Lindsay Harris Friel

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The darkness. the gloom. the ennui. the brain clutter. I'm trying to rewrite the article about "grow your audience with surveys." I'm so bored I don't have a pulse rate.
I went into Ted's craft room. he was sitting in front of the computer, listening to Janet Jackson sing "Control." I wouldn't have thought he was a Janet Jackson fan, but hey. I shut the door. 
"Ted, I need you to do me a favor."

"I need you to shake me by the shoulders as hard as possible and scream into my face as loudly as you can." 
"are you sure?"

he shook me by the shoulders and screamed at the top of my lungs until his face was red.  I sliced a finger across my throat, and he stopped, giggling wildly. 

"thank you." 

I'm gonna listen to Jethro Tull's RökFlöte now. Maybe that'll help. 

It’s an effective treatment, but it’s tough to do a double blind study.
Yes. Once you’ve heard the RökFlöte, it cannot be unheard.

I was just writing an email to someone and closing it up with, "as always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions." some part of my brain said "that sounds like it was written by AI." 
and, of course, instantly, I had a wild urge to change it to:

"As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions, and that's no AI! 😃👍🌟"

I might put it in my email signature. 

I love it.
“Was that AI?” Is the new “who farted.”

To make a long story short: is a web or app based service that provides soundscapes that you can play with and adjust, for meditation, sleep, focus, ambience, or whatever need normal humans would have to live in a haunted house (don't you judge me). 

Just go play with it. Use headphones. 


I hope this guy meant to ask this question in our podcasters' community for the same reasons I would, but if he didn't, it's the saddest question I've encountered in all this time of teaching people how to make podcasts. 

"Why would someone want to listen to a podcast when they can find out what they might want to know by asking Bard or Chat GPT4?" 

Why would someone want to hear the live cover of "The Boy With The Thorn In His Side" performed by Belle and Sebastian when they could hear the Smiths' original recording? 

Why do people like different flavors and brands of ice cream?

Why does Lancome L'Absolu Rouge Cream Lipstick in 493 Nuit Parisienne on Lynda Carter's lips look different from Wet n' Wild Silk Finish Lipstick in Just Garnet on Angel Marie Kerrigan's?

If two baseball players with the same batting average go to bat against the same pitcher, do they equally hit the ball as far and as fast? 

Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? 

Vince said,
That's precisely what a bot would say.
I've asked Bard many things, and although the answers are generally serviceable, they lack character, panache, true insight.

LLMs (Large Language Models) can only imagine the shade of lipstick gracing Lynda Carter's lips if someone else had written about it before, and even then that detail would be filtered out as idiosyncratic.

Why read a book when you can read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia? Why, indeed.

Our dog trainer, Amanda, said that we need to put Symone "on a down" more often. This means that when I plan to sit and relax or work, I should put Symone's leash on her and step on the leash. This causes Symone to lie down and relax. 
So now every morning we sit on the front porch while I drink my coffee for about 15 minutes and Symone watches the world go by. If I don't do it right after Vince leaves for work, she runs back & forth to and from the door. 

I had to buy her a special bed for outside. Her favorite part is when the kids next door come outside to leave for school. 

She doesn't bark or anything, she just watches them.  She really likes kids, but she'd jump all over them if we let her. Their faces would be thoroughly licked. 

9/20 '22 3 Comments
Probably someone should step on my leash every once in a while.
It’s the craziest thing, but the trainer and her whole company swear by it. Remove options, and they relax and go to sleep.
You helped me connect some dots. When I try to meditate lately, all I can think about is what I “should” be doing right now, i.e., “you’re so lazy why aren’t you cleaning the litter boxes.” What I tell myself is, you can fo this for ten minutes.
Now what I can tell myself is, your leash is stepped on.

And now: The Virtual Husky Tug Simulator. 

Ever wanted to play tug with a Siberian Husky, but didn't have time? Or a Husky? No more! Now you can pretend to play tug with a husky for a whole ten seconds. Get a simulation of the excitement and danger of the likelihood of hitting yourself in the face with a stuffed moose wrapped around a knotted rope, without bruising!  Raise your heart rate without the possibility of having your fingers nipped! It's ten seconds of fun for the whole family! 

9/14 '22 4 Comments
Love it.
Hey, I just sent you an email. :)
Don't think I got that one.
Weird. I sent it to Tommy b Goode. Is there a Tommy B Goode impostor on the Internet? Raised Eyebrow!

Look out, Rogan! Ted’s brand new podcast is live.

In other news: Symone decided to lie down far from our bed, close to the door. Sort of weird (she usually likes to be close to our bed, or in her own), but maybe it's cooler over there. 

Thrym decided to abandon Vince's lap and go relax with her for a bit. Not a great picture: it's dark-ish and I had to zoom a lot to avoid distracting them. Maybe peace is possible? 

6/12 '22 6 Comments
I really like listening to this! I'm supposed to be doing billing for my client, but I've been joyfully distracted. "If you liked this show, tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell people you like, tell people you hate, tell all the people on the earth about our show." I just finished Episode 1, and I'm gonna take a break to send out some invoices, and then imma devour episode two.

I find it really interesting and neat to hear Ted talk about his experiences, observations, and feelings about autism. He's a neat guy, and you are a glorious chick.
OK, I just did that laugh/cough/snot thing when he said "The Genghis to my Khan." I'm dead.
I know, I was shocked. he actually said it four times to make sure he was saying it right, we had to edit it pretty carefully. and, all four times I was sitting there with my jaw hanging open.
I saw "Wilmington, Delaware" on the Buzzsprout stats, and got all excited. I knew it had to be you.
Subscribed, and very much looking forward to it!
Wheee! Yes! It's like we can be there for you on the road!

Wish I had something more interesting to tell you. Here are some cat pictures. 

More importantly: how are you? 

What's your favorite knock knock joke? 

What's your favorite lightbulb joke? 

Did you know that there's an entire subculture of people who do face painting? 

4/29 '22 3 Comments
I’m dopey today but it’s self inflicted. On my way to see my brother.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.


How many Monty Python fans does it take to change a light bulb?

It’s funny because it’s true!
Once upon a time I was at a party I wasn’t enjoying, but not enough to actually leave. It was a mildly boring party that might improve if given half a chance. A guy wearing a fedora and suspenders arrived, someone announced that he was hilarious, the funniest guy in the world, and the guy proceeded to launch into his own rapid fire repetition of the “what have the Romans ever done for us?” scene from Life of Brian. I say “repetition” rather than “rendition” or “performance,” because it was an emotionless yet otherwise verbatim repeating of the entire scene. Other than its accuracy, the most memorable aspects of this speech was that he did it with two un-ignorable speech impediments.
“… apawt from the thanitathion, the medithine, educathin, wine, public ouadaw, iwigathin, woads, a fresth wataw system, and public health, what have the Woemans ever done for us?”

I left the party very soon after that, silently swearing never to quote Monty Python ever again.

Yet, somewhere, I know that this story would make John Cleese very happy, to know his hard work continues to torture many to this day.

I think we might need to have a talk about The Eileen Fisher Spring Collection. I can't stop thinking about it. 

It's a lot of linen pajama looking stuff. Part of me says, well, yes, this is everything I want to wear when it gets warm out. But, I don't live in a bubble. Are these clothes that will keep me from boiling inside when it's 95 degrees and 95% humidity? Will they hold up while doing apocalypse activities, like growing my own food, tending my chickens, barricading my windows and fighting off bands of roving marauders? Also, those prices make me hyperventilate. But, I'm looking at some of this stuff and thinking, I could make that. 

I think Eileen Fisher needs to accessorize this with a tool belt for apocalypse tasks. yes, the clothing has pockets, but I'm going to need something more robust to hang my gardening tools and weapons. 

I might need to make a Pinterest board for this. 

Does this mean my executive function is bad, or good? Which section of my Eisenhower Matrix do I put this into? Important but not urgent, I guess. 

3/8 '22 5 Comments
I tend to think that linen clothing, all by itself, is apocalyptic. I hate linen. The only time it ever looks great is before you put it on.

There's a category in my head called, "Shit designed for rich people." The alternate title is, "Shit that will enslave you because you're not rich enough to exploit someone else to take care of it." And it's FILLED with stuff like linen, or glass shower enclosures, or intricately carved woodwork. All the things that only look beautiful with constant PITA maintenance.
Truth. I’ve owned a couple of linen skirts that I loved but they always looked like I was wearing a crumpled paper towel.
I'm the voice of dissent here, I love linen and seersucker, the perfect summer fabrics. Both acceptable looking a little wrinkled. Maybe that's part of why I like them. It's possible that they work better for men's clothing though, standards are so much lower.
I mentioned this to Dr. Fig, and she sent me photos of prisoners in Chinese labor camps. But I like feeling all easy breezy & stuff. even if I am wrinkly.
I never knew the source of the urgent-important matrix, that bit of history is an added bonus.