It's October, and Halloween is right around the corner. I haven't painted myself into the corner, but I've had some pretty good Halloween costumes in years past. No easy task for my panoramic physique. I've been assembling elements for this year's costume, but y'all are just gonna have to wait for the big reveal.

My dog, Gna had a tumor removed in March of '18. The biopsy results were that it was an aggressive cancer. And while my vet got narrow margins, with this type of cancer they'd like wide margins. It was located close to her genitals, so there was just no room to get wider margins. This morning I noticed she has another mass in almost the same spot. I'm bringing her in next week for my vet to have a look-see. She's 8-9 as near as we can determine, so it's going to be a judgement call. And there's always a chance that things have gone seriously sideways internally. Today has been really hard, I've been sitting at work torturing myself with what-ifs.

I turned in my submission for my monthly writer's group and I'm really happy with it. I suck at short stories, but this one came in around thirteen pages and just under 4,000 words. The 30,000 foot view is it's a sci-fi/milfic/vampire story that takes a hard left turn into Lovecraftian horror. The writer's group meets on Friday. I'm looking forward at least that far.

That is all, and I think that's enough on my plate for right now.

There's a quiet gearing up to the holidays. And to paraphrase Anne's post, a ripple in the force with the current political climate.

The weather had a sudden shift like a window slamming shut. I ain't even bov'vered. The bright sunny days stopped having an effect on me last month. It was more of a passive noticing, "I should be making the most of this somehow."

Hmm.

I've finally agreed to myself I need a cleaning lady. I've already begrudgingly let someone else do most of the lawn cutting, but the cleaning has been mine for so long, my source of pride. But I have giant gaps where I just can't anymore. I finally broke down and asked a former cleaning client for her maid's number, only to find out she's booked solid. Aargh!! The good ones usually are.

I detest the idea of having to hunt for and vet someone. So back on the backburner it goes.

So a friend sent me a link to The Toolbox Fallacy (the video above).

He sent it saying: "If you're pushing yourself to do Inktoberfest, I figure there's a chance that you aren't where you wanted to be with your art, by this point in your life.

The following 7 minute vid is a potentially impactful one, about how too many of us wait too long and have too many excuses for not taking more action sooner, toward becoming who we want to be."

First, I thought it was very nice of him to try to give me a gentle prod in the right direction.

The tl;dr of the video is "Don't wait until you have the right tools or environment or... whatever. Just do the thing that you love to do." In my case - make art.

I learned something, but it's not what you might think it would be.

I've been aware of what this person calls the Toolbox Fallacy for many years. For me, it's pretty much never about "I have to have X to make Y." In fact, to the contrary, I've spent a non insubstancial amount of time cheerleading others to 'just get started' with whatever they have on hand. Or, at worst, finding something (anything) to 'make it happen'.

It's true that I'm not where I want to be with my art. To grossly oversimplify, where I would like to be is: "Making a significant portion of my income (or possibly all of it) via the sale of art I've enjoyed making."

The reason I'm pushing myself to do Inktober (think NaNoWriMo but art using ink) is because I want to break from my normal digital production. I'm using Inktober to force myself into a 90 degree turn. Okay, so it's maybe more like a 45 degree turn. The point is that it's a different medium, there's a timer running, and it's an intense 'workout' of sorts that I don't normally do. Something like using (as I recently mentioned to Lindsay Harris-Friel ) a reduced color pallet to force yourself to think differently. These sorts of workouts often lead me to some of my best breakthroughs.

"Okay, okay. We get it. You've told us what you didn't learn. Can you get to what you did learn already?"

Fine. Be that way. I'll get to it.

Essentially, I learned two things watching that video:

1. I'm giving folx the wrong impression about the art side of my life. I suspect this is primarilly because right now the majority of the art I'm doing is hidden from most of the world. I'm doing this on purpose (to create a 'big reveal' when our game Conquest! goes live. Still, I need to find a way to share more of what I'm doing. Part of this feels like a social media thing, and I need to do some thinking about it. More to come.
2. It's probably time for a change. I've been doing effectively the same thing with my illustration for... well, probably about 4 decades now. Sure, I've gotten better at the thing I do, but if it hasn't brought me to where I want to be after four frickin decades then maybe I need to change the process / model / product. I'm pretty attached to the (art) process and the product, so maybe it's time to focus on the model. I've spent a lot of time working on character drawings, saying "See what I made? Don't you want me to draw your D&D character for $0.50?!" Just like the guy on the street corner who's asking for a buck, most folks just mumble some excuse and scurry away. The two people a year who actually drop a buck in my offered cap aren't enough to pay the bills. So I need to figure out something to get more work coming in the front door. Here again, I need to do some thinking about this, and I'll post more when I've figured something out.

Stay tuned, True Believers.

A quick (and terrible) collection of the images I've done for Inktober so far.

Top row is the 'standard' Inktober themes. Day 1 was "ring" and Day 9 was 'swing'.

Bottom row is the 'whimsical' list starting with Day 1 "fairy" and Day 8 'sorcery'. I haven't finished Day 9 for the whimsical list. (I'm posting this 10/8 so I'm a day ahead on the 'normal list'.)

"I traveled far and wide
And laid this head in many ports
I was guided by a compass
I saw beauty to the north
I drew the tales of many lives
And wore the faces of my own
I had these memories all around me
So I wouldn't be alone"

From Rose Tattoo by the Dropkick Murphys

Hi!

Sorry I haven't been on OPW for a week or two... was out of town for work and then working on a new music thing. Slowly catching up.

Anyway, I would just like the record to state that we have exactly one spoonful of Anne Mollo ​​'s raspberry jam left, and Matt and I are both fighting over it, and also deciding what final food is "jam-worthy" enough. 

It is (was) heavenly.

People ruin everything.

I totally  would have worn, ironically, a shirt that said, "Save the Planet Eat the Children". But some political fringe case / mental illness sufferer made it go mainstream before I could wear it with a proud smirk.

I guess I'm going to have to go with "Remember, Napalm Sticks To Kids".

Two dogs are better.

We picked Mila up in December and she's a goofball with a short attention span.  We love our very cute and talented Staffords.

2019 is the year that the movie Blade Runner was set in. That is all.

I love how brie, portioned and wrapped in plastic and saved in the fridge, will grow more mould across the newly exposed portions of cheese under the plastic.

​​​​​​​It's alive!

I ate too many grape leaves. I'm having an intense grape leaf craving lately. [Cover your ears, boys.] I'm ovulating and I have no idea if that's involved. [Ears uncovered.] Yeah, I know this is written word.

I'm writing this as I lie sideways on the bed in the period of time where I'm supposed to be sleeping but am nowhere near sleepy-ville yet. It's a place I visit a lot, sans all medicines and potions at the moment. Too much was too much for too long. The cat has passed out in a fuzzy black and white impossible-shaped pretzel. Good for him, my little Boo.

In a happy accident, I see all my lady friends this week. I managed to get booked pretty solid and I just noticed it's my Greatest Hits of gal pals. Pretty nice. Tonight was a little too cool for it, but I sat on the deck with my friends Kathi and Lana. Tomorrow is bracelet making and wine (mostly wine) with Natalie and Cassie, and so on and so forth. I don't get this much in a month sometimes. Whee!

I went to the Celtic Fest on Saturday and it was my first time. I don't know how I missed this all these years, but I'm thoroughly hooked. Men in kilts everywhere. Awwwww yeahhhhh. My guy wore one, too, as he is Scottish and his sister finally got him into one. He went formal-style for the parade, with dress shirt and suit jacket, and dayam does that look work for him. Too hot to maintain though, it was a blistering 80-something degrees with him in wool head to toe, so he switched to the lesser known traditional "What's Under The Kilt?" t-shirt. (Answers below).

Sunday was Arts Fest, and coincidentally a collegiate marching band competition across the way at the local high school stadium. That was incredibly awesome to stumble upon. More so even than the Arts Fest (I dare say). Unfortunately the heat was hammering me so hard I couldn't stay long. A little visiting afterwards and then to bed for the usual battle of the blankets, aka the alligator wrestling contest.

(These grape leaves have sticking power. Whew.)

Okay, rolling onto my back again. The cat grumbles every time I move. I feel like I'm married.

Where was I. Oh, would you like to know What Is Under The Kilt? At least according to USA Kilts?

1. Bagpipes
2. The Earth
3. My Celtic Pride
4. The Loch Ness Monster
5. Socks and Boots
6. MacNuggets
7. Freedom!

There you go. Curiosity satisfied? No? I took a peek. I saw #4.

music: America - "Horse With No Name"

mood: tired but not sleepy