Earlier this week, my calf cramped as i was waking up and i couldn't get it to release while remaining in bed, so i got out of bed to stand on that foot and force it to relax.  Unfortunately, i declared victory too soon and it kicked back, tipping me to the side and knocking me on my ass, much to Kim's concern, but i was unhurt.  By this point, my adrenalin had kicked in hard and, after finally putting an end to the cramp, i was awake and sweating.  After that, i headed to the toilet and, as i finished up, i felt quite ill as i felt the adrenalin rush recede.  I staggered back to bed and lay there nauseous and shivering, breathing shallowly until the feeling passed.

Anyway, don't do drugs, kids, because the comedown is a doozy.

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Ooooouuuuucccchhhh.

Glad you’re okay.
Solidarity.
Ow ow ow ow ow!

My mom used to get raging leg cramps that would wake her up, and she'd be crying and screaming-- it was awful. Apparently I've inherited some of this from her, too. No fun.

Someone recommended some weird topical concoction made of apple cider vinegar, garlic, ginger, and something else. It screams "snake oil," right down to the Comic Sans on the label... but holy mother of crap, it reaaaalllly works.

I don't know how, and if it's the power of placebo I don't care-- the relief is real and takes maybe 60 seconds max. The bottle says you can dab it on with a washcloth or cotton ball, you can splash it on Jean Naté style, or you can even drink it (!). I put it in a spray bottle which is easiest IMHO.

Here's a link if you're interested. Caleb Treeze Organic Farms Stops Leg & Foot Cramps https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002TC661O

You will smell like a salad, but it really works.
SOLD plus one extra bottle for my mom.

Here’s an old wives’ tale that may be a useful data point. My mom’s friends apparently swear by taking a shot of warm water mixed with French’s Yellow Mustard, and no other brand will do. They claim that the turmeric and mustard powder prevents leg cramps.

I don’t believe it, but turmeric and black pepper might be helpful. YMMV, obviously.