I spent most of today randomly crying. Then working on a thing at work which I am perfectly capable of doing and sufficiently informed to do accurately but which felt insurmountable and now I am terrified to share the draft with my colleagues.

I wish I could retire. I wish that my pandemic response was retirement. But I have a couple years still before I can be rejected for Public Service Loan Forgiveness. So I have to keep working.

8/12 '20