Today was a rough day. Battery at <10%. ​

Vince gave me half a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice cream, and said, "You can finish this." 

Much like handing a kilo of heroin to Kurt Cobain. 

I felt guilty for making it disappear almost immediately. SCHHHLOOP! Gone.

Then I saw this: 

Hungry Girl Summer Freeze DIY Ice Cream Treats! 

Hungry Girl is some apologist for the processed-food industry. She has a blog that's supposed to offer lower-calorie versions of snacks and restaurant meals that people supposedly crave. They're lower in calories, sure, and lower in Weight Watchers points, okay, but they usually depend heavily on Cool Whip and/or mayonaise as ingredients. 

One 8-oz. container Cool Whip Free, thawed 
3 pieces Twizzlers Strawberry Twists, finely chopped
1 tbsp. mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 tbsp. chopped peanuts
14 Quaker Buttered Popcorn Rice Cakes (1 package)

Basically, this fits right in with what people were eating in Interstellar. It's mostly high fructose corn syrup, various hydrogenated oils, gums, and sodium caseinate. 

To make the filling, transfer Cool Whip to a medium-large bowl. Add chopped Twizzlers, chocolate chips, and chopped peanuts. Gently stir.
Set out 7 rice cakes, and evenly spoon filling over them, about a heaping 1/4 cup each.
Lightly place another rice cake over each filling-topped cake to form a sandwich, for a total of seven sandwiches.
Place in the freezer until filling is firm, at least 1 1/2 hours. (Use a few plates or a baking sheet, so the sandwiches are not stacked.) Eat up!

Yum-mo!  A mere 32 grams of carbohydrates per serving, and only 4 Weight Watchers Power Plus Points!

I no longer feel guilty for eating half a pint of Ben & Jerry's. I read the recipe to Vince, and it was so gross that reading it made me laugh until tears came out of my eyes. 

Good things:

• My son's eating, weight, and height have all moved in the right direction
• I have not yet failed at transforming from "only guy working on a project" to "guy in charge of multiple people working on multiple projects."
• I'm much better at running
• I did a bona fide chin-up for the first time in maybe a decade (although it still feels like cheating that the only way I could accomplish that was to lose 30 pounds)
• I learned to make pasta
• My biggest financial disaster of the year was losing $450 on the FSA account

Bad things:

• I still freak out that I'm doing the parenting thing all wrong
• I also still freak out that I'm doing the being in charge of people at work thing all wrong
• I wanted to finish the year with 200 miles run, but only made it to 180
• I made no progress at all on any project that wasn't directly related to work or my family
• I read only one book from cover to cover this year
  
• One of my dogs died
  

Goals for next year:

• Run to Rivendell
• Help my son learn to read
• Read at least two books from cover to cover
• Make something new

This could be the most artsy-fartsy photo I have ever taken. 

Ted Harris, with Shark Vagina and Septugenarian. A study in perspective. 

Also: 

There's a lot to be said for having a child you've met four times in the three years he's been alive spontaneously grab your hand as you walk through a crowded aquarium together, because you wanted to take him to see Real Live Sharks.​ It makes me feel like Glinda The Good. 

Was...

the year I became  a Master of Fine Arts

the year I learned what exhausted really means

tomorrow we're going to go see some sharks. 

Today I released a short story, "Dakrah's Familiar," on the Kindle bookstore. Obviously I hope you'll pick up a copy and enjoy it! But even more than that, I would love it if you would write reviews. ;)

Cover art by Dawn McLaughlin.

Finally a good enough inspiration to plop some words down here.

Neil Diamond. 

My mom was/is in love with the man. Enough that he was my first concert. And I've seen him live several times. That was a fact I tucked deep into my closet during adolescence and high school years. Then I grew up as a person and a musician enough to embrace the awesome. 

Because the man is. Absolutely awesome. His voice is like velvet on gravel, saturated with that impossible-to-train, sublime quality of pure music. And as a songwriter he's a fucking genius. 

Yesterday I was trawling the internet for deals and picked up his "All Greatest Hits" in digital format for $3. I'm sad to say until now my library has been woefully lacking in Neil. Mom has all the CDs. 

So, tonight, it's Forever In Blue Jeans, Sweet Caroline, Holly Holy (ooooh I actually didn't know that one, and it's... *fans self*), even Hello and Love on the Rocks. 

I recommend it. In headphones. 

But you know what's even more awesome? The man is in his 70s and still completely rockin' it. Embracing his own cheesy reputation with his latest video including puppies and sparkles. At the same time, he's active on twitter, and even did a really awesome AMA on reddit a month or so ago. 

Seriously. Neil fucking Diamond. Get it. 

This year for Christmas, we agreed to pool our funds and make a donation To Doctors Without Borders in support of Ebola relief, and keep personal gifts small and whimsical.

But, my brother did send me his old PS/3, as he just got a PS/4, and it's all new to me mann.

So despite my impeccable moral credentials, I suffer from the same "first person problem road rage" as the kids who got new PS/4s today... trying to make an account and swearing at the incompetent assclowns at Sony network operations. (Before you blame North Korea, consider that this happened last Christmas too...)

Fortunately I'll be departing soon to share holiday cheer with family, which ought to restore my True Christmas Spirit (atheist division).

I've rediscovered something: some years back, I practiced harder and got better than I remembered.

And at that point— let's call it "peak guitar—" I was almost-not-quite-really good enough to tackle something like this.

Not that it would stop me, because I was also cheerfully shameless about being crap at things. That comes with being new to something as simultaneously wonderful and difficult as dance.

But: I'm not that good anymore. I decided to major in salsa and that was it for the guitar for several years. I have a hill to climb again, in terms of guitar ability, and also in terms of regaining my shamelessness.

So I need to figure out when I can practice without terrorizing my household (*), practice really a lot, and then take another good look at this.

But if I find myself inspired to write a few new four-chord songs along the way, I will surely share them.

(*) We've figured out that guitars are played in the basement, before nine. Both of which are very reasonable expectations.

We have been enjoying some wonderful Hanukkah parties.  We're now at the bleary-eyed part of the year when life looks like:

Wrap gifts until 1 am.  Wake up at 6 am.  Get ready, drop off books at library, drop off gift for child in need at YMCA (4 year old who wanted Megablocks.  I love Megablocks - you can get a big set for very little money and kids can play with them for hours), get cup of coffee #2 on State St in Media, drive to Philly, work, shop for gifts for party tonight, work more, get food, host party, clean, wrap more, wake up tomorrow and go to work ...

We are blessed with wonderful family and friends and we are showered in gifts.  We are lucky.  We are also a bit sleepless right now and need more espresso ...