Banned Christmas Songs 12/26 '18
Since Scottish Parliament banned gingerbread men and Baby It's Cold Outside is now Persona Non Grata, these songs will be next on the chopping block.
1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: Subjecting minors to softcore porn. Heteronormative. Underage incestuous voyerism.
2. The Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriation.
3. Holly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advances.
4. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas: Animal abuse.
5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom/Stalker.
6. Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depression.
7. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Bullying.
8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and Ben.
9. Santa Baby: Gold digger, blackmail.
10. Frosty the Snowman: Sexist; not a snow woman, assumes the gender of Frosty. Religious anarchist; knows he's going to die and ignores the police. Confident he'll be resurrected.
11. Do You Hear What I Hear: Blatant disregard for the Hearing Impaired
12. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Make the yuletide GAY? Wow, just wow.
13. Jingle Bell Rock: Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet: Animal abuse.
14. Mistletoe and Holly: Overeating, folks stealing a kiss or two? How did this song ever see the light of day?
15. Winter Wonderland: Parson Brown demanding they get married…forced partnership.
16. I’ll Be Home For Christmas: Not if you are homeless. That’s just Insensitive.
17. Grandma got ran over by a reindeer: Homicide. Extremely violent and promotes alcoholism.
18. All I Want for Christmas Is You: Insensitive to people suffering from Obsessive Compulsive behavior.
19. Deck the Halls; Don we now our GAY apparel. HOLY SHIT!
20. Dominick the Donkey; Ethnic sterotyping, reinforcing gender stereotypes, animal abuse. It's a trifecta!
21. Fairytale of New York; Drops F-Bomb (the gay one; and it’s NOT “fairy”); Promotes ethnic stereotypes. Slut shaming.
22. Do They Know It's Christmas?; White supremacist. Paternalistic. What? Africans can't save themselves?
Gleefully stolen from various sites on the interwebz and compiled here.