I'm no psychologist, but I think there are a few approaches- one being suppressing the feelings (which obviously isn't working if it's affecting your quality of life otherwise). I'm thinking maybe one approach would be some kind of calming, zen-like logical response, realizing that the anger isn't going to benefit you or the situation in a tangible way, might help minimize the anger without affecting your ability to feel more positive emotions?

It's so hard to change attitudes and responses- anger is such a natural reaction to so many things, but when the things are inescapable, the anger just builds on itself and hurts you instead which sucks.

It might be something to work on with a therapist, or you could maybe develop a sort of progressive way of trying to improve your natural reactions over time, giving yourself things to try when you're faced with situations that provoke anger.

I really don't know how to "love one's enemies", and have been known to say out loud that I "hate" members of sporting teams whom I have entirely no business hating. But I do think that "love your enemies" is a good idea, and it probably starts by empathizing as much as you can with their common flawed humanity.

Spider Robinson, for whom I will always hold space in my heart, has literary characters who consistently unpack their anger by figuring out what he claims is the other side of the anger coin: fear. So I don't know if that formula works in your case, asking, "What am I afraid of in this instance?" But I can say from experience that my fears are generally much easier than my angers for me to work with and soothe, and that often in the process of doing that I find that any associated anger dissipates.

Jenny says wise things.

I try to figure out what I can do, and what's enough. That's what I do, and then I'm done. Sometimes it's never enough, I know.