This is how I party on a Friday night!

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PARTY!! YEAHHLH! WOOO!! FRIDAY NIGHT!! TETTS!!  OH MAH GAH!! 

 The math:

    Biore Pore Perfect Strips

+  B0rked Website Thing I Am Procrastinating About Fixing 

----------------------------

= Clean Pores.

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10/6 '18 3 Comments
Honest question: do you feel the strips cause those little red veins to appear? Especially around the nose where they are used most? Or is it bunk? *eyes strips forlornly*
PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY ALL THE TIME
lol @ 'more tags than content'.
 

Vince and I are celebrating the end of the week by watching a YouTube channel called My Virgin Kitchen. We're watching this adorable blonde haired blue eyed British family, testing various "kitchen hacks."

Honestly, I'm not in the mood for this right now. I want to test-drive a knitting stitch I found online, or finish knitting this purple hat for Trish, or drink screwdrivers while playing We Happy Few. But this family is so ridiculously cute and I'm so starved for People Being Nice To Each Other, and Vince wants to watch food videos and I happen to like being around him. 

Here's thing: Watch the kids. They are SAVVY. All Caps. They know how to look good on camera. I suspect this was filmed (a word that makes no sense, in the digital age, much like how a floppy disk as a symbol for "save" makes no sense) with something allowing the kids to see themselves on camera, like a phone camera in selfie mode or a laptop. The kids barely fidget, they're perfectly in frame, they follow instructions, only deviating when it's adorable to do so. The younger one, in particular, is working for Maximum Kid Cuteness. 

I said to Vince, "Imagine the amount of work that the Food Network goes through to capture Friday afternoon attention spans, how much money is spent, how much studio space, how many lighting assistants, whatever. These folks circumvented all of that and made something that's basically just as good, if not better." 

Admittedly, I like the videos better when it's just the guy in his kitchen making grilled cheese sandwiches and failing. But anyway.

So, I'm watching this video and over-analyzing it, wondering how this guy gets compensated for this work. Is this his thing he does for fun, while the girls are at soccer or his wife is working? Is this their family activity, like board game night? He does have a cookbook, but I can't imagine that's hugely lucrative. 

Then I notice,  the older of the two girls is soaking up all this information like a sponge. This little girl is going to grow up to find a way to make YouTube able to use data from fitness trackers so that every time a video makes a viewer happy, the video creator gets paid. 

Yes, that's incredibly invasive and requires tremendous pressure to get users to opt in, along with working in the background to pressure the general populace to use fitness trackers. It requires a vision as detailed as it is vast. But, look at that face.

This little girl is working on a master plan. 

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10/5 '18 2 Comments
I can't tell if I hate this family or like them.
I know. They seem too polished, like a family of British replicants. Even the part where they try to pop an ear of corn in the microwave is cute. But the fact that they failed without using it as a moment to explain the difference between fresh corn and popping corn, makes them seem more believable.
Does that make them really less believable?
Is it a nesting doll of credibility and incredulity?

The guy apparently had the opportunity to build a second kitchen studio for his YouTube habit, but opted to continue using his family’s perfectly lit and open plan kitchen instead.
 

So, in researching this current art project, I came across an interesting thing: we all scale our perceptions to our own experience. We joke about first world problems, but that’s the thing; for the person who is screaming about how he didn’t get his appetizer as fast as he wanted, or, gee, I dunno, who whined about liking beer in front of Congress, or who maybe killed people because they had nicer business cards than him, those things ARE the worst things ever to happen, because they’re the worst things to happen TO THEM. They’d rate that ten out of ten on their scale, because that’s how they tare their scale.

The depth of feeling is the same as it would be for, say, Katrina survivors - the worst thing is the worst thing. The problem is how many people lack the basic capability to go “oh, not getting a 7 pm table at Prego’s is not the same as having cancer.” Or “Being told you can’t graze your herd on public land for free for years is not the same as systematic racial discrimination over three hundred years.” It doesn’t work any more than that thing we heard way back when about how we should clean our plates because there are starving children in Africa worked. 

The problem is that empathy, or even the ability to recognize that your scale of suffering might not line up with someone else’s, can’t be legislated, it can’t be forced on people. It’s actually somewhere in the physical brain. We evolved to have empathy, and it’s clear that not everybody got it in the kit.  Hell, maybe human society needs the occasional bastard to function, I dunno.  

But the key thing here is that appealing to a lot of people in power’s empathy is not going to work. They will think that because the worst thing ever was the time their frat bros have them a wedgie and they got through that all right, then everybody else’s worst problem can be gotten through just as easily. 

Facts don’t matter because their scale has been tared to a region of human experience where person-to-person interactions are all that matter.  If you’ve never had an experience where the world disagreed with you and you couldn’t tell it “No, there ISN’T a fire burning my house down”, then you have no way to deal with someone ELSE telling you that if you have a gasoline-and-sparklers party in your living room, bad things might happen. 

This is why I think a fair number of anti discrimination activists are attacking the problem where it can’t be hurt. Reason doesn’t work on the people whose scales are set to a region where feelings got hurt. Fairness doesn’t apply to people who haven’t ever experienced unfairness. 


What would work? I dunno. But if somebody thinks that being late for a dinner party is the same as having your children taken away and lost in the system forever, and can’t imagine there’s a difference between them, then you gotta try another way to solve the problem. 

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10/5 '18
 

So, the new heat pump went in yesterday. I've been living without a heat pump for 2 years, after the unreliable old one went belly up on the first cooling day of the year. Winters, I limped by on the emergency heat circuit, an electric blanket and two dog power. Summers were handled by a sophisticated array of window air conditioners and portable units providing enough cooling to be comfortable/tolerable.

But of course there are no windows in the bathrooms of my house.

Consequently I spent as little time in the necessary rooms as possible during the summer. They were always warm-ish. Post shower it was advisable to skip shaving as often as I could get away with it. Shower, brush my teeth and dash.

But now the new heat pump is in! Huzzah!

I noticed it immediately as the temperature and humidity both made a precipitous decline. Because the odd thing about portables is that you're either freezing your 'nads off if you're in the direct airflow, or you're a bit warm if you're anywhere else in the room.

But central air. Glorious central air, all hail Willis Carrier!

First impression: this thing is quiet. When the condensor fan kicks on I can't hear it. Which is probably the way it should be, I have just gotten used to listening to the industrial grade impeller grinding to life on the old one. It's a nice life upgrade.

For those keeping track at home, this is renovation project number three. Next up, windows. (No, not the OS from Hell. The other type.)

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10/2 '18 9 Comments
Gonna pay for itself quick I bet. Not that window acs are terrible, but electric heat...
The horrible heat pump I had was only about $20 less expensive than my array of inexpensive air conditioners. But that could have been because it was the crapola "unit that fell off the back of the truck".
Wheeeee!!! Congratulations!! Dooood, I am so, so, so happy for you. I know how long you've been limping along with various things in your house-- this has got to feel amazing.

Here's to a comfy winter!

Since it's a heat pump, what's that mean for humidity in the house in the winter? Will your house be drier than a house with non-heat-pump heat? If so, I have a brand-new (and stylish!) room humidifier which we only used for one season before we got a whole-house humidifier put in (it came with our HVAC system). With the added humidity, our guitars and furniture and my skin were all infinitely happier. It's yours if you want it.
As a bonus I also had them replace the flex line on my dryer with an actual hard duct. I kept the vent box that diverts the dryer output into a second lint filter and into the basement, keeping my house nicely humidified in the winter, and reclaiming some otherwise waste heat.

I'll pass on the humidifier, because with the windows up next, most of my belongings will be moving out to a storage unit.

But that will also involve <dramatic music> a great purging of THE STUFF! <dah dah DAH!>
Wait. Is that duct tape I spy, used on an ACTUAL DUCT?
'Tis indeed the mythical tape of ducts. The metalized version therein that is supposed to be used on ducts.
My mind is blown!
T'is a thing of great beauty!!
Thankee!
 

In the '90s, I bought the cheapest, crappiest bed I could afford on my temp-agency salary when I lived in Arizona, and slept on that god-awful bed for years.  

Finally in 2004 I was making "a nice wage" (as my brother would once write) and splurged on an expensive mattress/boxspring set for almost $800, which was hella spendy back then. I bought a Serta Perfect Sleeper Modesto, and it was deemed by many people to be The World's Most Comfy Bed. (I don't know how to type that without it making me sound like a slut. I'm just saying I was proud of my purchase because it was one of the only nice things I owned, so lots of people tried it.)

They say you should replace your mattress every seven years, though that may just be the mattress companies telling you that... but for the last 9 or so years or so it was pretty obvious that the non-Jill side of the bed was significantly lower and more broken/sunken in (read: broken) than my side of the bed. Matt's back has been bugging him now for a while, so we decided it was time to buy a new mattress.

I take after my mom-- I am not a shopper. I have noooo interest in going to 12 different places to find the best price and compare 47 different things; I just want to walk in, try a few items, and buy the one that I like that also offers the least amount of hassle. I don't care if this means I might pay $3.69 extra for something. I've got a life to lead. 

So yesterday we looked online to see what stores in the area sold Serta Perfect Sleepers in hopes of getting a mattress close to what I've got now (only not broken on one side). We decided to hit the Concord Mall on 202 where we could go to Sears and Boscovs in one shot, and then head over to Raymour and Flanagan if those didn't pan out. 

On our way to the mall we passed Raymour and Flanagan, so we said "screw it" and went there first. (50,000 points for Matt's fast reflexes and driving skills.)  We walked in and were greeted by a lovely saleslady who showed us a bunch of mattresses. She was a good salesperson with just the right amount of personable gab, but also knew when to leave us alone. She'd clearly been to Mattress Selling School, asking questions about how we sleep, if we have back problems, what we like/don't like, telling us all about the best type of mattress for hinky spinal injuries, and I'm not gonna lie... we settled on the most expensive one we tried. She didn't even try to force us into it; it was just the most comfortable. We are thrifty in most other aspects of our life, so why not splurge on a thing where we spend 70% of our time? (We spend a LOT of time lounging in bed; waaaaaay more than your average human). (Another way I take after my mother.)

This bed is like a cloud, and it apparently will help keep Hot Flash Jill cool during sweaty nights. I'm skeptical, but hopeful... because right now I have a stack of towels next to the bed that I rotate in and out throughout the night. (In fact, that's why I started writing this blog entry at 6-something AM... the bed was soaked and it woke me up. Sexy.)

They have next day delivery, so it should be coming today. (actually, the delivery guy just called and said he'll be here between 10-1. Woot!)  They'll take away the old mattress and box-spring and set up the new bed, plus there's a 100-night no-questions-asked return period. I liked that there were no hidden or extra charges... the price is the price and you don't have to pay for delivery or setup or taking away the old mattress, yadda yadda. 

We opted for a split box-spring hoping we might move to NYC someday where narrow stairwells would make getting a queen-sized boxspring into an apartment potentially tricky. It felt nice to be thinking ahead. 

I feel like I'm saying goodbye to a friend that got me through some really important years of my life... but it also feels nice to be buying a thing with Matt as a couple. We don't really have anything like that, really; we just have my stuff and his stuff all co-mingled, but nothing that is *ours.*  It only took us seven years to make this leap. :-)


NYC

In other news, we went to NYC this past week to see Steven Page's new trio at the Highline Ballroom on Tuesday night. We were supposed to go with Jeff and Mindy, but they were busy so we went with Brian Marshall and Tom Moynahan.  Steve was funny, smart, sounded great, and did a great mix of old and new stuff.  Matt and I grabbed a hotel (yay, Hilton points!) and slept in the Financial District, right at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge in Manhattan, an area of the city we'd never stayed in before, and it felt like it could be home.  We saw an apartment building we loved, and a two-bedroom is only $7500/month sooooooo we won't be moving into that particular building anytime soon I guess. :). But it did have a great Australian breakfast/lunch place nearby called "Hole In The Wall" which was deeeelicious, and I had my very first flat-white, which is a coffee-drink originated in either Australia or New Zealand (they argue over it)... it's like a latte except the milk isn't frothy at all (it's flat; get it?). I'd wanted to try one forever, and it lived up to the hype. 

Anyhoo, it's 7:55am and I woke up in a puddle of sweat about 45 minutes ago, so I'm ready to go back to sleep. I'm turning my ringer on nice and loud so I can hear the bed delivery guy's call. (He called! They'll deliver between 10 and 1.)

It's hard to believe this is the last morning I'll be sleeping/snoozing on this bed. 

Thank you, bed. You've been the best bed. 

--

PS: The weather has been absolutely GLORIOUS the last few days, hasn't it? Man, this season (aka 'the Fifth Season') is by far my favorite season. 75 degree days, low humidity, slightly foggy mornings, starry nights, sleeping with the windows open... so good!

PPS: I watched the clips from this weekend's SNL premiere and I howled! I thought they really nailed it. Apparently I like Adam Driver. I did not know this before, even despite my Kylo Renning.  (Kanye though... what the hell was that?)


x-posted to dreamwidth.org

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10/2 '18 18 Comments
Girls is a kind of annoying show in most respects (and only gets less interesting as the seasons go on) but it is, in my opinion, well worth watching for how freakin' HILARIOUS Adam Driver is in it.

You kids just jumping into buying newfangled doodads.

My mattress is 17 years old, and I'm in the same boat. It's brokeity broke ass broke. I need to get on the stick and buy a new one.
You will be a happy guy when you do.

I will tell you that Raymour and Flanagan had a thing where the price of the mattress included everything-- new boxspring, setup, taking the old mattress/boxspring, etc.

We missed the (very reasonable and totally understandable) fine print that said that they will not take your mattress/boxspring away if they inspect it and find anything that could vaguely look like a bug ever walked on it, because they don't want a potentially buggy mattress to be on the same truck as new mattresses. I dig this. Good god, if I got bedbugs or fleas or anything because of some other person's ancient mattress touching my new mattress, I'd kill someone.

Alas, our boxspring had some cobwebs on it (hard to believe that a boxspring would have cobwebs after being in a house for 11 years, but hey) so they wouldn't take it away. No stress-- our trash company will take them for free (I just called)... but right now I worry that our house looks like "that house" with the mattress outside.

It's hidden, thankfully... but yeah.
We've got a ~$300 foam mattress with an egg crate pad and feather bed on top and somehow the combination is just about perfect. Though it's been a long stretch of years of tweaking and juggling things to make it so. I mean it's a whole story of making do and making do until making do actually worked. I have so many stories about beds. None of them really awesome. But at least now when we can't sleep, it's not physical discomfort but BRAIN BEES.
My dad absolutely swears by his egg crate bed, and he will not consider sleeping on anything else. When you find what works, you go with it!

Tell me more about this feather bed on top. Does it make you sweat? My new bed has a magical pillow top, but there is always room for Moar Fluffiness.

And hoooo-boy, I am allll too familiar with BRAIN BEES. I've never heard it described with that term, but that is the most perfect description ever. Thank you for giving me words for this thing.
Winnie-the-Pooh could knock on his head and the bees would shoot out his mouth. Yet another reason having a head full of fluff would be, many times over, superior to meat.
Ikea Canada seems to no longer sell the featherbed we have. It's similar in function to the pillow top of your new bed. A featherbed wants to be aired out and rotated more regularly than one rotates a mattress. Weekly or as frequently as you change the fitted sheet is good.
Ah! Thank you! This is very helpful.

I've seen them advertised over the years, but never actually knew how to use one, as goofy as that may sound.
One more question-- does it go under your fitted sheet, or do you sleep directly on it?
We don't find the feather bed unduly sweat inducing; it is neither cooling nor warming. Just... [ poof ] comforting. Some kind of magic.

Anyway, our stack is

Fitted sheet
Waterproof mattress pad (cat insurance)
Feather bed
Egg crate foam
Mattress itself
Heh. I have almost this exact same setup, also from having to make do. And it do make do, very nicely.
When my mom was alive, I'd visit and sleep with her in her big king bed. I have no idea what the mattress was, but the egg crate pad she put on top? I always slept So Soundly. What is it with that stuff! It doesn't LOOK like it should be so comfortable.
Ooo. New beeeeeeeeeeeedd. May you sleep the sleep of the ages.

Nuthin' like a new mattress, even better when you can afford to get the most comfy.

We found a mattress company out in CA when we lived there. Love their mattresses so damned much, we ordered a new one and had it shipped to VT when the old one started to wear out. LOYAL we are.
Oooooh! What kind of mattress? I love knowing about products people are super-loyal to.

Tonight shall be glorious. :)
(I'm sitting on it right now, desperately fighting the urge to climb inside since I have rehearsal tonight and need to be working on music right now...)
Oh! And the mattress covers unzip, so you can actually open them up and see everything inside, the coils and the latex and the wool and whatever. Which makes my brain gurgle with rainbow colors.
And yeah, they're a million dollars and thirty two cents and we'll probably never be able to afford another one, but wow it's fun while it's lasting.
It's this company: https://sleepworks.com/

"European Sleep Works" sounds fancy shmancy, and I guess they kind of are, but not in a ... fancy shmancy kind of way. It's really the engineering that impresses me. You can even customize the two sides of the bed, for whatever level of softness/firmness you like, and also the "box spring" isn't really a box spring; it's this nifty adjustable slat system with little sliders, so you can make sure the bed gives a little more at your shoulder, for instance, if you're a side sleeper. (And it's a split system, so if one of you is a side sleeper and one is a tummy sleeper, you can adjust independently.)

Oh, and they're local. They source a lot of their components from Europe (hence the name, I guess), but they build the mattresses right around the corner from where we used to live. So basically you order a bed and they build it for you.

But really, their beds just FEEL SO GOOD to me. Which is whatcha want, after all.
Oooooooooooh, this sounds absolutely *decadent.*
 

NAFTA
you're a Clinton treaty
i said, NAFTA
from the past century
i said, NAFTA
you're not all about me
there's no need for you today

NAFTA
it's time to let you go
i said, NAFTA
i want people to know
i said, NAFTA
that this time it's my show
so i'm going to rename you

your name is now Us-M-C-A
your name is now Us-M-C-A
yet much to my chagrin
i could not work "Trump" in
but we know who did all the work

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10/1 '18 4 Comments
 

OK if you take the soft white corn tortillas (which are very thin and fragile) and spread a tbsp of pasta sauce on them then put them in the toaster oven for a "toast" cycle and let them rest a bit, the sauce will cook down enough so that you can then put cheese and meat on top for a second toast cycle and they won't fall apart when you eat them. Maybe even have a bit of browning on the bottom for a lovely crusty crunch.

And it's not terrible, even tastes pretty good, for a GF pizza-like food product.

It's taken like a half dozen disintegrating, bad tasting, why am I eating this garbage variations to arrive at this bit of culinary wisdom over the past few weeks.

So if this is a road you'd like to travel, I've put down some gravel, at least, so you don't get your wheels stuck in the soggy tortilla mire.

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9/25 '18 3 Comments
Thank you. I might have to try this.
Sounds interesting! And simple.

I keep wanting to try a cauliflower crust, as people who have rave about it. But then I look a the recipes and think it looks like too much work.
 

Bear with me here; this takes a bit before I get to the point. So I'm a nominally heterosexual caucasian white male. I have a tiny little amount of street cred when it comes to prejudice and discrimination, but nowhere near enough to justify me going on about it (anti-Appalachian prejudice does exist, but I can pass, kind of thing.) That said, it's bloody well time for everybody to go on about it, because Trump and his fellows have enabled a huge amount of complete assholery and oh-my-god-are-you-really-saying-that that has actual, real world consequences for huge numbers of people across the planet. 

I want to do something. I donate to causes (it's hard to donate to political campaigns in the US from Canada), I vote, all that kind of stuff, but I was at a loss as to what. 

When I sat down and thought about the situation, I had an idea of something I can do. It's not a lot, and it won't actually affect the people who are most complicit in this disaster, but it might nudge the center of the bell curve 0.000001% in the right direction. The thing is, I'm worried about it. 

Here's the idea:

As a piece of art, I'm designing and building a game. Six players, concentric track-based - imagine Trivial Pursuit if it had three circles instead of just one- drawing cards to affect gameplay, etc.  Players draw cards -I'm stealing from Ticket to Ride here - that tell them what they have to do on that game board. So far, so good. 

The key bit is - I am building discrimination into the game rules. Certain players will have a definite, highly unspoken, advantage; they get more choices, they get a starting bonus, they can do things to the other players that  the other players can't do back, and so on. I won't state it in the rulebook that "Player X represents WASPs, and player Y represents Mexican-Americans" - it's just that there are more cards in the deck that let the blue player do things to the yellow player than vice versa. 

I'm thinking about including cards that let the players choose to vote on altering the rules - five out of six players can vote and say that the yellow player can't enter the inner circle, say, or that three out of six can demand the other three give them all their cards. 

It will be entirely possible to play the game so that everybody has the same shot at victory - just don't use the cards that screw other players over.

The goal is to get six male, white, cis players to sit down and play it - and maybe film the thing, maybe not, depending on human experimentation permission. Hopefully, as the game goes on, one or more of the players will realize that they are being systematically dicked over by both the rules and the other players. "Hey," they should say, "This ain't fair. I can't win", at which point I leap in and go "That's the point!"

There are games-as-art out there; there's one called Train that uses the act of playing a game to induce a feeling of complicity in an atrocity (I won't say how, that's part of Train's point). This one, though, isn't about complicity, it's about systematic discrimination.

The thing is: I am nervous. 

I don't want to be a dick. I don't want to be the white guy co-opting the oppression of others. I don't want to be Kevin Costner doing Dances with Wolves and thinking he's doing the First Nations a favor. 

I am, being white, cis, male, etc., complicit in the system that discriminates. I can't speak to the nonwhite, noncis, nonmale experience. What (I think) I can do is address how systems are put in place by people somewhat like me that result in systematic discrimination.

Is this fair?

Can I do this without being a dick?


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9/24 '18 4 Comments
I think you can, as long as your explanation of the final product (the film) explains that you wanted to make something clear to people who may have the same experience that you do.
Rob, if you feel like you have worked out the HOW...don't just make the game, write up a pitch for a reality TV show and send it around. Like Candid Camera, but not. Gather your white male players with ads asking for "focus group participants" and only reveal the primary mechanic if the group doesn't figure it out under gameplay conditions.

Probably can only do one season, and you'd have to film every episode before anything aired or else the secret would be out.

Or...let the secret get out. But the game would need to be balanced so you would get the result you want even with people coming in trying to exploit the system because they know the planned outcome.

Or... let them exploit it, which would also prove your larger point? All these players are going to sign a release, they will have zero ability to influence how they are protrayed in the final product. A narrator can hollow out the victory with cutting commentary for example.

I'm not helping at all with the how :/ But I think you could aim bigger on the what. There's an audience for this material.
"Is this fair? Can I do this without being a dick?" I don't know. I don't even know HOW to know -- but I know I want to see what happens. I really do.
Have you ever heard of the educator, John Hunter? He wrote a book called World Peace and Other 4th Grade Achievements. (And now there's a movie, a website, and access to the game he developed in the classroom.)

It's a different tack, doesn't deal in the same explicit way as you're talking about with white male privilege. But it's in the same philosophical space and you might find it really interesting. Link here:

http://worldpeacegame.org/

Link to the movie trailer (also on the website):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=393&v=lCq8V2EhYs0
 

It's 7:47 am. I have put a load of laundry in the washer and cleaned up after the dog. 

Why Is The Sudden Resurgence Of The Song 'Africa,' by Toto, A Thing? 

The song 'Africa,' by the pop-rock band Toto, has recently surged in popularity on the Internet. It has become a popular tune for musicans of all types to cover, and YouTube videos of the covers are shared frequently. However, some argue very effectively that the colonialist nature of its lyrics and ham-fisted attempts at echoing indigenious African music are insulting to Africans and their descendants. In this essay, I will argue that the recent embrace of the song  'Africa' shows us more about ourselves, via resitance to toxic masculinity, white fragility, and cultural imperialism, and embrace of new communication methods. 

This essay assumes that the reader has basic familiarity with The Internet, the concept of memes, and the song "Africa" by Toto. We also assume that the reader is familiar with the popular music video which supported initial single and album sales. A full analysis of the video will be available at another time, upon request. 

"Africa" reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart on February 5, 1983. Though Toto has other top 5 hits, it remains as their most memorable song. The band was more attached to another hit song, "Rosanna," and in an interview with KROQ-FM, dismissed Africa as "an experiment" and "dumb," and said that it has used "placeholder" lyrics that stuck (such as Phil Collins' use of "Sususudio," or Trey Parker's use of "Shpadoinkle"). The lyrics used as placeholders aren't nonsense words, and they end up illustrating ideas that show a colonialist bent. On its surface, the song seems to be about a white man, who goes to Africa, expecting to find knowledge, spiritual fulfillment and romantic love. The explosive chorus of the song (listed in 2012 by NME magazinein 32nd place on its lost of "50 Most Explosive Choruses") implies not that he found any of these things, but that he "bless(es) the rains down in Africa." The implication that the narrator has the godlike power to bless a force of nature places him in a selfishly powerful position. The rain, in the cathartic chorus, is a release from the tension that the rest of the song sets up.  

Embracing this song, with its colonialist attitude, implies that the next big meme probably should be Old Kentucky Home, with its original lyrics. The song doesn't seem to be shared by people of color. Though it's been recently covered by Weezer (their recording peaked at #3 on the US Adult Top 40), no R&B artist has covered it, no rap artist has sampled it. despite the fact that it would be very easy for someone like Kanye West to do so, it simply hasn't happened. The rap community samples, re-mixes and shares their work, at a higher rate of viral speed than other groups (citation needed), but a popular African American re-interpretation of it hasn't surfaced in the way other versions have. The covers of this song which have gained popularity have been voiced by men. Versions have been made popular by Family Guy, American Dad, South Park, and Jimmy Fallon. There hasn't been a version which grabbed the zeitgeist that is sung by a woman, or a non-binary and/or outwardly LGBT person.  Essentially, it's a straight-white-male-hit. Is this song a secret white supremacist dog whistle? An anthem for the Brock Turners, Richard Spencers, and other rabid tiki-torch carriers? Though that interpretation, sadly, is valid, we need to examine this phenomenon more closely. 

To start simply, let's look at the sharing of this meme. The website Know Your Meme details the inception and process of it being shared via YouTube. As of this writing, their charts show that its popularity as a meme is rising. 

In 2010, working musician Mike Massé shared a video of his low-fi interpretation of the song. The performance was solely on guitar and bass, with no drums. It's a soulful, catchy, intimate video. Their choice to strip the song down and avoid drums left the possibilities of alternative musicianship in performing the song wide open. In 2013, the Angel City Chorale used the summer-camp game of making hand sounds to simulate the sound of a stirring and visceral rain storm in their YouTube performance. Angel City's mission is to promote tolerance and diversity in Los Angeles,  so the colonialist nature of the song was brushed aside in favor of the musicianship of the explosive chorus. The popularity of the song allowed the choir to showcase its strengths, and garner over eleven million views. 

In both cases, what we have here is the use of a popular, simple, song to allow musicians to show their strengths, via re-interpretation. A subreddit was created, challenging musicians to submit their alternative versions of the song.  It's entirely possible that the subreddit may have been created by whatever record company owns the rights to the song. Unlike the Rickroll meme, in which the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" varied minimally, if at all, this meme required variations on a theme. The result was that musicians learned, re-interpreted, recorded, and published their versions of the song, and those publications were shared. People who share memes for the sake of sharing them shared it, along with people who actually care about the musician or the song. It has been popular among more than one generation. Essentially, the song is shared because it's shared. It's popular because it's popular. 

What about the song itself? Does the "sharing to share" of this song mean that there's more racism going around than people would like to admit? Fine. Let's unpack these lyrics. You could go to Geniuslyrics dot com and look up other interpretations, but you're here, and you got this far. So, get yourself a fresh beverage and strap in, folks. Here's my interpretation of "Africa." For the purposes of brevity in this already too-long essay, and because of the song's resonance with young white men, we will refer to the narrator as a "he," though the gender of the narrator is never mentioned in the lyrics. 

I hear the drums echoing tonight

We start with an unreliable narrator. His initial description of the world is drumbeats and darkness. We know that this is an oversimplified, cartoonish version of Africa, the continent. It is possible that the drums could be echoing from a neighbor's stereo system, or blood rushing in his ears from his own heartbeat, or any number of sources. However, at its essence, what we have here is drumbeats, darkness, and mystery. 

But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She's coming in, 12:30 flight

The narrator is distanced from a "she." She is separated from him, by gender, flight, by the bubble of an airplane and the safety of quiet conversation. 

The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation

He years for some kind of spiritual fulfillment, reflected in her safe space in the flight, the quiet conversation. I interpret this symbol as the space that feminists and other progressives claim, to debate topics and make progress. It's distant from the narrator, and he knows it. By contrast, he has drumbeats and darkness. But, he wants to join that space. 

I stopped an old man along the way
Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies

The Magical Negro is a symbol that has infiltrated Western fiction for centuries. The lyrics don't say that this man is African, but we assume he is. In any case, the narrator assumes not only sagacity in the old man, but also that the old man is willing to dispense knowledge, like a vending machine. 

He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you"

The man doesn't say anything. He only turns to him and gives him a look, to get going. The sage doesn't provide a proverb for him. Or does he? is the adminition to shut up, stop overthinking, and get going, a message in itself? The listener is left to wonder. 

It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

We get the first version of this chorus. It is unclear if the "you" mentioned here is the aforementioned "she," or the nation of the song's title. Whatever this "you" is, it has become integral to the narrator's quest for knowledge and spirutual satisfaction. 

I bless the rains down in Africa

How does the narrator have power to "bless" rain? He doesn't. He's not a god, his distance from spiritual fulfillment indicates so. Could "bless" be interpreted as a word for the expression of gratitude? If the lyric had been, "I thank the rains down in Africa," it wouldn't have scanned as well. In the 21st century, we experience heat and hurricanes like never before: rain can be a welcome gift, as well as a killer. To say "I thank the rains" oversimplifies the power that rain can have. To use the verb, "bless," rather than "thank," implies the deep spiritual relief that rain can provide, or the epic nature of the power of rain.  

Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

The narrator knows that he needs patience and persistence to acheive his goals, but the lyric falls short of resolution. Like what has been called a "feminine ending" in Shakespeare's iambic pentameter, this lack of resolution shows the narrator's unreliability, and powelessness to finish his quest. 

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company

Again, we have another cartoon-metaphor of Savage Africa: wild dogs, to go with the aforementioned drumbeats. However, feral dogs can exist anywhere, coyotes can be heard in Los Angeles. So far the only concrete evidence of the narrator's world is that it has drumbeats, darkness, and wild dogs howling. he described them as restless and lonely, not dangerous or hungry. The dogs are a metaphor for his own loneliness and restlessness. 

I know that I must do what's right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti

Kilimanjaro is nowhere near the Serengeti. Both are located in Tanzania, but they are 100 miles apart. This makes it clear that the narrator has only the thinnest understanding of what Africa is really like, and probably has never been there. He mentions Olympus. Whether he means the mythic, fictional Olympus, or the actual Olympus, in Greece, is unclear, and unimportant. He is taking an African geographic icon and understanding it by applying  his own knowledge of icons important to the Western mind. In this sentence, he shows his own cultural weakness. This leads up to the most important line in this song (highlighted by the harmonizing backing vocals):

I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

The narrator acknowledges his own weakness, confusion, and unreliability, and wants it to be cured. After this line, the song's chorus repeats, with little change. This concept is as far as the narrator's understanding progresses. he knows that he doesn't like what he is, and wants to change it. He doesn't have a plan, or a totem to grab, just a bad state of mind that he wants to escape. 

The "Africa" in the song is not the literal continent. It is a state of mind, where the narrator is ignorant of other cultures and mindsets, but hungers for understanding. He is in the dark, and can only populate that darkness with a few concepts he has been told about. His conflict remains unresolved. Let's go back to the fact that the narrator's gender is never mentioned: he's not even trying to hang onto a concept of manhood. In the traditional version of this song, the coda is a stripped-down, nearly emotionless version of the drumbeats from the opening of the song, implying that the narrator remains in this dark, lonely state. 

Songwriter David Paich said (in an interview with The Guardian) that the lyrics came out of his childhood desire to see the world. He was fascinated with stories the priests at his Catholic boys' school told about missionary work. The minimal understanding of Africa in the song comes from his childhood's thin understanding of Africa as a continent. He also said that the biggest conflict the priests faced was the loneliness and celibacy. And, of course, sex sells pop records.  The band has stated that they are uncomfortable with the overt meaning of this song's lyrics. As guitarist Steve Luthaker said to Paich, "Are you Jesus, man?" Though Paich didn't intend to write a song about toxic masculinity in conflict with nature and "other"-ness, the conflict is there.

It is entirely possible that young white men embrace this tune out of a desire for validation of colonialistic urges. However, as we see in this lyric breakdown, it could be the story of a guy who wants to break away from a closed-minded, dark, lonely state. The resurgence in popularity of this song can indicate a male desire for multiple interpretations, for participation in culture, and a need to be part of something greater than themselves. Whether or not the people who share this meme are aware of this or not, like the conflict in the song, is still a mystery. 

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK, AS THE KIDS SAY. I am available for pop-culture-analysis writing gigs upon request. 

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9/24 '18 18 Comments
When I was a kid and the song came along, I knew very little about Africa. I knew the song was talking about going places you don't know and finding something powerful. Being a fantasy nerd this appealed to me.

As an adult, my understanding of the subjects involved is better. I get the problematic elements more, especially in the music video. That said, the original theme of journeying to find yourself still appeals and it is also just damn catchy to listen to. It has an earworm quality to it. I suspect nostalgia also plays a roll. Perfect storm of things to make it appealing to me.
I'm right there with you on the nostalgia thing. You might enjoy this: https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2018/jan/30/toto-how-we-made-africa
I have of course had the song stuck in my head all day.
GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAAAAAY FROM YOOOOU!!!!!
Now you're just doing it on purpose.
THERE'SNUFFINDENAHUNNIDMINAHMOORE COULDEBBADOOO!
When it comes up (inevitably) in this circle of friends that I mentioned in your previous post, it seems like the most fun part is everybody singing the chorus. It's loud, even people like me who don't know the lyrics to anything can fake their way through it, and it has a few harmonies for a dozen or so voices to fool around with. So it's fun!

Maybe people are enjoying the terrible lyrics ironically?
I'd be inclined to agree. "I bless the rains down in Africa" is right up there with "and there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."
WTH was wrong with us in the early 1980s?!
Blame Reagan. He was such a black hole, even people who disagreed with him were spun off into wrong directions.
There is a cycle of cluelessness - catchiness - uncoolness - ironic enjoyment - cluelessness - catchiness. Mostly harmless, until you get "ironic racism" and people who can't tell if Kanye is trolling us or not. (Alas, he's not.)
But when he does figure out trolling, it's going to be NUTS.
The recent surge is, I think, because of some teenager trolling the band Weezer on Twitter, begging them to cover the song. When the request grew legs with followers, Weezer capitulated.

Why Africa in general, though? Your scholarly Ted-talk analysis is as good as any.

My personal memories around this song are... weird. When the song was released, I was in my first year of college. For late winter/early spring break, my boyfriend and I rented a Chrysler K Car and drove down to Florida*, where we stayed with a relative of my mom's.

I never understood the lyrics to Africa; they made ZERO sense to me. Zero. (And from my position of privilege, I never needed to think about them until fairly recently.) But wow that song sounded good on what were, in my limited experience, a bass-heavy souped-up stereo system in the rental car. Because it had soared to the top of the Billboard charts at the time, we had numerous opportunities to hear it on the radio during the drive to FL and back, cranking the volume every time. The sound of the song made my spine tingle. The timber of the voices, the synths, the percussion.

I am, btw, the very opposite of a music head. I'm married to a music head, many of my best friends are music heads... I am not a music head. Where they are moved to tears by a piece of music, I'm thinking, "Oh that's kind of nice; I like that." So for me to remember this song and have such a strong response to it is fairly unusual. I'm sad that the lyrics are as dumb and divisive as they are.

*Remember when you could easily do that? Drive down the coast on 95 and not have it be a parking lot?
Yeah, I realize now that I misunderstood the lyrics for a long time. I thought it was, “I miss the rains,” and I thought it was “sure as Kilimanjaro rises like a nimbus above the Serengeti.”

And yes, that tune is powerful with the right sound system.
I love this song. I always thought the line was, "like a leopress" -er, a female leopard- rather than Olympus though. Also, I think that the song was written in the selfish, self-absorbed 80's, and it's a meme because things that the popular opinion believes are terrible- like this song (after it's chart-topping days, it's often trotted out as "omg this song is bad")- become memes in the long run. It's so very earnest and out there, and that makes it rife for mockery and high-concept, trollish lolz.
True. I like "leopress" better than "nimbus."
Selfish, self-absorbed 80s is right. Also, Raiders of the Lost Ark came out in 1981, so there was that whole "white guy goes to exotic locales, wears lots of cotton, takes what he wants" aesthetic. See: Duran Duran's videos for Hungry Like The Wolf, Save A Prayer.
wow. nice close reading. I eagerly await the day when Toto's Dune soundtrack gets its day in the sun.
Thank you! I feel good now.
 

I just had a rather fantastic encounter at my local coffee shop (Peet’s). I had settled in to do some catch up work on art stuff. I had just finished a commission for my buddy Krishna. His wife asked his daughter the age old ‘If you could have a super power, what would it be?’ thing. When they heard the result (a modification of Elsa, of course) K commissioned me to draw it up. The result is above.

Anyway - so I’d just finished up the image, and a family came in with a little boy who can’t be older than 8. I noticed the printer paper in front of him with... are those comic panels? And pencil drawings? Why yes. Yes, they are.

”Are you drawing a comic?” I asked.

He was a bit shy with the big hairy stranger, but with a glance at his mom (grandma?) sitting next to him, he said “Yeah.”

”Well that’s awesome! This is what I just finished!” at which point I turned the iPad to face him and clicked the play button on the time lapse video for the image.

His jaw dropped and his mom started Oooh-ing.

We proceeded to have a conversation about art and comics and I introduced them to software he could get for his iPad and of the very concept of ashcan comic books. He’d said that he was doing them and keeping them to himself. I explained that (if he wanted to) ash cans would let him keep the originals and still share copies with his friends.

The whole family seemed delighted.

For a while now, I have been in seventh heaven listening to the sounds of the little boy quietly narrating his comics to himself as he works. Both dialogue and (far better) sound effects keep coming while he’s drawing.

He’s not playing on an iPhone. He doesn’t have his own laptop here. He’s not watching Youtube. He’s drawing. With pencil and pen on paper.

That. Was. Me. When I was a kid, and it’s just so very good to see as an adult.

* * * * *

In case anyone’s curious, this is the text for the commission:

"Here is what M told me she said: "If she could pick any magic power she would pick being the princess of ice and snow mountains and being in control of fire. And she hopes one eye was clear and white and one eye was red and orange"."

And here’s a link to the time lapse video of the process - https://photos.app.goo.gl/YQEXkK1kQEe4DHw47

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9/23 '18 6 Comments
Gaaah! I can't read what M told you she said. It's in different text that doesn't wrap in mobile. I'm in potrait mode now, so it cuts off at

"she said: "I

When I flip my phone to landscape I get a few more characters, but they display off my display. :-)

Wondering if I should submit a bug report, or should I just reload the page requesting the Desktop Version™?
Anyway, this interaction with the boy made me SO HAPPY. Go fuzzy guy, go!
Thanks for the heads up. It's because I used the 'preformatted' option to try to differentiate - like quote formatting in a book. I've changed it so you should be able to read it now.

I've also added a bug report for the OPW folks. :)
Oh! Thanks! I was gonna do that-- thanks for taking care of it!

And thanks for re copying/pasting the quote so'z I can read it now. Yay!
OK, I'm in DesktopMode now, and it shows a teeny bit more of the quote, but it still won't wrap... and it still runs off my window no matter my phone orientation.

(I'm using Chrome.)

Bummer!
Oh, and Maj. Dickason's Blend from Peet's is the coffee of the house here. They make a half-caf version that we buy from Peet's online, and it's pretty awesome seeing the "Roasted on" date be the week prior to me grinding the beans in the kitchen. Damn tasty.

I have Patty to thank for turning us onto that blend. Peets rocks!