some people shouldn't be trusted with paper
5/26 '17
What was your last name before you were married?
Lynch. No, Gray. No. I don't remember.
So... when you were a child, in school, what last name did you use?
I'm not sure.
I need this application for this document expedited it's an emergency I'm going to Jamaica on the 12th
(really? Because you need a liver transplant and the only place you can get it is at the world-renowned Montego Bay Hospital, under the care of Dr. Hurricane McRum? That IS an emergency!)
we can have it for you in five business days, on June 5th.
no that's not soon enough I'm going to Jamaica on the 12th it was a super cheap package I just had to have it
the 5th is before the 12th
they told me you had same-day service here
we have same-day service in Scranton
why does Scranton have same day service and you don't?
The population of Scranton is 75,281. The population of Philadelphia is 1.56 million. We get 200 applications a day.
but I can get same day service in Scranton
ok, here's your application.
*tsh* I can't go to Scranton
I guess you're not going to Jamaica either.
Tiny little African American lady, dressed all in bright red, needed help with her application today. I helped her while a crazy lady screamed and hollered expletives on her cell phone. Tons of F Bombs. When we finished, I reached my hand under the glass to her, and said something like "it's a noisy day." she squeezed mine, and said "bless you."
Y'know, if that one tiny African American lady was an asshole, your job would almost be easier in a way... if everyone sucks, you can just write off everything as "This whole thing sucks," and be done. But then you get these genuine, beautiful, human-connecty moments that show you a glimmer of magic and wonder in a sea of shitpoop, which means you can't just keep yourself completely sealed off 100% of the time. Damn those nice, good people!
But I swear to Frigg, if this earworm of "Montego Bay" doesn't die a painful but decisive death in the next hour...
(Completely unrelated: click here! You won't believe what happens next! One weird trick! #12 is golden! Do you like me Y/N? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXjVd0TeOX0 )