Or rather, hold me accountable. 

I need ideas for podcast sketches. Give me, in the comments: 

-an object 

-a character

-a catchphrase 

-a genre (ie., noir, sci-fi, romance, historical drama, Shakespeare, etc.). 

GO GIT EM, TIGER! 

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9/30 '14 7 Comments
deck of cards, janitor in a fortune teller's shop, "never let the blind man shuffle last", in the style of H Rider Haggard
Object: a riding mower
Character: Walmart greeter
Catchphrase: "Kiss my grits"
Genre: erotica
object: a magnet
character: a Dutch arborist
catchphrase: "titrate those nitrates!"
genre: urban fantasy
object: bunny ears
character: minor league baseball player
catchphrase: "some people REALLY know how to have a good time."
genre: romcom
A muffin. An ornamental horticulturist. "All the feels." One woman show.
You can lead a horticulture ...
object: the Hope Diamond
character: a down-on-his-luck puppeteer
catchphrase: "It's showtime, folks."
genre: horror
 

Years ago, when I was getting almost tolerable on the guitar, I threw down the gauntlet and asked for songwriting challenges. The result was the most interesting stuff I ever did, musically. And then I got distracted by dance. Which I do not regret in the least. But I'm ready to try music again.

So! Here's how this goes.

Please reply with:

An object ("a toaster")

A character ("a flying piano teacher")

A catchphrase ("that's GOTTA hurt")

A rock/pop musical subgenre ("emo punk," "new wave," etc - if you think it's obscure, just cite an example I have some hope of knowing or finding, links help)

... And I'll compose and record a song featuring these items. It may take me a while, but I will eventually get to an album's worth of requests.

BRING IT!


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9/30 '14 21 Comments
A lego brick, a karate student, "any side street", rockabilly
"Any side street" is probably an obscure catchphrase, but I use it a lot. It's from Bill Cosby's "200 MPH".
Trampoline, a translator, "Further up and further in", power pop.
AAA batteries, a cliff diver, "there's got to be a better way", Hootie-and-the-Blowfish-style frat rock
You said bring it.
Here it is.
Anita Sarkeesian, a misogynist, "not all men", math rock.
Anita Sarkeesian is the object?
Yes, I was just thinking I should clarify that. Thanks.
Wow, writing that in a non-asshole way that is still entertaining IS a challenge.
I would like to see the results of this one in particular. ;)
I'm also looking forward to the results of this challenge.
Object: a Rubik's Cube
Character: an extra in a Wes Anderson movie
Catchphrase: "And that's the end of that chapter."
Genre: Garage Rock
A glockenspiel, the majorette, "could it be love?" (Alternatively, "Oom pa pa, baby!")
Object: The Rosetta Stone
Character: Dunkin' Donuts employee
Catchphrase: She thought she'd seen everything
Oh - genre - prog rock. You know, like Tull and Joe Trainor.
Trailer park; neighbors; "it never ends". This sounds like it should be a country song, perhaps? Your choice.
Note to self: "desire is a random number"
Object: A vat of whipped cream
Character: Arnold Schwarzenegger from "Kindergarten Cop"
Catchphrase: "Tippecanoe and Tyler too"
Genre: Death metal
Pierogi, recently freed convict, "always room for one more," jangly Emo Britpop (ie., Smiths miserable lyrics plus happy guitar music)
I really like this challenge.
The Black Canyon of the Gunnison in Colorado
A Rock climber - who dislike bolts--a traditional or "clean" climber
"It's just you and the rock"
classic rock - late 60's or early 80's

Oh, that's going to be fun.
 

A successful life is not completely balanced. The great people push hard, they do interesting and unusual things. They follow their passion, they get excited. The term “balance” seems to me to be an industrial era term. And in that sense, I think we’re going against the political correctness of that term.

Eric Schmidt, please come to the nearest fuck-off-and-die-in-a-fire courtesy telephone.

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9/29 '14 3 Comments
Yeeeeeooouuccck.
One thing I like about him and people like him is that they don't try and mask their odious beliefs with mind-numbing rhetoric. They wear their rich assholatry like a badge. I respect that sort of plain dealing. Doesn't mean they shouldn't be up against the wall, but they should at least be given a chance to recant once there.
Hatchlings like Hannity and the Koch brothers and similar reptiles out of whose foetid mouthpieces drip syrupy lies and re-frames, they are far more evil in their insidiousness. No second chances for them, they'd say anything to save their skin, even just cash in their grandmothers for a last cigarette.
+7000 for "assholatry."
 
 

It is safe to assume it:
We will consume it.
The moon, the sea, the mountain. "Too soon,"
We'll cry, and sing a mournful tune,
And hold an observance, and soon resume.
Be good to each other in the time remaining.

It will do you no good to lament it.
In the time you strive to prevent it,
Disrupt, resent and reinvent it,
A new need emerges and brooks no dissent.
Be good to each other in the time remaining.

That's a bit dire. That's a bit strong.
The time remaining may be very long
As reckoned by Romans or roaches or cats.
We are clever creatures. As clever as rats.
But there are no guarantees, for all of that.
Be good to each other in the time remaining.

Eventually the stars will go.
The planets and the asteroids. Slow
Streamers of the solar wind blow
Outwards, carrying uranium
And other heavy elements to tantalize the cranium
Of our successors. Need I explain?
Be good to each other in the time remaining.

Don't cry for the sun, little one.
You will long since be cold and done,
Along with the idea of the idea of remorse.
And even irony will run its course.
Be good to each other in the time remaining.
Be good to each other in the time remaining.
Be good to each other in the time remaining.

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9/29 '14 5 Comments
I like this. Happy you-day.
I need to reply again to really drive home how much I really love this.
Really.
Really really.

Mind if I x-post it elsewhere, with proper attribution of course?
I am deeply moved by this. Thank you, sir.
Happy Birthday-- I'm happy to share a planet with you.
Goddamn!

As has been said before: "The future is uncertain, and the end is always near!"

What gives me hope is that the stuff Twain was writing about a century ago adequately explains (or uncannily describes) American culture and actions today: little has changed, yet we survive.
 

Like a dog going back to its vomit, i'm at the brink of accepting a contract at eBay, because i've been out of work too long (coming up on 4 months now). I'm trying to frame this correctly by just getting the necessary work done, and then using my time towards my own professional goals later.  I'll be working in the organization of a friend with whom i've worked previously, so i think that this will not be terrible.

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9/28 '14 1 Comment
Best wishes in your new/old sphere of operations.
 

I want to write a roundup of some of the anime series I've been watching this season, but I have a couple more episodes to watch first.  As prologue, though, a recap of my history with anime.

Like many enthusiasts around my age, my first exposure to anime was completely unwitting.  Speed RacerBattle of the Planets, and especially Star Blazers were cartoons that were just a bit different from the usual after-school fare, and in particular Star Blazers' continuing storyline set it apart.  (I was a little too young for Astro Boy, and a little too old for Robotech and Voltron.)  It was some years before I found out the reason behind that, though.

One of my college roommates was heavily into All Things Japanese, studying the language and owning shelves full of untranslated manga.  He introduced me to Miyazaki films and Bubblegum Crisis and Urusei Yatsura and other shows that would now be considered classics, but I didn't quite catch the bug at that time.  (He's pretty much gone native by now, living in Tokyo for many years, married with kids.)

A few years after that, I moved out to get married, and after a while learned that my wife was going downstairs to watch Sailor Moon in the mornings.  "Oh, well, if you're interested in that stuff, we should watch some of the real anime that Jim told me about," was my take, and I started renting shows from the Video Station in Boulder.  That was my doom.  I wound up finding the Denver Anime International club, many of whose alumni went on to start and run Nan Desu Kan, which just held its 18th convention.  (I run the Main Events room there and I'm the emcee.)  I've also wound up learning a good chunk of the language; I still wouldn't call myself fluent, but I can carry on halting conversations when the need arises, and I can pick up a lot of subtleties that aren't reflected in the subtitles as I'm watching.

So, yeah, I'm an anime geek, and my sons have wound up watching quite a bit with me as well.  This has been made much easier (for better or worse) in the last couple of years, since discovering Crunchyroll and the surprisingly large anime holdings on Hulu.  Feel free to chat me up about it if you like.

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9/28 '14 3 Comments
Sailor Moon is real stuff. :-( Although it occurs to me you mean the dubs, probably, so fair enough then. (As you know, I'm okay with dubs in principle, but those were quite bad.)
Yes, the broadcast dubs. And I'm watching the current Sailor Moon Crystal remake, so no disrespect intended. :)
As am I. :-)
 

Most people working in technology, especially the ones who write code, don't understand the underlying needs and use cases that drive their work. Under the guidance of an effective architect/manager, a few of those get it right despite their low level of communication skills.

I've worked in IT and related fields for a while, as have many of the people who call themselves my friends. I've seen and discussed a lot of getting it wrong and getting it right, and mentored a handful of folks along the way to improving their empathy, communication, execution, and humility. You don't do good work by acting like a bro. If you don't understand why someone's upset about an action of yours, you may have committed a bro behaviour -- even if you are not a bro. I myself am not entirely free of bro nature and sometimes err.

The development of this site so far has, from the multiple perspectives I can access through the miracle of conversation, been uneven with respect to listening to, understanding, and meeting the needs of anyone other than the principal developer. Fortunately, the skills that need to be developed can be learned by a person internally motivated to do so.

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9/27 '14 9 Comments
That's interesting, Dawn. In our exchanges, it's seemed very much the other way. You've been all "you MUST do exactly THIS now," and I've been all "I'd like to do that but I have to balance it with other concerns, let's think about it, hey how about this which actually accomplishes all or most of them."

Then I made a mistake, as people do when their websites are in beta, and you responded as if a faceless corporation had intentionally sold you into slavery. I apologized profusely and made changes; you reduced me to a nonperson, and then decided I'm a person but I'm a "bro."

How would you respond in my place?
<blockquote>you reduced me to a nonperson, and then decided I'm a person but I'm a "bro."</blockquote>
What information led you to the conclusion that I have categorized you as a nonperson and them a "bro"?
Go back and reread these exchanges of which you write and their context. Reread the post to which you're responding and identify your assumptions.
You have been making a lot of assumptions, Mister Thomas Boutell.
Oh yes, it would be a terrible thing if either of us made assumptions.
The tone and immediacy of your response indicates you are responding purely emotionally. Please, Thomas, take the time to look at the context and ask three questions:
Am I doing things right?
Am I doing the right things?
How do I know what is right?

There are people other than you in the world. Their opinions and experiences are different from your own, though similar in some ways.
Certainly. I ask you to do the same. From the start you've acted as if your concerns were the only concerns. You've denigrated the process of balancing them with other concerns as a need for more "hammers."

You continue to imply that my intent is dastardly, even though this whole dust-up began when I (wrongly, blunderingly) tried to help. That's the stumbling block for me. If you can't acknowledge my good intentions, I can't dialogue with you.
Go back further, to conversations involving multiple actors recommending changes to improve usability and your responses to everyone. Go back to the beginning and consider.

I wrote above about best practices in design and operational principles. Since the time you initiated a message to me rooted in your misinterpretation of your site's user interface, you have treated me, repeatedly and publicly, as though I am on some kind of personal vendetta against you.
Yes, in this particular thread I've been angry. There's a reason for that.

You rushed to judgment while beta testing a brand-new website. You responded to my ill-judged attempt to help you by telling people not to trust anything I do— "repeatedly and publicly," in you phrase.

So yep: angry now!

But prior to this thread, when did I imply you had a vendetta against me? All I can find are apologies and attempts to make the situation right.

Again, the problem of intent. If you really believe my intentions are not good, then I'd be wiser to just get back to work on improving the security of the site.
I did make several assumptions in reading this post. I missed the conciliatory tone and unpacked my anger instead regarding some of your earlier remarks. That was not helpful. I apologize.

I am a human being and undoubtedly "uneven" in my consideration of everyone's needs. I will endeavor to listen better.
 

Why didn't I know about this?


Of course now... Oh, god, why do I know about this?

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9/27 '14 3 Comments
Oh dear god I think this has pegged my cuil-meter.

My hamburger is crying, your argument is invalid.
My kid attends homestuck meetups and does cosplay. They outnumber costumed fans of conventionally marketed characters at cons which is really neat.
www.mspaintadventures.com

And damned be him that first cries, “Hold, enough!”
 

On my commute home today I saw a white Rolls Royce (not a common sight on the BQE, and eeeesh are new Rolls Royces TACKY LOOKING) with dark tinted windows.  The vanity plate read, "MR LOLLI" and was framed with a custom plate frame- "I'm Hiring".  I peered in the obscured window as I passed the car, but all I could see was sunlight glinting off of an enormous gold watch.

Looking for a job?  Follow the link below and you can thank me later.

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9/27 '14 5 Comments
Wow, indeed.
Oh... MY.

The site's actually well done and runs with the personality he's created for himself.

I can't judge him too harshly (uh, unless there's something I didn't read on that site that sez I oughta)... in real estate you gotta be a little outsized to succeed.
Oh he's outsized! I don't know anything about him, but clearly the publicity is working if I see his campy car and end up looking up his campy website. The brass balls were a nice touch.
What's it gonna be, kid?

Do you have what it takes to seize the brass... um...
I was just reading in his bio that at age 6 in the middle of Saks he promised his mother a white mansion and limo. I guess that explains the Rolls. I love the "put down a tarp" line.