I attended Barcamp Philly today.

"What the heck is a barcamp?" you cry. A barcamp is an unconference.

"What's an unconference?" you ask. An unconference is a DIY conference. People who want to speak show up bright and early, write their name and the title of their talk on an index card, and slap it up on a grid of times and conference rooms. The board fills up, aaaand... that's the conference! Attend whatever talks strike your fancy.

"Why's it called barcamp?" you inquire. Because O'Reilly Associates, the people who publish those technical books with the animals on the covers, sponsors an annual conference you're not invited to called foocamp. And programmers like variables named "foo" and "bar." (Plus: "Friends Of O'Reilly.") Thus the joke.

"Why foo and bar?" you persist. The generic term "foo" dates to the 1930s and was popularized by a Smokey Stover cartoon, according to Internet RFC 3092, "Etymology of Foo." It was likely derived from the Chinese character "Fu." During World War II, GIs popularized the phrase FUBAR (F****d Up Beyond All Recognition). Thus after the war it was natural to think of "bar" as what comes after "foo."

"What talks did you attend?" I went to "You Are Not the User" by Shawn Berven, who covered a table with diabetes test gear and then explained what it takes to design products that are right for actual people... people who are not you.

I went to "Come On... It's in the Requirements" by Sloan Miller and Abby Fretz, who discussed the concept of the HIPPPO... the HIghest Paid, most imPortant Person in the room... who is guaranteed to be ill-informed and have strong feelings about everything.

I went to "Urban Exploration," by phillystomp, who showed us what she found when she snuck into abandoned Philadelphia public schools.

I missed an awesome talk by an eight year old girl about how to use iMovie because I was giving a talk of my own.

I went to "Web 0.9," where Greg McGee told us about headspinny new toys like WebGL and WebRTC.

And I wrapped up my day with "Geek Theater," an improv experiment by Lauren Galanter and friends. This turned into a panel discussion between an eight-year-old boy, an angry Philly cyclist, and Neil deGrasse Tyson. Hilarity ensued.

"Hey wait up! Did you say you spoke today?" Why yes, I did. My talk was entitled "javascript games, a HOWTO: thanks, Obama!"

"Why 'thanks, Obama?'" Because my friend turned 40. My friend sells health insurance, and his career got going as Obamacare was gearing up. I happen to think Obamacare has helped millions of people. It's also been an administrative clusterf***, no question. That created opportunities for people like my friend. So for his birthday, I whipped up a video game in which he must intercept as many potential customers as possible without running into any Tea Partiers. Because that makes Obama sad, you see.

This morning, I realized the game was just a talk waiting to happen, so I made a few changes to respect his privacy and "Willy Loman Sells Obamacare" was born.

"Why JavaScript?" It's the language of the web browser. And lately, the webserver too, but that's off topic. Everything can browse the web at this point, and it's a very easy language to code in, so if you want to whip up a game in a hurry that's your ticket.

"So you spent 45 minutes explaining a simple video game?" Well yeah, because details matter. But it was also a trojan horse for my favorite geeky rant, "this" considered harmful, in which I tell JavaScript programmers to stop stuntin' and frontin' and doin' things that are hard and save their best energies for the actual problem they are trying to solve.

"So how was it?" Oh, it was a blast, straight up. I've attended barcamps before, but it's been a while since I spoke at one, and I'd forgotten how good they can be. I attended JSFest in San Francisco this year— which required I get on airplanes— and honestly I got just as much out of barcamp today in many ways. I just love the vibe. I like the technical stuff, but I think I like the nontechnical stuff even more. You should absolutely attend the next barcamp in your area.

Warning: I'm about to get verbose. At least verbose by most social media standards. You've been warned.

We're going to start doing a new thing at work. They're trying to reduce vehicle down time. One means to do this is to have people rotate through the different vehicles when people go on break. Person A moves into Van B when person B goes on break. When person B comes back from break they move into Van C and so on...

I'm reserving my judgement of the process for when we've had a chance to really try it out and work through things.

First

I headed up to Lebanon NH (where the office I'm based out of is located) and dropped off/disassembled the van that has been my home for the past year and a half. That was actually less emotional than you might expect.

Next

I bounced down/over to Oaklahoma City where I was picked up by a fellow driver. We were both a bit in the dark (as to the big picture plans and to each other's plans), so my flight into OKC could have been arranged a bit better. I drove him down to Dallas so he could catch a flight out on Monday, and then headed back up into OK to prep for work this week. I'm covering for him for a week while he's away on his break. Trying to keep vehicle down time reduced, remember?

Finally

I stopped in Atoka, Oklahoma and got a room for the night. This put me in the perfect spot to get started mapping right away the next morning (this morning). I won't bore you with details, but I couldn't start today and will start tomorrow. The good news is that this gave me today to walk around a little bit of Atoka. I prefer to walk once I'm stopped in a town. As Thomas was saying - you get so much more out of a town when you're walking than when you're driving through (he was talking about riding a bike, but the concept applies).

I'm staying in a 'not sexy but not gross' hotel. It's all but empty. Maybe a dozen cars in the lot late last night. Mid day, there are none but mine - looking a little lonely.

While I'm on the topic - the new vehicles that we're using for mapping? Sexy as hell. Back up camera. Digital displays with lots of technical data displayed in a comfortable fashion. Microsoft Sync. A very 'cockpit feel' to the driving space. Tight control of the vehicle and smooth exceleration. Brakes are tighter than I'm used to, but that too seems like a good thing when looked at together with the other elements of the vehicle.

I'm a fan of the newer Ford Escape.

I still haven't actually used it to map yet, but I suspect that won't be an issue.

Also - the wraps we have on the vehicle are far less... obnoxious. Still (as all wraps do) screams "LOOK AT ME!!!" - which I'm not a fan of - but not as bad as the old 'Ecto1' that I was driving around.

I walked up the street to the Wal-Mart. Mostly for something to do while stretching my legs. You can see how suave that experience was.

I did find it interesting though. There's a layout that used to exist for Wal-Marts that I had forgotten. I haven't seen this particular layout of any store for decades. That's multiple decades. That is, of course, how this place was laid out.

For the record - yes, I prefer to shop just about anywhere over Wal-Marts as a rule. Alas, there aren't many options in Atoka, Oklahoma. 

After stopping at the big W-M, I was feeling a bit peckish. So when I encountered this little gem, I couldn't resist. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce the Atoka Truck Stop Diner.

Hey - it's still a far cry better than Taco Bell which was my only other breakfast option at that point. Yeah. Let that sink in for a minute - Taco Bell serves breakfast. Oye.

In truth, it wasn't as bad as this pic makes it look. I had the breakfast burrito, and it was damn tasty. Coffee was decent too.

The thing I most enjoyed about the ATSD though was that it let me know just how deep into the South I was.

• CMT was playing on the tv. Not any of that newfangled pop-country neither. Good ol' fashioned stuff. Dolly Parton. Kenny Rogers. That era.
• There was a couple of old timers sitting together on the other side of the place. One was speaking loud enough for me to hear every word without trying. He was saying things like "I never did touch another drop o' tha booze. It makes yer suger jump up like whoah!" (Though you'll have to imagine the deep southern drawl.)
• And lastly - I swear to you I'm not making this up - my waitress was wearing camoflage. As if she was going hunting the minute she got done with her shift.

There's a tiny Choctaw casino next door to my hotel (you can the sign for it in that previous pic with the hotel) but I haven't stopped in yet. I might have to - just so I can play around or two and say that I did.

Mix all that with a lot of southern twang and lots of cowboy hats and the cattle on the opposite side of the road, and you'll have a pretty good idea of what it feels like to hold up in Atoka Oklahoma for a day.

So this happened...

And they are giving me the worst headache. I was hoping to get less headaches, now I've got the funhouse effects, too.* What gives, glasses-wearing people?

*These are for astigmatism in my left eye, not age-related presbyopia. I'm supposed to wear them all day, yay!

This is... a neutral/positive story about phone service in Canada, oddly enough. In September and October, I took two trips to the US. I used some of my "Fido Dollars" - which have been accumulating for years - $40 was going to be enough for 200MB of US data-plan and more than enough voice/text than I would need on those two trips.

The September bill arrived when we were in Asia, and the October bill just arrived, so I took a look at both of them. They were both MUCH larger than expected, and my Fido Dollars balance didn't go down.

Oh oh.

I took a deep breath and called Fido, expecting an argument or "there's nothing we can do." It was a surreal and positive experience- from when a human picked up within ONE MINUTE of me calling, to the fact that this human (Morgan) was cheerful and socially aware- starting with "how can I help you today?" "I need to talk to someone in billing, please." "That's me! What can I do for you?" And concluding with her giving me a credit which translated in the end to me paying $40 in real dollars for the extra charges, instead of $40 of Fido Dollars. The entire call was 21 minutes, including her talking with her supervisor for about 10 of those minutes.

So something got messed up, either I didn't manage to complete the online order or their systems lost it. They have no record, I have a text saying I have to confirm the online order using a code. I had a personal note that I'd turned it on. Whatever. I'd be happier if I could've used the Fido Dollars, which continue to accumulate. But I'm happy enough, and especially grateful that I don't need to stress about it longer than the hour just past since I first discovered the bills.

So, perhaps the morale of this story is not procrastinating on the likely-frustrating phone-call, which is what I do often enough. And reiterating that people (and soulless systems, including telecom companies) can sometimes favourably surprise one.

I've been writing since 3:45 AM. (I did also get my teeth cleaned, opened a checking account for Arden House Press and drove to Pendle Hill.)

All of the writing has been with Ulysses, and wow.

I don't know enough to recommend things to others, as a general rule.

I can say this, though, I've spent 100% of my writing time actually writing. No mouse, no navigating B.S., no style tinkering, no switching between documents, no saving, nothing.

I can't tell you how awesome that is. One thankful guy.

SHAVE ANOTHER DAY (2014) - James Bond (Ryan Gosling) pursues a hipster jewel thief through the streets of Red Hook, Brooklyn. When he finally catches up, the thief just hands him the jewels and says they "used to be cool." The Brooklyn scenes are credibly artisanal but Gosling's portrayal of "neckbond" is insufficiently ironic. B-

So I'm really stuck on this whole boat metaphor.  (Too much reality tv?  Below Deck Marathons... anyone?)

Beyond the boat in the storm, I've been reflecting on my crew.  Bear with me as I break down this cheesy metaphor.

The captain of any ship needs a first mate and a solid crew.  These are the people that will help you chart a smooth course and survive the inevitable storms.  They're looking out for your best interest along the journey.

Here's the catch-

The best people for the job may not be the ones you've assigned to this role.

Mind blown.  Truly.

At 37 years old, I'm just beginning to grasp this concept.  There are so many people in our lives that we keep on as crew members and even first mates, who are no longer suited for the job.

Maybe they are there out of habit, or a sense of obligation.  We often let family members and old friends fill these roles, regardless of their effectiveness or interest in the job.  I'm here to tell you, they are taking up valuable space.  

I'm starting to see that it's impossible to chart your journey without an excellent first mate and crew.  Ones that you have mindfully selected, not just allowed to exist.

Here's the other thing-

They are often not who you thought they would be.  Maybe your partner is not your first mate.  Maybe your sister is not a member of your crew.  That's ok.  

Let them go from the role that you've assumed for them.  Let them go from the role that others expect them to play in your life. That's the powerful part of this process.  Letting go of assumptions and expectations. I have found it to be very challenging and important work.

Once you can let go, there is room for you to select your first mate and crew. To put your time and energy into a network of loving and supportive people who give that energy and love right back.

So, today I made a list.  I wrote down the names of my first mate and crew.  The go to people in my life.  Without thinking about it, I simply listed the first names that came to mind.  People I depend on.  People who take me 'as is'.  

At first, it was an odd little list.  And it was a short list. Many of the usual suspects were missing. It felt strange not to list family members or even some of my oldest friends.

Then I saw the common thread.  Every single person on this list energizes me. They make me laugh. They are honest and open, while being kind and respectful of my journey. These people truly shelter me from the storm, no questions asked.  Just seeing their names in print was comforting. They are my crew.

In an infinite universe, all potential slash pairings are cannon.

#Homestuck

Today, I made the best grilled cheese sandwich I've ever experienced. I feel compelled to make a note of how I did it. (It always saddens me when I reflect on the fact that every time I'm really proud of something I cooked, it involves dairy and/or gluten, and so many of my friends have a hard time with one or both of those.)

2 slices Nature's Own Butterbread (we're off to a healthy start already!)

1 tablespoon of butter

1 slice of deli gouda

1 slice of pepper jack

1 ounce of fresh mozzarella, sliced thin enough that it makes a layer all its own

1 slice of muenster

2 thin slices of onion

1 medium slice of a gorgeous tomato that happened to be almost as big as the bread

Melt the butter over medium heat. Sauté the onion in the butter until glassy, and remove from butter (trying to leave as much butter in the pan as possible). Place the bread slices in the pan, and on top of them, the cheese (2 types of cheese on each slice of bread; I did gouda and pepper jack on one, mozzarella and muenster on the other, but I don't imagine it matters much), then the onion - one slice of onion on each side. My rings of onion fell apart, so I tried to spread them out a bit. Reduce the heat and leave it on the stove for a while, then put it under the broiler for a while. Put one slice on a plate, top with a tomato, and then put the other slice face down on top. Press down, let cool for a minute, and eat over a plate to catch the juice. If you're the kind of person who doesn't just stand over a plate in the kitchen wolfing down a sandwich without ever setting it down, you'll probably want a second plate to set the sandwich down on so you're not laying the toasted side of the bread down in the drippy juice.

I saw Interstellar last night and made three tweets about my experience.

• Interstellar was okay, except the score. Koyaanisqatsi had all the deafening pipe organ arpeggios anyone ever needed, this was inexcusable.
• Also Matthew McConaughey has seated himself on Marlon Brando's throne as Crown King of "Acting With Mouth Stuffed Full of Toilet Paper"
• That said, Anne Hathaway's performances were excellent, and the story was a bit hokey but very nicely paced. Go see it.

I got a response to my first post on Facebook (which gets copies of my tweets) from someone who complained that I always point out negative things, and then said that the science and visuals were awesome and they'd love to see it again, with earplugs. (I'm not quoting because that's probably rude.)

There's a lot I could unpack here that would probably be fairly tedious reading but I would like to make a couple points anyway.

I don't think there are any true spoilers here, but I do mention a couple of plot points in a very abstract way, and those two paragraphs are clearly identified below in point three.

First, I will complely own being a "complainer." Actually, that's just a side effect, when I'm feeling talkative. I absolutely am one of those people who is often profoundly disturbed by seemingly minor negative experiences. I actually feel this is a fairly useful skill in someone who designs things for a living. If I couldn't perceive the details about what was wrong with a situation or an object or an experience, how would I know when it was right or know how to fix it? So, yes, I can focus on negative things. This doesn't mean I don't experience good things. 

Second, for any form of professional endeavour, from an appliance to a restauraunt meal to a game to a movie, to there is a bar that one is expected to pass, and that bar is fails to suck. You don't get five stars if your product doesn't suck. You get two, maybe three. And in a triple A product, like a movie with a $168 million dollar price tag, I expect there to be no major and very few minor flaws. That's the price of admission: failing to suck.

And so when I have to strain to hear the dialogue because the lead actor is constantly mumbling (and it isn't relevant to the plot, like a story about someone overcoming a speech impediment), that violates my expectations for a triple A product, and I will call it out, because it sucks. Similarly, if the soundtrack for a movie is so intrusive that it repeatedly distracts me from the plot and visuals through sheer deafening volume and also renders essential if not critical dialogue sequences as basic exercises in lip-reading, I will call it out, because it sucks.

I consider "being able to understanding the dialogue" and "a relevant and complementary soundtrack" to be key components of a dramatic presentation. Interstellar failed on these fronts, and I said so.

Third, I don't consider scientific accuracy to be a key component of a dramatic presentation. A documentary, yes; I would expect it in a documentary. But not Interstellar. So though my interlocutor brandished that aspect of the movie as a positive, I can't accept it as more than a "nice to have". 

[ very mild spoilers next two paragraphs ]

And if one really wanted to dive into scientific accuracy, really the only accurate part of the movie was the visuals, which were not essential to the plot. When it came to plot beats, science was both used and abused willy-nilly. In general, it's a movie about the consequences about the time dialation aspects of general relativity, and I'm sure they did ran some equations that made the passage of time to be reasonably realistic.

However, they completely ignored other aspects of general relativity and astrophysics that, had they been considered, would have made the plot not work. In particular, the extreme redshifting of signals transmitted near a black hole would have mooted any justification for visiting the first planet, thus throwing entire plot in disarray.  Even worse, the vast amounts of high-energy radiation produced by matter falling into a black hole, especially a large one with a massive accretion disc, would instantly fry any humans or electronics that got anywhere nearby, which would basically have ended the movie right at the beginning of the second act. 

[ end spoilers ]

So they used some science to tell a story and ignored some other science to make that story work. I'm okay with that. It's called suspension of disbelief, and it's why I can enjoy a superhero movie. I don't poke holes in dramatic presentations for scientific inaccuracy, because science isn't why I'm there.

Fourth, I also said some nice things. I said the movie was "okay"; it passes the bar for AAA dramatic presentations: the acting was good, the cinematography was decent, the script was pleasant, the pacing appropriate, characterizations seemed on target, and the story engaging.

I also said that Anne Hathaway turned in some great acting; not just acceptable, but really worth watching.  I said the story was a bit hokey; its beats are just a bit too familiar to be really compelling, but not actually bad. And I said the pacing was very nice; it's a 3 hour flick, and it uses the "silences" between the words as effectively as the words themselves (I scare-quote silences beacuse the soundtrack rarely offered us any silence), and it didn't feel rushed or draggy.

And I said "go see it" which I stand by. It's worth seeing on the big screen with the understanding that you might be sticking your fingers in your ears one moment, and straining to hear Cooper's dialogue the next (and some times both), and if you do you'll enjoy a nicely paced if a bit hokey story with good acting all around as well as some inspired work from one of the next generation's best actors.

I would probably give it a somewhat resentful 4 stars on Netflix because I couldn't give it 3.5 and if I was using Ebert's star scale I'd give it ***.