Have you ever had this thing like, when you've just taken a nice handful of something snacky, like potato chips, and tossed them in your face and started chowing down, that your body decides that NOW, right NOW would be the perfect time to have a gigantic coughing fit?

And you're standing there with a mouth full of food and you know exaaaaactl what your diaphragm is going to do in a very short period of time with no conscious control and think, "I don't want to die." 

And you have to judge, can I swallow all of this VERY quickly, or is there somewhere I can spit it out VERY quickly, before there begins this massive wheezing intake that would likely be extremely counterproductive to clearing your lungs, followed by a 100km/h explosive burst of air coming out with god knows what in it?

You ever had that?

Because, you know, that's one of those times when you realize you, your being, your self, is merely riding along in that meat space-ship in an purely *advisory* role. 

Hi, I'm your friend Sean, and sometimes I turn a sink full of partially chewed food into existential commentary.

[ ding ] please drive through.

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11/27 '17 10 Comments
YUP

Also thank you for making me laugh out loud.
This is all true.
Can't say that I have, but I gotta say that surprises me.
Hello, fellow passenger.
Yup!

And sometimes I think similar thoughts, such as, "We think we have freewill... but the bunghole is really the one that's in charge of *everything.*"
My life is good when I follow THE DIET and when I don't... OK SORRY BODY YES I'LL BE GOOD SORRY SORRY SORRY YOU'RE IN CHARGE
PS: IHNJ, IJLS “meat space-ship.”
"Hey kid, you ever fucked a skeleton? I mean without meat on it?"
BA HA HA HAHhaha!!!!