All frogs go to heaven Thomas Boutell 12/13 '14

The Pope says we will see our pets in heaven, and that heaven is open to "all of God's creatures." No word on what happens if the chicken you just ate gets to heaven first.

By the time you get there the chicken has 1,000,000 Heavenbook friends and they all make pious yet passive-aggressive comments on your profile all day. You start wishing you were on TheOtherPlacebook.

A choir of pigs, cows, chickens and turkeys follows you everywhere. Their singing is impeccable and the lyrics are devout, but there's no mistaking the message.

Heavenly fowl are particularly disturbing, with a halo and a second set of wings. It's impolite to complain.



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12/13 '14 1 Comment
Unless they are all very understanding? Of course you devoured me, that's the nature of things. Tell me I was delicious. Tell me you remember every bite. OK, that's terrifying too.

There is no way that animals-in-heaven is not absolutely terrifying, unless you are a lifelong vegan who never visited a zoo. Thanks, Pope Nightmare. Unless maybe that's what he was going for?
Chris Herdt