Last night we went out for dinner because we had cabin fever. We went to our favorite pub. It was mostly deserted. 

One table away from us were three people, a woman and two men. The woman and one of the men were a couple, and the other man was talking, very, very loudly, about how he would never even joke about wanting to sleep with her, because, of course, they're just friends. She was echoing the same sentiment back to him. He was talking about how even if he finds someone attractive, once they're married, he no longer finds them bangable, because the "no" switch flips and that's all there is to it.

It was totally a "methinks the lady doth protest too much" situation, because the guy was talking so loudly that it was like he was trying to make a very public declaration. It was like the very bad first act of a police procedural tv show, where, 24 hours later, the character that is me should go down and answer the doorbell to find two police detectives on the doorstep, holding a photograph of the woman and her husband, asking if I had seen the two of them lately.

When the noisy guy left, they said to him, "it was nice meeting you." I thought holy shit, it's your first time meeting these people, and you're having the "of course I'd never want to sleep with you" conversation?