourself out.

5/5 '16 5 Comments
I would eat that.
Thai Pizza should be shaped like a ball with two hexagons on the sides. What you've got there is a Star Destroyer Pizza.
Brian Rapp 5/6 '16edited

This vegan pizza has caused fights at our house when a slice stolen. It's likely not as good as your pizza recipe but sometimes you need the convenience.
I didn't know dough was vegan. Cool!
I wonder if our pizzerias would sell balls of dough? I never thought to ask before...
Beth Adele 5/8 '16

This recipe is heavily inspired by the New York Times no-knead bread recipe and has snuggled intimately with various bagel recipes on the Internets.

Prep time: 10 minutes
Clock time: 18-24 hours
Yield: 8 bagels


3 cups white flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup oatmeal (plus more for dusting)
1/2 teaspoon instant dry bread yeast
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon sugar
3 tablespoons honey (optional; improves the crumb)
2 cups water, and just a smidge more
Corn meal, for dusting
Kosher salt and crushed anise seed (or other toppings, or none)


Day One

Mix the dry ingredients well in a large bowl. Add the water and mix, just enough to form a dough; do not knead. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap. let it sit overnight, ideally at room temperature. In winter I stash the bowl in front of a heat vent.

After at least 18 hours, wash your hands well and remove the dough, laying it on a surface sprinkled with oatmeal. Fold it over on itself a couple times; really, that's it. You don't have to knead it.

Wrap it up in the plastic wrap you just used for the bowl and let rest for 15 minutes.

Put down a cotton towel or napkin and sprinkle it with oatmeal. Then wrap the towel around the dough.

Day Two

Let the dough rise for 2 hours. Around the 1:45 mark, start preheating the oven to 450 degrees, and boil water in a large pot. Add the honey to the water and stir it in well. The honey greatly improves the crumb of the bagels.

Lay out the dough and cut into eight pieces. Pick up each piece, roll it out briefly between your hands and pinch the ends together to complete the ring. Don't worry if it doesn't look pretty! It just adds authenticity.

Dust a baking sheet liberally with cornmeal to prevent sticking. A non-stick baking sheet can't hurt. If you're out of cornmeal flour or oatmeal will do.

Boil three bagels at a time, until they float or for 20 seconds, but no longer. Remove bagels to the baking sheet. Don't put too many in at a time or the water will cool. Let the boil resume between batches.

Sprinkle lightly with kosher salt and crushed anise seed, fennel seed or other toppings. The middle eastern place around the corner from my office just happens to carry crushed anise seed and I bought some on a whim. I am not as cool as I sound.

Bake at 450 degrees for 20 minutes or until nicely browned.

Fresh bagels are insanely great right out of the oven with your favorite fixins. They also freeze well. I usually eat one almost immediately, let the rest cool, then put three in a bag on the counter and four in a freezer bag.

I tend to alternate between this recipe and simply making bread, which can be done with the same ingredients, but you'll want to add another 1/8th cup of water or so. Bagels pick up extra moisture in the boil and need to be tough enough to resist.

3/12 '16 2 Comments
That looks delicious. I have child that would love those. (Toasted bagels with excessive amounts of crunchy peanut butter is one of the the few things that picky child would eat when he was little- thankfully, he's not as picky now.)
Beth Adele 3/13 '16
And the effort level is so close to zero!
Thomas Boutell 3/13 '16