Blues: fearless beings with a magical sense of connection, just screwing around.

Fusion: blues dancing to electronica. Sshh, don't tell them.

Salsa: really pretty math.

Salsa rueda: really pretty partial differential equations.

Bachata: who decides if it's gonna be sexy? Not you, fella.

Cha cha: has nothing to do with Nicole Kidman.

Swing: would you like to dance jitterbug, lindy hop, balboa, charleston or west coast? Oh sorry, I'm a southgoing zax.

Waltz: surprisingly sexy seventy-year-olds in the suburbs. Do try to keep up.

Tango: anger management.

Foxtrot: a thing? I guess? The longer you've been social dancing, the less memory you have of your three foxtrot lessons at that ballroom studio ten years ago.