Although several of his brethren met their ends in the Dungeons of Doom, this particular Ferret the Wizard had the most enviable of starts.  He found a wand of wishing in the very first room!  That provided very fine armor, an artifact weapon, and some much-appreciated safety from accidental death or dismemberment.  His next bit of luck was a pair of +3 gauntlets of power for sale in Asidonhopo's general store.  Sadly, his cat Bippy was killed by an ettin mummy at the bottom of the Gnomish Mines.  Rest in peace, Bippy.  Apart from some slight brain damage, everything went pretty smoothly after that.  He learned lots of cool spells, which made many aspects of dungeon life more convenient.  He found the correct high altar on the first try, and wished for some extra dilithium crystals before leaving this plane of existence.  A new favorite funny message:  "The xan nuzzles against your right leg!"  Aw!

Goodbye Ferret the Demigod...

You went to your reward with 3321912 points,
Magicbane (worth 3500 zorkmids and 8750 points)
The Candelabrum of Invocation (worth 5000 zorkmids and 12500 points)
The Book of the Dead (worth 10000 zorkmids and 25000 points)
Ogresmasher (worth 200 zorkmids and 500 points)
Trollsbane (worth 200 zorkmids and 500 points)
Orcrist (worth 2000 zorkmids and 5000 points)
Sting (worth 800 zorkmids and 2000 points)
Werebane (worth 1500 zorkmids and 3750 points)
The Eye of the Aethiopica (worth 4000 zorkmids and 10000 points)
The Bell of Opening (worth 5000 zorkmids and 12500 points)
      14 jasper stones (worth 7000 zorkmids),
      10 garnet stones (worth 7000 zorkmids),
       9 dilithium crystals (worth 40500 zorkmids),
       8 topaz stones (worth 7200 zorkmids),
       8 amethyst stones (worth 4800 zorkmids),
       7 jade stones (worth 2100 zorkmids),
       6 rubies (worth 21000 zorkmids),
       6 jacinth stones (worth 19500 zorkmids),
       6 sapphires (worth 18000 zorkmids),
       6 emeralds (worth 15000 zorkmids),
       6 jet stones (worth 5100 zorkmids),
       5 amber stones (worth 5000 zorkmids),
       4 turquoise stones (worth 8000 zorkmids),
       4 aquamarine stones (worth 6000 zorkmids),
       4 agate stones (worth 800 zorkmids),
       3 opals (worth 2400 zorkmids),
       2 diamonds (worth 8000 zorkmids),
       1 black opal (worth 2500 zorkmids),
       1 citrine stone (worth 1500 zorkmids),
       1 chrysoberyl stone (worth 700 zorkmids),
       7 amulets of life saving (worth 1050 zorkmids),
       1 amulet of magical breathing (worth 150 zorkmids),
and 0 pieces of gold, after 68101 moves.
You were level 30 with a maximum of 470 hit points when you ascended.

July of 2020, in what seeked then like the middle of the pandemic (though now it seems like early days) we traded in our old Grand Am for a minivan, a GMC Acadia (which model name I include here in the hopes that I will remember it--I keep getting it wrong). Still used, and we got it at one of those dealerships that gets a lot of used car trade-ins, not a GM dealer.

This may have been the first time in a while that we were trading in a still-drivable vehicle; more often it would have broken down or gotten written off after an accident or something. With two fully-grown children (and one still growing) the back of the sedan had been getting way too cramped on the still-periodic long highway trips.

At the time I'd been working from home for months, and wasn't anticipating going back to work anytime soon.  It got a weekly drive to the grocery store, and my wife would drive to look after/visit her dad during his decline from Parkinson's. (He passed away a few months ago.)

Not too long after we got it, it started giving us a message indicating the ABS system (and "Stabilitrak", whatever that was) wasn't working.  It didn't seem like a big deal; although we do live in a place that gets periodic Real Winter, we'd never had ABS before and made up for it by just driving more cautiously. (I also don't switch to winter tires, which makes me some kind of a kook in these parts. Yeah, well, I don't drive over the speed limit either.)

I got lured back into the office a month or so ago, and so of course I've been driving a lot more (it's still only a 15-20 minute commute, at least).  When it got cold a few weeks ago, our tire pressure sensors started going off, and so I took it in to the dealership where we bought it to have them checked.  They seemed to think that the pressure had just gotten a bit low and the temperature drop had exacerbated it.  They topped up the pressure, no problem.  But while I was in there, I decided to make an appointment to get them to look at the ABS thing.  That was today.

After all that...no, their technician can't actually diagnose it because this is a Chrysler dealership and apparently the system on this GM vehicle is not cooperating with their sensors. Sigh. Oh, well. Maybe sometime in the next few years we'll see about taking it to a GM place. (There aren't any on the way to work, of course.)

At least I got the oil changed. Normally I'd go to one of those drive-through places, but the nearest one has leaned into the "putting on winter tires" service, and when the "Change Oil" light came on was just after the first snow so the lineups were ridiculous. I grumbled that what I really wanted was somebody to come pick up the car while I was at work, do the oil change, and bring it back before the end of my day. It wasn't quite that convenient (I got home an hour later than usual and still have some time to work off) but I guess it wasn't too bad.

Car ownership can be kinda stupid, but it's part of the culture up here. Which of course means our bus system is pretty crappy. And I feel like Alberta will be the last place in the world to abandon gasoline-powered vehicles. So I'll cope with what we've got. Maybe one day we'll go to EV or hybrid or whatever. But this is not that day.

GORAN is governed by a military junta that has promulgated a thoroughly depressing ideology.  There is no Gorannic science whatsoever, because any search for truth would be superfluous.  The truth is whatever the Army of Goran says it is.  Outsiders might remark that the planet is heavily polluted, but that would conflict with the official definition of those "pollutants" as
beneficial nutrients essential to a healthy life.  What is "health", anyway?  It's most evident when one is covered with weeping sores that keep the body's fluids exposed to the fine fresh air of Goran's superlative atmosphere.  Surely people from across the galaxy are clamoring to immigrate, but impenetrable border defenses serve to keep Goran Gorannish.

UJJAIN is comprised of fertile high mesas surrounded by even more lush jungles in the valleys below.  Populations are well-established in the uplands, but the jungles are unfortunately dominated by thorny vegetation called "dardbelen".  This plant secretes an oily substance that is intensely painful to touch, and potentially lethal if enough is absorbed into the bloodstream.  There are no heavy industries on Ujjain, and efforts to clear away the dardbelen with tools or fire have proven counterproductive.  Dardbelen is always the first thing that grows back, usually in thicker concentrations without other competition.  Ujjani have unanimously agreed not to attempt poisoning the land, for fear of causing an even worse catastrophe.  So they live in their safe high settlements where the dardbelen does not reach, and communication between mesas is uncommon.  Once in a great while someone will make the arduous journey, though.  They are invariably treated as brave heroes by their new homelands, for none ever choose to return to their place of origin.

HENSEKISHIKI is a world that has completely specialized in advertising.  Very little is actually manufactured there, but Hensekishikians travel throughout the galaxy to sell the products and services of other planets.   They take advantage of the rarity of inter-ship communication to make unexpected contact whenever possible.  None would stoop so low as to broadcast a false distress beacon, but it violates no spacer's code to transmit greetings on open channels.  A typical conversation might start with "Hello?  Can anyone hear me?" and proceed to "Thank the Star Maker!  It's been so long since I've spoken to anyone!  The only thing that's kept me sane throughout this long voyage is this great new game called Meditations on Orla.  It starts out with simple pattern matching, but as you level up..."  The heavily-indentured Hensekishikians are mostly pitied rather than disliked, and their efforts are profitable enough to keep the home planet's enterprise a going concern.

He's the hack from Mar-a-Lago
(Little Donald, Little Donald)
told his workers, "No te pago"
(Little Donald, Little Donald)
He thought big, he was optimistic
(Little Donald, Little Donald)
They didn't know he was narcissistic
Little Donald rants on the big stage
(Little Donald, Little Donald)
What he says doesn't make no sense

Sometimes people can be oh so dense
He didn't want it but he won it anyway
(Little Donald, Little Donald)
Little Donald stands in the White House
(Little Donald, Little Donald)
What he says don't make sense
What he says doesn't make no sense
(Little Donald, Little Donald)
Little Donald stands at a rally

Oh Donald John Trump I see you behind
The barred door of federal prison

ARTEMISIA is a wealthy outer rim democracy with contractual ties to the Takatsuki sector.  Under its constitution, all citizens are entitled to vote and to share in the profits of the planet's nationalized industries.  The definition of a citizen expansively includes any native-born organic lifeform capable of completing the registration forms, and assistive technology is permitted.  It was understood that young children and even some intelligent non-humans would hence be eligible, but this was forseen as admirable.  What was not forseen was the scheme by a certain genetic engineer to uplift local bacteria and equip them with robotic bodies.  By working in secret and then sending his creations to multiple government centers, he was able to get many of them recognized as citizens by clerks both credulous and skeptical.  An emergency constitutional convention was convened before these bacteria-robots actually outnumbered the rest of the Artemisians, but by law it was not permitted to remove their citizenship ex post facto.  So the government was preserved, but this world will likely be plagued for a long time by effectively-immortal bacteria colonies that wander around taunting people with disgusting jokes and obnoxious braggadocio.  The scientist himself fled Artemisia and his prior honors were all expunged as a damnatio memoriae.

Taking an early upgrade slot rather than waiting for Linode to do scheduled maintenance at 5am.

OVALAU is tidally locked with its primary, with one hemisphere always facing the star.  Its ecosphere hence consists of a narrow band between the too-hot sunny side and the too-cold dark side.  Ovalauers are very resourceful in dealing with this constant climatological balancing act, but a history of dangerous epidemics has left scars on their collective psyche.  Whenever an outbreak (or even a rumor of one) occurs, everyone hurries away from the presumed-infected zone, clogging the congested paths along Ovalau's prime meridian.  Some even opt for a life-threatening journey across the uninhabited wastes, desperately seeking the antipodes of disease.  After an awkward interval waiting for the plague to dissipate, they all eventually go back home to what's left of the rest of their lives.

JERZY has an exceedingly dry climate, but high-tech weather control systems are able to make it rain in very localized areas with high efficiency.  The controller of these systems, who is indeed the Controller of the planet, is able to sell rainfall to the highest bidder.  A cartel of wealthy landowners keeps prices reasonable, however, by clandestine agreements as to who will win the bid and by how much.  Further complicating the efforts to collude are the numerous impoverished gangs willing to intimidate competitors for a very reasonable price.  Because water is so expensive, the members of these gangs rarely if ever bathe.  On Jerzy, dirty deeds are done dirt cheap.