Got my CPLP certification today. Has been over a year in the making, and a ton of work. So pleased.

This one's for you, Sean.  (I can't figure out how to link to you so hopefully you see it.) A shot of parts of my burn necklace collection. 

For a light entry before this Flexeril really kicks in and I fall into blissful slumber, I was going to post the five greatest double-takes in film history.

Unfortunately, even though I could have sworn I had a bunch of 'em in mind, right now I can only think of four, and two of 'em barely count as true double-takes. So I'm gonna edit my premise a bit and say these are the Greatest Moments of Sudden Realization in Movie History (or, as I like to call 'em, "Oh Shit" Moments). Every movie, play, and show should have at least one moment where somebody Suddenly Realizes Something and Nothing Is The Same.

Anyway, here's what I got for now. I'll talk around the spoilers, but still...spoilers. (But they're old spoilers, because I'm old.) And except for one or two entries, my list avoids mysteries and movies about people detecting things. But I'd love to make this sucker ongoing, so if you make with the comments, I'll make with the editin'. 

1. Tootsie
The Moment: Charles Durning realizes who's sitting next to him at the bar.

This here's my favorite double-take in film history, because it's so unusual - it's a slow-burn, rather than a quick, bug-eyed take. And it's masterfully done by an incredible actor. I could watch this on a loop.

2. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
The Moment: "You're Welcome."

Jack's face: priceless. 

3. Almost Famous
The Moment: He's HOW old??

Rock star Russell is on the phone with William's mother, thinking he can charm his way into calming her down. William's mother reveals William's age. Russell's reaction is great - his eyes are filled with surprise, and you can see the wheels turning as he processes the information. And best of all, once he hangs up the phone, we realize Russell has decided he doesn't really care how old William is - it's a non-issue. (Maybe that makes his girlfriend's age a non-issue as well? Let's hope so.)

Not that you asked, but Almost Famous is my favorite movie of the 2000s. 

4. Real Genius
The Moment: "Think about it."

The look on Val's ketchup-smeared face as Uncle Rico tells him what he's done gives me chills. Sure, Val built something that will be used for evil, but there's another layer: he suddenly realizes he was so caught up in innovation he didn't even consider the possible application of his creation. That the movie doesn't spell that second part out for you is a testament to its own genius. Oppenheimer probably went through the same thing. 

5. Usual Suspects
The Moment: Hey! That was my favorite mug, dude!

So over-the-top. So great anyway. 

6. The Godfather, Part 2
The Moment: "Johnny Ola told me about this place"

All Michael does is move his eyes. It's enough.

7. Diggstown
The Moment: <adjusts tie>

It's tough to be conned by a Big Reveal these days. We know all the tricks and the clues. We've seen The Sting. But Diggstown - a brutal, smart, shameless, wonderful little movie that deserved a much bigger audience than it found - succeeds in conning us, and it is beautiful. And it works because it plays fair. We shoulda seen it coming. We didn't. 

8. The Crying Game
The Moment: Oh, stop. You know what moment I'm talkin' bout.

Might not be fair to include this one - Stephen Rea doesn't exactly figure out the twist so much as have it shoved in his face (literally). But Rea does wonderful work here. On our first viewing, we're probably a little too stunned to notice (I accidentally learned the reveal before seeing the movie, so I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty sure I would have been fooled), but imagine everything Rea's character is going through at that moment, and note how well Rea conveys it all by downplaying. 

9. Jackie Brown
The Moment: Ordell figures it out

I'm cheating, because there's no reveal, and the realization isn't sudden. But I'm including it because Tarantino shows us something we never see in a movie: a character taking a moment to think. Ordell, framed so we less than half his face, turns his head and closes his eyes for 20 seconds before coming up with his answer. Ordell's tendency to think he's smarter than he actually is gets played for laughs in most of the movie; here, it turns out he's just smart enough. (Skip to 2:50 to see the moment.)

10. Primal Fear
The Moment: Heeeeeey. Wait a minute.

This one barely made my list. The twist is nifty, but the moment of revelation deserves a bigger impact than the movie provides. The problem is Norton's giveaway line. It's a little too giveaway - the audience processes the twist before the bulb goes off over Richard Gere's head, and that's all wrong. But the style is just so shameless - there's a close-up of Gere literally stopping in his tracks - that we allow it to work anyway. How can we be mad at a movie so eager to please us a great "oh shit" moment? 

So that's what I got. But I know I'm forgetting some great ones. Whadda YOU got, Wonders?

I've been running for fitness and fun, lately. At the beginning of November, I plan to attempt a half-marathon (13.1 miles.) I'm feeling pretty good about my chances of completing it before they close the course (3:30 hours).

Things I am no longer worried about:

• Being mechanically able to run 13.1 miles. I ran 6 miles yesterday, and 7 today. It hurts a lot now, but I figure if my joints and soles can take it over the course of 26 hours, they'll do fine over the course of 4 hours.

Things I'm still freaking out about:

• Being aerobically able to run 13.1 miles. I've never run more than 8 miles at once, and it seems silly to run a half-marathon in training to find out if I can complete a half-marathon.
• How hilly the course will be. I went a different way, this morning's run, and ended up on a much hillier road than normal. (Somehow, it escaped my attention that a road named "Hillcrest" would actually be hilly.)
• How cold it will be. This morning and last, it was 55F, and I did fine with it, but much colder than that and I'll have to rethink my wardrobe.
• Injuring myself sometime in the next two weeks. Every time I get any twinge of anything in my shins, I freak out about shin splints. I had them once when I was in high school, and I'm terrified of getting them again. I'm doing a good job of not overtraining, but I can't help but feel like I'm betraying myself when I force myself back to bed at 5am because today is a rest day and I'm going to rest if it kills me.
• Pooping. I spent this morning reading "I pooped myself while running" horror stories, and didn't really learn anything except oh my god that's horrifying.

Self-Titled

Self-Titled is the debut album from All the Feels.  It is a showcase of poststructuralist retromodern techno, and earned the band critical raves from mainstream and indie media.  The band funded the record by using embedded micropayment malware in their torrent seeds, a technique later outlawed by the World Congress.

Track listing

• 1. Opening Track (9:27)
• 2. Title Track (3:33)
• 3. Instrumental Introduction (5:42)
• 4. The Title of This Track Is Almost As Long As the Track Itself (27:11)
• 5. You Can't Write "Eponymous" Without "Pony" (6:59)
• 6. Single Edit (11:17)
• 7. Dub Remix (1:17)

All tracks written by All the Feels

Produced by All the Feels

Pasta with roasted red bell pepper sauce. Holy smokes, this is delicious. I would make this often even if I could eat tomato sauce.

Pizza topped with caramelized onions, daiya cheese, or pumpkin sauce. Also, beer crust pizza. Daiya is a bit miraculous; their shredded "cheese" product doesn't contain a single thing I can't handle, although some of their other products contain carrageenan. (As you may have noticed, I can eat gluten, but a lot of items on this list don't involve wheat.)

Cannelini bean salad with green olives. You'd think a dude with a limited number of food choices would remember the ones he has. Nope, I keep forgetting about olives.

Coconut milk curry with grape must, sherry vinegar and other delicious things in place of soy sauce. Some variations: pumpkin and squash curries.

Amy's California Veggie Burgers. These are made with pea protein rather than soy protein. They are not as fake-meaty, but that's a plus in my book. Those who can't handle gluten should consider Amy's Sonoma Burger, which is made with quinoa instead and is also tasty.

Homemade ethiopian served on real injera. I can't touch most of what's served in an actual ethiopian restaurant because of my citrus allergy, but injera— the flat bread on which it is served— is fine. And I am blessed with a remarkable wife who's good at cooking up ethiopian.

Coconut lentil dhal. Homecooked Indian is another really good bet.

Coconut milk pumpkin pie. Omnivores love this stuff too. Another score on Roberta's part.

Mi-Del ginger snaps. Geddoudameway! Geddaway from me snaps!

Crow. Mmm-mmm, delicious crow. I am forced to eat it often.

This is from my adaptation of  The House at Pooh Corner.

Christopher Robin (CR): A child. Innocent in the ways of the world but the master of the realm of his imagination. While CR is off-stage more often than not, he often provides solutions to the problems of the others. 

Winnie the Pooh (Pooh): A bear. Gentle, creative, gregarious, a little proud. Doesn't rely on intellect so much as intuition. Easily confused. Lives in the moment. Loves to sing and make up poetry on the spot.

Piglet: A small pig. Timid, unsure, anxious, and yet quite smart and determined when circumstances press. Pooh and Piglet are boon companions and have adventures together more often than separately.

Rabbit: A rabbit. A self-important busybody tending to rush about and try to do too many things at once. Generally a good sport and eager to please those who treat him well, but does have a bossy, manipulative streak.

Eeyore: A donkey. Irritable, melancholic, sarcastic, sometimes fatalistic and often demonstrating low self-esteem. When alone, Eeyore usually seems happy, and he is often found doing kind things for others. 

Tigger: A young tiger. The newest member of the company, he's excitable, inexperienced, very (almost too) friendly and desperately wants to be accepted and seen as a worldy adventurer. He tries way too hard.

Owl: An owl. He was wise and smart at one time but has aged into a parody of himself; imagine perhaps an old great uncle, once proud and strong, but now muddled. Pompous and wordy, not belligerent. 

Kanga: Parent kangaroo. A kind & tolerant caregiver, kindly watching over Roo and the other smaller animals. Adopts Tigger early on.

Roo: Young kangaroo. Roo loves to play and is full of joy and wonder.

Narrator: Introduces chapters and provides context.

On gender: the story is about a child and a bunch of stuffed animals. I’m confident that gender is irrelevant in this context. Go ahead and cast any role in any gender presentation, and change any gendering words in the script as you see fit.

If you cast a female Christopher Robin and want to portray her as female, feel free to alter the name to suit, perhaps choosing Christobel, Christophine, Christienne or Christiana.

In my staged reading this past August, we had a male Kanga; and female Roo, Rabbit and Piglet, and we'd have had a female CR, Eeyore and Owl also if my first choice actors had been available. 

I'm so glad I risked rain and biked to work today. The ride home was gorgeous. I briefly stopped to take off my overshirt and by the time I was done, the clouds had shifted and one orange tree suddenly looked like it blazed into flames. I stayed for a moment and watched before putting myself in motion again.

We're going to Asia in 5 days. One week in Korea, one week in Taiwan where dan has a conference, bringing us up to November by the time we get back. Yikes. My brain being my brain, I am discovering there are a lot of OMG critical things. Some of which are, um, not critical.

I will leave some things un-done as much as I'd like. That's OK. I just have to keep telling myself that.

I will, however, advance vote in our municipal elections, and we will submit a vote in our building's annual election of a board of directors, and I will meet the work committments I promised to various people.

And I will, Monday morning, leave behind things that are less than done. They will wait until November. And that's OK.

I'm also grateful for a few nudges from friends that have made me examine how I deal with things that might cause lots of anxiety. It's a work in progress, but that, too, is OK.

I've seen this in a few places, and I have some thoughts. Give me a second to climb onto my soapbox.

• At first, it's cute. Dude rocking out to some disco-y tunes with his dog. Fun.
• Then it's funny - the dog gives his "I will fuck your shit up, yo." look.
• The End.

But what is pretty much the first thing I think when I see this video?

This asshole is recording with his phone, dancing, and paying attention to his dog when he should be paying attention to the god damn road!

Yes, I drive for a living, and so that makes me a little more focussed on this sort of thing, but really? In this era where we poke so much fun at people for paying too much attention to their phones that there's a sitcom based on the idea?

The dog should follow through.

Per Lindsay's request...

I'm afraid to go for a ride on my bike alone in my neighborhood. 

I'm afraid of drivers, unsafe routes, potential muggers and bike thieves. 

I'm going to go drive to run errands now, and it makes me feel like a jerk to burn gas to drive about 5 miles round trip. 

What's your favorite font?