Karen

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I sat and had tea with Roger's mother (and Roger) last night, and it was so reminiscent of sitting at the kitchen table with my grandmother, I felt a little teary inside. There's a bit of an age difference, so I didn't want to offend her by comparing her, my boyfriend's mom, to my grandmother, even though there's about 15 years difference. Past 80, I think it's fair to stop reminding people they're past 80.

Anyway, it was a cool night, and she likes to make tea, and I ended up awake til 5am but damn if it didn't feel so much like coming home after a long time away. I was pleasantly surprised by this. I guess most times we stop by there's a bunch of folks there, or it's mid-day and her shows are on, but yesterday ended up with just the three of us, and we sat at the old worn out kitchen table* that reminds me of mine, inherited from my own grandparents not that long ago, and had tea.

We talked about Leh's, and she showed us old glasses and bits of advertising on swizzle sticks of places around Allentown, PA that are long gone. She can be a funny lighthearted lady. She can tell a good dirty joke. But she can also be stern. Her grown kids don't cross her. She still runs her house with the long arm of a parent with Presence. She nursed her bedridden husband for four long years before he passed. Her boys are Pretty Good People and very devoted, but also kind and helpful to everyone in general.

And she talked about how she cleaned her floors every day, and dusted all her furniture, with six people in the house every day and that lit me up pretty good. It was my first time really finding a connection with her. I helped her clean her vent grates and we talked about how hard it was to see the quality of our cleaning go downhill for health reasons. It's funny because we had gone so Rog could spend time with her, and I ended up kinda getting this huge nostalgia hug, with bonus bonding.


I think the first time I spent any amount of time with her, almost two years ago, I was a little intimidated. Here I was blowing in off the heels of helping her son's best friend through cancer, and who knows what she thought about what had been going on (and we certainly didn't fill her in), but it didn't seem to matter, and there we sat, this time four of us: me, Rog, his sister Linda, and her, and played some Gin Rummy. I was rusty as hell, but I ended up winning the first game and she the second and all in all it was a good few hours of just sitting and talking and laying down cards. I can't sit for long in a chair, and this was before the second back surgery (though it's not any better now), but it was an easy feeling, one I hadn't been aware I'd missed until I was aware, you know?**


Oh, and the house has bits and bobs in every nook. A row of Scottie dog statues next to a ceramic garlic braid, one that's in everyone's house from a trip to Italy years ago, along with the daughter's amazing paintings, and pictures of weddings and growing kids, stuff crammed in everywhere. It's a home that's been the same family home for an entire lifetime, and it's amazing to me. I've been going there for 2 years, and while I knew right away his family was a good kind, I hadn't seen past to the heart of it, and that is that they were the old-fashioned, close, traditional family unit that somehow stayed together to the end.

In my life our childhood home disappeared at 10, and my closest parent (my dad) moved out of the house we maturated in in our 20s. My mom sold her home and moved states away. There's no childhood home for me. And no one took up the mantle. Not for long. We're all scattered. Trying, but spread thin and getting thinner. Still a family, just... different. Not as close. No bits and bobs.

But there they are, doing The Thing. And it's nice.

Sit down. Have some tea.


*Anne Mollo I'm thinking of you. :)

**My writing skills feel so rusty. I'm also feeling Penna Dutch-y as I'm writing, and I know it's from talking with my nextdoor neighbor awhile today.

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You are a *lovely* writer! I really enjoyed reading this.
Why thank you dear! That was so nice of you to share. :)
Karen 7/3edited
The closest thing I had to a childhood home was the haunted old Victorian we lived in when I was little. My parent spent more years living in the lake house, but I was already 8 when we moved there, and it was all new construction and kind of 70s-ugly. So whenever I think of a childhood home, I think of the Victorian. Or rural Vermont in general, as that was a constant at least.

The funny thing is, even though I wasn't so attached to the lake house, and even though I was living out in the world (in NYC), when they sold that house and moved—it was like a gut punch. I felt so homeless and sad. (And then when my mom died and we finally sold her condo, I felt that way again!)

I've also put my own kids through all kinds of home changes over the years, my oldest daughter living on the east coast and then the west and in a string of rentals until we bought a house and then back to the east coast into this house... She's also the one who still, at 22, gets horribly homesick at times. My other two are much younger and don't remember our house on the west coast very much anymore (though when they were very little, they used to miss the climbing trees in the yard of that house), so this place feels most like home to them. And very belatedly of course I've realized how much it can help kids if you stay put. With my own nomadic upbringing, I actually find that I get a little restless when I've lived in a place for very long. Even this house, now—and it's a wonderful house!—I sometimes fantasize about leaving and going somewhere new.

Thank you for thinking of me. :) Your comment made me actually go back and re-read my own post. I hadn't in fact looked at it as I was reworking it for storytelling, and although I knew I'd had to strip it down to a bare bones presentation, I hadn't realized just how much I'd left out!! Haha. (Also I was surprised that I wrote it way back in February.) Then this morning in the car on the way to my exercise class (ah, VT, where you have to drive everywhere, even to get or stay healthy), I started thinking about how I could turn it into a SciFi short story. I'd start it off with something like, "Growing up on Ganymede..."
I'm in a part of PA that requires driving everywhere as well. You're not alone!

I inadvertently ended up moving every three years from age 10 to 31, so I get the nomad thing, even if it started with my parents and then kept going with me. Where I am now is 12 years strong and the longest I've ever been everywhere. Up to two years ago I was grateful for the stability, but lately I've been feeling that urge to uproot and start over.

And I love this house, and I love the neighborhood (minus some new neighbors), but I get it. I totally get it.
Karen 7/3
"If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."
Thank you for sharing that, and your writing is perfect just as it is.

That is a mighty fine compliment coming from you, Robert. Thank you kindly!
Karen 7/3
 

I just ordered "Lost Connections" by Johann Hari. (Thank you, Leela, for the original referral). I get it Sunday. I'm looking forward to reading it. A real book. In my hands. Just because I miss it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I did a thing on Thursday. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, bending over to do some work, for about 10 minutes. I was pretty studious and not really paying attention. When I got up I suddenly felt that my legs were pretty solidly asleep. The right one slightly worse. At first I thought it was hilarious, in that way you pop out of bed to discover your foot is asleep and almost fall over. But this didn't dissipate real well, and now more than 24 hours later, it's still tingling away.

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Well, yikes! Sounds like ya done pinched somethin'! (Thanks, Dr. Knapp.) Are both legs tingly? I know you said the right one was worse. Is it still like that? Eeeeeek!

Curious what Annie Mollo has to say about this. She's all smart n' knows bodies n' stuff.
I got nothin'. There are a million and one reasons for that tingling, and also not knowing anything about Karen's overall health/challenges...

Gentle supports for people who have neuropathy might generally include massage, warm epsom salt baths, and acupuncture.

And no matter what ails you, assessing your overall diet for adequate micro- and macro-nutrients is never a waste of time. Even tiny changes in your diet can have big positive effects—iodine is one example of that. Change your intake by mere micrograms and you can feel quite different. But if you're not a big bio sci nerd hobbyist like me, your best bet would be to find a registered dietician whose philosophy encompasses integrative and functional medicine. You could also see a nutritionist, but that title/profession isn't regulated in the same way (or sometimes at all) as a dietician. That said, one of the most brilliant practitioners who ever helped pull me out of a bad-health cesspool was a nutritionist. So YMMV.
Hey girls, sorry for the hit and run post! I'm back. :) I do appreciate the feedback! Yes, it's still tingling and in both legs, but maaaybe slightly improving? I bend over and get a sudden recurrence, and I've seemed to locate a major tingly spot in the groin-ish area?

I'm being uncharacteristically blase about this, I know. I think my recent back surgeries are connected and I'm in a bit of a bad place with that as well, just not feeling the improvements I was hoping for, and then being told the screws could be touching nerves really made me question the point of all of this. (I know I'll eventually settle down but it just makes me uncontrollably emotional right now and my response is to put it in a box until I can breathe).

I didn't get into all this in the post because sometimes I don't want to keep talking about The Stuff I Keep Talking About, but in the end it's really a big part of what is going on with me, so... yeah.

I did the nutritionist route waayyy back in the early days, but definitely need to revisit it. It's possible new information will result after a 10 year period. It's also never bad to eat good, yo. I believe in food as medicine, you are what you eat, etc, but I am often a lousy pharmacist. Thank you for the gentle reminder. <3

Oh, and hot baths are definitely a win! As are good supportive friends. XOXO

Karen 3/28edited
 

I run a very short list (just google calendar invites, actually) for lawn care applications each summer. It's basically a rough guideline for putting down what chemicals and when, if that's your bag, baby. (That's totally my bag, baby.) If you're interested in this, send me your gcal email (via "karona" at youknowwhere) and I'll invite ya. The time to start it is in the next week or two.

I'm a bit of a lawn geek*, so this had started as a hobby and a few folks asked to be alerted. Maybe it's time to admit I have a grass addiction. I make no gaurantees if you are outside of the Southeastern PA area. Actually, I make no gaurantees inside that area, either, accept that I also do what I'm advising you to do, and a bad lawn makes me very crabby*.

Okay, cheers.


*I may have signed up for soil temperature alerts this year.

**Crabgrass joke.

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That's not a bad idea at all. If I had a lawn to take care of, I would absolutely sign up.
Aw, thx. Just something that kinda came about organically (more lawn jokes!)
Karen 3/21
I have a very small patch of grass that desperately needs help. Can you send me the details?
I can send you the invite for the crabgrass prevention. It's really basic, just the name of the recommended lawn product and whether to put it down wet or dry. Maybe a blurb in the notes. I am not sure how many calendar "events" there will be this year, but last year there were about 8, spread out between April and October. I haven't set them all up yet, but if at any time you want to opt out, you can delete them. :)
Karen 3/21
If it weren’t for crabgrass, I wouldn’t have any grass at all. (Rimshot)
Yep that was us growing up. And dog poo. Good times. ;)
Karen 3/21
Can you send me an invite? I am fascinated.
Absolutely. I only have the first item up, there will be about a half dozen more from now til Octoberish.
Karen 3/21
 

It feels oddly quiet since New Year's, and I am not complaining. I think we're all taking a collective sigh and switching off. I came off with a Christmas Cold so I'm doubly glad for the peace. It feels so odd though, coming off the holiday buzz. And this must happen every year but this year is the first "normalish" feeling year for me in a while so I guess I'm noticing it again. (I said off too many times. Semantic satiation. Also, cold medicine.)


Peace.

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Yeah. It _was_ pretty quiet. I even got snowed out today. Weather was just supposed to be overcast, but by the time I got to York, the snow started coming down. So I turned around and came home.

Which actually worked out great because I got an order for my largest (volume of illustrations, not money) single paying illustration gig ever. I then proceeded to knock out 5 of the 39 required drawings.

All of which is probably more info than you were looking for, but it's 12:30am so _of course_ I'm wired...
Wired and tired. My M.O. as well. Very glad to hear about the new biggest project, and the exceptional jump start you got on it. Way to hit the ground running! xoxo
Karen 1/9edited
Mass bed-in seems to be the only solution to the January doldrums.
Bed-in is not a term I run across often, but that is exactly the right one. I'm doing more of it, even after I'm well again.
Karen 1/9
January has been a great bed-in so far. But then again, so was 2018. Highly recommended. :-)
 

Your kind responses to my short Dec 10 pain-post were recieved with gratitude even though I didn't respond. I sorta went into hidey-mode for a bit.

Wanted to update that I got a very nice Christmas gift of muuuch lighter pain for the four days surrounding Xmas, which was so random and wonderful that I'm going to go ahead and thank you all for the good mojo.

Have a goofy cat photo.

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12/27 '18 16 Comments
Glad to hear there was a time of lighter pain.
Robert Bryan 12/27 '18
Thank you, Robert. You are so kind.
Karen 12/29 '18
That cat’s not goofy!

Well, okay, yeah. Maybe he is. :P
He's a total derp. Just check out today's Instagram.

(@karonagram if you're reading this and want to find me.)
Karen 12/29 '18
Directions unclear. Put goofy cat in ugly sweater.
Ray Conrad 12/27 '18
Tail caught in ceiling fan?
Karen 12/29 '18
You see, that sort of video, which I will discourage and remonstrate for being animal abuse, also makes me laugh.

I'm a bad person.
Ray Conrad 12/29 '18
No, really, you're just honest about your dark humor. ;)
Karen 12/30 '18
Yay for lighter pain!
How did you convince the cat to wear that?
No convincing. He is actually an alien disguised as a cat who will let you dress him, walk him, pick him up, and let you touch his paws *and* his belly, all while purring. >'-'<
Karen 12/29 '18
Obviously not a cat. Have you considered it's an alien doing a poor cat impersonation to gather information on humans?
Ray Conrad 12/29 '18
I often suspect that, but every now and then he does something so truly cat-derpy that I wonder at his amazing acting abilities. He rolled off the bed in his sleep last week, for instance.
Karen 12/30 '18
Karen 12/30 '18
What's really missing from the picture is the completely doofy striped pant legs it has. The cat's, not Roger's. (Well, also Roger's, but those were a gift from my mom so it's allowed.)
Karen 12/30 '18
So glad you had a little relief.
Leela 12/27 '18
Aw, yes. You know the gift this is. Thank you, sunshine. <3
Karen 12/29 '18
 

A mammoth of an eerily silent great horned owl swooped down in front of us while driving down a small winding road towards my house the other night. It was a ghost of a creature floating in front of us for a few seconds, giant and mysterious, until it angled up effortlessly to the top of a nearby pine tree.

I could not tell you for the life of me what either of us had been nattering on about when we saw it, but it stopped our noise in its tracks. Even now, thinking about it, I can see its eye as it turned its head slightly, just to catch us by the corner, before it looked away again.  I can feel the dead quiet awe that came over me, bringing a veil of calm.

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12/16 '18 4 Comments
That is awesome! I've never come across owls during my travels, but I _have_ had moments like this while on the road. There's really pretty much nothing like those silent moments. So cool!
Exactly.
Karen 12/18 '18
Dude, that’s amazing.

WHYY had a news item recently about snowy owls showing up at the Jersey Shore this winter, which apparently happens in years where there’s a prey shortage in Canada. Maybe you’ll see more owls this year.
More owl sightings would be so lovely. Majestic bird. I can see why they are thought of as wise now.
Karen 12/18 '18
 

The chronic pain is really getting to me today.

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12/10 '18 5 Comments
Sorry hon. Hoping it fades quickly.
No bueno.
Anne Mollo 12/10 '18
I’m really sorry.
I don’t know if this will help, but it pairs well with lying back and closing your eyes.

https://www.woodenovercoats.com/

Hope you're feeling better today.
Ray Conrad 12/11 '18
Faaaack. I'm really sorry, beb. I hope this particular round passes soon.
 

I've got a wasps's nest in my deck post, possibly under the vinyl as well. I've got guests coming in a week and a half, specifically to hang on my deck.

Terminix wants $199 to remove it and a hard push of endless requests for yearlong service (it was $299 originally, but if you pause for a beat, it suddenly drops to $199, which is still too rich for my sensibilities, damnit!) I've dealt with all my own bugs in the past, and also I like my money, so we are attempting to kill it ourselves. The first attempt will be a foaming spray from 20 feet away.

I can't possibly see anything going wrong with this.

We couldn't find it at Blue Box Store last night so Rog is going to get it from Orange Box Store today. In the meantime I put out a trap bag for wasps last night. I looked at this morning: nothing. Crap.


[EDITED, Friday, Aug 31]

I did it! Actually, Rog did it before I even woke up this morning. A $2.49 can of foaming spray from Dries (thank you small local business) did it in one shot. Damn Terminix for upping my stress level. I was just concerned about the distance this time, and my inability to really run. Yellowjackets are f*%ing vicious. Though I've killed small paper wasp nests several times already, for some reason this nest seemed so much more active and harder to spray and get away from safely!

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8/30 '18 7 Comments
Flamethrower.
Burn it all down. It's the only way to be sure. (Oh wait, that's spiders.)
Karen 8/31 '18
"The first attempt will be a foaming spray from 20 feet away."

I've done it countless times over the years. That first attempt will probably be all you'll need. It's no big, and it's sure as shit not $199 big!

(I know you already will, but I still have to say it: just be sure to clean up well since the Lil' Man likes to sit out there with you...)
Matt Lichtenwalner 8/31 '18edited
I did it! Actually, Rog did it! Update in post. And THANK YOU.
Karen 8/31 '18
Yay!
So glad you got this handled! I’d probably let spray again I’m a few days, just for good measure.
Leela 9/3 '18
Thank you! Yes, we've had to do a couple applications, but so glad it's handled. Unnecessary stress.
Karen 9/4 '18
 

Whoa, am I having a bit of an emotional day today. Bear with me, I'm trying to get the world framed right again. I think this particular time is the result of the prolonged bed rest (four weeks!) and a migraine last night followed by insomnia. I could ride it out silently, or I could write to you guys and maybe get a good process going.

I was in the middle of some paperwork I have to take care of once a year. This is the sixth year. It has to do with my work and health, so it's already a touchy subject. While looking through the massive pile of unfiled documents that is now my harddrive (thank you iTunes fiasco), I stumbled upon some emails I wrote to a very close female coworker, exactly 16 years ago today. We thought we were so clever and witty. We lovingly called each other bitch. I have to laugh. We were the youngest at Stanley Vidmar by 15 years in our respective departments, hers sales, mine engineering. I can't imagine what the others thought of us, and I'm so glad I didn't know.

But then I realized, 16 years ago today, I had a successful career, a very active lifestyle, a fiancé, an upcoming wedding, and had just returned from a trip to Jamaica. From where I stand right now, if I looked just right, it seemed like such a stark contrast to now.

I was looking out the bedroom window at another sunny day when the tears hit me. Lots of tears. So I wrote a long, private, journal entry to myself, outlining my woes today (thank you OPW), and then I went back and looked at more of the emails. And I discovered not a month later I was leaving Stanley during another sweep of layoffs.


And I remembered how stressed I was, with the axe dropping almost every Friday. And the three bosses, and the unending overtime, and the list of 21 open projects, each of them unironically labeled top priority. And the tears then, too. So many tears.

And that I started my housecleaning business not long after, and which then became my favorite job ever for the next ten years. A business that got me through a divorce, a health diagnosis, a lost beloved pet, and someone totaling my car. A business that found me a best friend, a bevy of new people in my life, amazing adventures, and eventually a wonderful man who loves me.


I've lived alone for 10 years, fiercely independent. I've had to give up the independence due to health, but I think I accidentally gave up the fierceness, too. And now I may or may not be on the cusp of giving up the alone part. (Or really, I already have and it scares the hell out of me.) On top of that, everything that's happened since last fall is still fairly recent. It really hasn't been that much time yet. I've since filled my time with a renewed relationship, a wonderful vacation, and more recently, back surgery that may improve my quality of life, yet here I sit suddenly reeling from the weight of loss and laughingly not knowing why. Oh, dear.

So, how do I keep my chin up? I'm prone to realism, not optimism. I can't change my stripes in that regard, so I have to work within the pattern. How do I frame this period of time so that I don't keep feeling so lost whenever I'm alone with myself, in this bed? Because I am definitely more than a little lost right now.

Thoughts on what the future might bring are great, but the days are long right here and now, and I'm pretty painfully chained to the right here and now. I've already made the first step by writing it all out and gathering my thoughts, but I could use some help, or just some connection from you guys, to ground me a little today. At the moment, it's difficult just getting up and making food, if that gives you an idea of my mobility levels. So, tell me anything, or tell me nothing at all. Just say hi.

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Did you know that tomato soup with popcorn is really tasty?
Like, in it? Considering that I have tomato almost every day of my life, I feel I've been missing out on something pretty important.
Karen 4/6 '18
Yup. Like instead of crackers or bread or something. Sprinkled on top. Or, in my case, thrown in by the handful.
Good Christ, I must try this thing. Do you have anymore simple food hijacks like this? You played into my here and now very nicely. <3
Karen 4/6 '18edited
Yeah, not going to lie. That sounds kinda wonderful.
It is stupidly delicious. Smartfood popcorn works well with it.
Well that makes sense. Smartfood Popcorn is my crack cocaine.
Karen 4/12 '18
Okay. If you’re too tired to chop, don’t take this one on, unless you can get pre-chopped veggies or outsource the labor to a sturdy young lad/lass. Otherwise, add cheese and this is delicious.
https://www.thugkitchen.com/roasted_chickpea_broccoli_burrito
My favorite part: "Take it out of the oven, don’t fucking burn yourself..."
Karen 4/12 '18
Mine too. :)
 

Three and a half weeks out from surgery, and I feel a little like I'm waking up from a coma (again? do I use this description a lot?). It's been nice to read up on OPW after a long day of washing my bedsheets. Yeah, it took all day. Still gotta stop and lay flat down quite a bit.

Now if only I could reach my legs to shave them. There is nothing like freshly shaved legs on freshly laundered sheets. Amirite, girls? Girls who shave?

I'm off the percocet which means my mobility is a little more limited now, and that means a lot more time on my back than even the week before, but it's worth it to be able to kiss that medication and it's side effects goodbye. I was on pretty heavy doses this time, so I'm still sweating like a fat man. And the insomnia is pretty full-on without the help of Benadryl. We're all (middle-age-ish) grownups here so I CAN say how nice it is to be able to poop again. The mood swings can go fuck right off, though. It's only been a week, but that's by far the worst part.

I do want to say that if you're hearing less from me, its usually (not always, but for right now, yes) a sign that things are pretty decent. *Sigh* even good, though I feel like I jinx myself when I say that. I am unfortunately one of those journalers who usually only writes when something bad is going down. It's a good release for bouts of depression, but I forget to come back and here and let folks know my life is more than just these journal entries.

So, let's see. I have a good thing going with a great guy, and we are already doing that thing where we have so much fun together we end up just not ending the date. Let's go do nothing together, it's amazing. These things don't come along every day, so I'm thoroughly enjoying it and hoping the newness feeling stretches out for a good long time. I feel like a lucky girl. :)

What else. Well, I am 3.5 weeks out of surgery, which means I'm 2.5 weeks closer to taking the back brace off. And driving. And maybe doing some light, light, liiiiiight gardening. (How does one garden without bending/lifting/twisting? I shall find out.) That time went by a lot faster than I was expecting. I expect the next 2.5 weeks to go pretty nicely too. Still too soon to know if the surgery worked, so I can't answer that, but I look forward to Spring yard stuff to distract me until I do.

I learned that laughing really does drop pain levels. This has caused me to ask everyone around me for their favorite jokes. There are too many to repeat here, but here are two favorites:

Q: "What is brown and sticky?"

A: "A stick".  (This one makes me laugh before I can even finish it, because I'm a dork for stupid jokes like this. I just made you think of poop!)

Q: "What is the difference between pink and purple?"

A: "The grip." (Buwahahahah, naughty. Thank you Roger and Harold.)

The best was Roger's 80-year-old mother telling me a joke that involved her saying the word "testicles" several times:

A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"

Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

The ward nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught so she marches over to inquire what is wrong.

"Nurse," he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"

Being a nurse she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes and announces, "Nothing is wrong with them."

At this the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again,

"Are my test results back?"

I will never forget my shock and joy at hearing the words "Are my testicles black?" come from her mouth. Ha! That made my back feel better for a good while!

Anyway, where was I. So, yes, nice to come back to earth and catch up with you guys. Thanks for the lovely prose. <3


Much love,

Your Biggest Fan,

Karen


p.s. - I'm forgetting myself and commenting on old posts. Oops!

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Moar later, but for now:

(This joke is best when told by a small child.)

Child: "How do you catch a unique bird?"

Listener: "I don't know - how?"

Child: "Unique up on it!"

Child (again): "How do you catch a TAME bird?"

Listener: "I don't know - how?"

Child: "The TAME way - UNIQUE up on it!"

Thank you. Thank you. I won't be here all week.

(Glad you're on the mend.)
Thank you! This is just the kind of ridiculous joke I like to tell grown-ups. :) The more tough-guy they are, the better.
Karen 4/1 '18
Also, I have to agree - when I shave my legs and have fresh, clean sheets...
Pics or GTFO.
Karen 4/3 '18
I forgot about this joke. I've heard it as a tame/unique rabbit. Love it.
That works!
I can't wait to tell my mom the hospital joke.

My grandmother told me this one.
Two little old ladies (LOLs) run into each other at the supermarket. One LOL says to the other, "Ethel, you've got a suppository in your ear."
The other LOL says, "What?"
The first LOL says, "You have a suppository in your ear!"
"Speak up, I can't hear you!"
(this part of the joke goes on for as long as is necessary)
Finally, the second LOL sighs and says, "Oh. Now I know where my hearing aid is."
lol!
This is the perfect kind of response joke for Roger's mother. Thank you.
Karen 4/3 '18
And yes, freshly shaved legs on clean sheets is wonderful.
I'm deciding between breaking out a brand new razor the day the brace comes off, or trying for a semi-romantic teach-the-bf-how-to-do-it moment in the bath. I keep thinking of the shins, though. Ouch ouch ouch.
Karen 4/3 '18
"now I know where my hearing aid is. Speak up!"
As soon as you said it.
I want a game where you guess the joke by the punchline.
Karen 4/3 '18