This is Archer. He is a Bergamansco Shepherd. 

Yes, he is covered in dreadlocks, which protect his delicate skin. They swing like curtains when he runs and flop like cheerleader pompons when he frolics, which is often. If you get your fingers in between his dreads and give his skin skritchies, he will love you and love you. He is the sweetest boy. Or, one of them, anyway. It's really hard to get a picture of him because he runs around playing so much. 

I'm really struggling with an article I'm trying to write for work. 
Matthew presented me with some data he wanted me to use in an article about what podcasts do for your brain. The data has no citation or explanation of how it was gathered. The information simply said, "there's a famous study where people had to listen to the 'I Have a Dream' speech and the study found that when people listened to it, they were more engaged and remembered more details when they listened to audio only, rather than watching and listening to a video."
Again, nothing to back this up. Were the participants in an MRI machine? Did they self-report afterwards? Who did the study, and when? 
I've been beating myself up trying to find a reputable, consistent study that proves audio is more memorable than video. Turns out, it's not true. They're stored in different kinds of memory in different ways.  Citations available upon request. It took me over a week to get this info because I'm using Duck Duck Go. 

Last night, I was so frustrated that I made this video. It's about eight and a half seconds long. Watch this, then close your eyes, and ask yourself: 
What did I hear? (and, if the question applies, how many?)
​​​​​​​What did I see?  (and, if the question applies, how many?) 

Your answer will help me figure out this effing article and stop obsessing about this section of the article. 
​​​​​​​Further details as events warrant.

My dog is farting up a storm. 

Heavy clouds came through and a rain storm slid right past us. Instead, we got this: 

Nature is wild. 

Fans of new wave, HP Lovecraft and VH1 Behind The Music, Rejoice!

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Automatics 

my next project will be about bunnies. 

Symone met a cool new neighbor on our walk tonight. 

Today's snow was cartoonishly beautiful. It didn't stick to the roads but it stuck to the branches all morning. 

This message popped up in my LinkedIn inbox today. 

I wanted to reply, "Cal, are you a bot?" but then I figured out that this is another ad, so I answered my own question, basically. 

Maybe I should apply for the job and then train LLMs incorrectly. 
"Write a 100-word statement explaining who is Helen of Troy." 

"Helen of Troy was a dishwasher blunt can cord fluff pen rock green. Plastic grit curl stain metal arsenic magnet, case mask. Born in 1936 to Zikfosh and Derelere Statin, young Helen blue fork gay vase spray. Battery stick squeeze red, next cracking strange license plate. Hanging mod podge stretch clean. Over time, stretch frame dork star fluid lime box jellyfish." 

Or, better yet, 
"Find and correct the errors in this passage." 
okay. 
"Big Bird is a character from the television show Sesame Street. A 6' tall yellow bird, who embodies a child's curiosity about the world. Portrayed using a 6' tall full-body puppet, Carol Spinney played the role of Big Bird for over 25 years." 

here you go. 

"Big Bird is one of the residents of Sesame Street. He is a 6' tall yellow bird, one of New York's rare living cryptids. Big Bird sings carols and spins wool for 50 years at a time." 

I'm trying to read The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride. 
"In 1972, when workers in Pottstown, Pennsylvania, were digging the foundations for a new development, the last thing they expected to find was a skeleton at the bottom of a well. Who the skeleton was and how it got there were two of the long-held secrets kept by the residents of Chicken Hill, the dilapidated neighborhood where immigrant Jews and African Americans lived side by side and shared ambitions and sorrows. Chicken Hill was where Moshe and Chona Ludlow lived when Moshe integrated his theater and where Chona ran the Heaven & Earth Grocery Store. When the state came looking for a deaf boy to institutionalize him, it was Chona and Nate Timblin, the Black janitor at Moshe’s theater and the unofficial leader of the Black community on Chicken Hill, who worked together to keep the boy safe.

    As these characters’ stories overlap and deepen, it becomes clear how much the people who live on the margins of white, Christian America struggle and what they must do to survive. When the truth is finally revealed about what happened on Chicken Hill and the part the town’s white establishment played in it, McBride shows us that even in dark times, it is love and community—heaven and earth—that sustain us."

I say "trying" because there is So Much Going On in this book. The chapter I'm trying to read now describes a klezmer concert that takes place during a snowstorm. The narrative goes in a new direction every couple of pages, and each direction is its own intricately detailed story. 

The darkness. the gloom. the ennui. the brain clutter. I'm trying to rewrite the article about "grow your audience with surveys." I'm so bored I don't have a pulse rate.
I went into Ted's craft room. he was sitting in front of the computer, listening to Janet Jackson sing "Control." I wouldn't have thought he was a Janet Jackson fan, but hey. I shut the door. 
"Ted, I need you to do me a favor."

"what." 
"I need you to shake me by the shoulders as hard as possible and scream into my face as loudly as you can." 
"are you sure?"
"positive." 

he shook me by the shoulders and screamed at the top of my lungs until his face was red.  I sliced a finger across my throat, and he stopped, giggling wildly. 

"thank you." 

I'm gonna listen to Jethro Tull's RökFlöte now. Maybe that'll help. 

I was just writing an email to someone and closing it up with, "as always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions." some part of my brain said "that sounds like it was written by AI." 
and, of course, instantly, I had a wild urge to change it to:

"As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions, and that's no AI! 😃👍🌟"

Haaaaaaaaaa. 
I might put it in my email signature. 

To make a long story short: myNoise.net is a web or app based service that provides soundscapes that you can play with and adjust, for meditation, sleep, focus, ambience, or whatever need normal humans would have to live in a haunted house (don't you judge me). 

Just go play with it. Use headphones.