Video screens and plastic letters on signboards are of no importance to the Menumaeads, regardless of the environmental impact caused by their manufacture.  No, they are only interested in actual paper that was made from the substance of once-living trees.  They inhabit these products, somehow, and they consider it their mission to grant the sacrifice of those trees some meaning, however small.  So whenever you are handed a sheet listing the specials of the day along with the everyday favorites, take a moment to listen for the voices of the Menumaeads.  They probably won't curse you for settling on your usual order, but they will appreciate your thoughtful consideration.  Take time to read each and every offering, and maybe choose the one that pleads to you, the one that no one would ever order if it wasn't printed right there in black and white.  The server may even give you a funny look, but it's okay.  Do it for the Menumaeads.

MORE
The Menumaeds will set us free.
Bump bwaaam ba-wanap

Menumaeads, bump ba-dump bump

DAMMIT, BOUTELL
 

Apparently a picture of whales breaching the plains of the American midwest had achieved viral fame, so someone decided to join the fun with a photograph of bison stampeding through the ocean.  While the whale tableau was obviously faked, however, this scene was decidedly real.  The pranksters had imported a small herd and somehow coaxed the thousand-pound animals into Lake Tygart, West Virginia (perhaps because no amount of coaxing could get them into the ocean).  A crowd of onlookers gathered on the shore to marvel at the sight.  That was where I found Thomas Boutell, clutching one of my daughter's stuffed manatees and looking as befuddled as anyone.  Soon people everywhere would be risking life and limb to spoof famous memes without using any editing software.

* No bison were harmed in the making of this dream, but I'm an absolute wreck.

MORE
7/6 '22 3 Comments
... Subtle, Linds. Subtle.

Makes me think of the Mr. Burns play.
 

Apparently I dreamed up an online board game about other powers preying upon Austria.  This description bears some resemblance to Maria,​​​​​​​​​​​​​​(https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/40354/maria)
a game about the War of the Austrian Succession which I have not played. 

And rone, you were there too! 

The preceding has not been a paid advertisement for https://en.boardgamearena.com
​​​​​​which hosts hundreds of non-imaginary board games.  

MORE
1/27 '22 1 Comment
Great success!
 

My change included several hexagonal brass coins that were called pennies after the currency revaluation.  They had collectible reverses, including such states as Hawaii and Antigua.  I had purchased water in comically-small one-ounce bottles.  A teenaged beggar asked me for one of them.

MORE
3/2 '21 1 Comment
"See a penny, pick it up! All day long you'll be a schmuck." — Chris Adams

I went to Antigua once. It was a business trip that thankfully didn't pan out, the whole concept of offshore banking made my skin crawl. The intriguing things were just beyond my grasp on that trip because of the schedule and the company I was keeping. But I did see some sort of traditional British colonial judicial ritual unfold in the street. And at the airport, grasping for an authentic souvenir, I found just one: a sampler of local candy.
 

I dreamed that I was watching hundreds of pages flash before my eyes.  Some had only slight differences from each other, as if they were evidence of the multiple-worlds hypothesis.  When the changes slowed enough for me to get the gist of one article, I memorized the details.  It was written by someone with the unusual name of "Jicknicy" and it was about Penn State athletics in the 1950s.  When I awoke, I actually FOUND that article, and showed it to my wife as proof of my psychic abilities or photographic memory or something.

Except... THAT didn't happen, and when I awoke for real I found only trace references to obscure usernames on sketchy websites.

So... if someone reading this is one level up from me, I'm ready for that kick to wake me up again.

Failing that, you could try identifying the source of these lines that I probably didn't make up entirely, and which Brett also vaguely remembers in this reality:

"Oh, what shall I do?  Oh, where shall I go?  The streets are sloppy and full of snow!  My boots are old and full of feet, and I must face everyone I meet!"

MORE
2/2 '21