It's been over a week. I picked up his ashes today, but didn't open the package. I received a memorial something from someone in the mail too, but didn't open that, either.

I did clean and put away all the sick-supplies: the water fountain, the feeding syringe, the meds, the list of symptoms with dates, notes from phone calls with the vet.

His food dish still sits out, filled, as does his water dish. His toys are all over the house. I came *this* close to tossing his litter box out with the trash tonight, but backed out at the last minute.

I keep his little blue hoodie on my bed. I have his first baby toy, a pair of dollar-store shoelaces, tied to the bedpost.

I miss him.

I'm upset that I'm getting used to the silence.

I made a short video of him. My (Roger's) nephew was going to make a longer, more professional one with the full song, but his wife is about to have a baby any minute, so that is probably off the table for a long time. If anyone knows a professional videographer who would take a commission to edit something together for me, please let me know.

Some of you have already seen the video from my Instagram, but the link is below. Sharing it/him makes me feel better.