My brain hates me. 1/21 '19
Eyes open, grab phone, check the time. It's 4:30am. Why am I awake?
Brain: "Hey, buddy. I see that you're up. What'ya say we review every mistake and social gaffe you've ever made in your life?"
Me: "What? No. No, I don't want to do that. Not now, not ever."
Brain: "Hey, remember back on the first day of school when you followed all the girls into the girls room? Ha! Good times, good times."
Me: "I said I didn't want to do this!"
Brain: "And then there was that time in third grade when on class field day you were watching the turtle race with the whole class, you put your head down on the ground for an eye level view of the turtles and the teacher must have thought you were trying to look up the girl's skirts. She hauled you to your feet and slapped you across the face."
Me: "People think I drink to dull the pain. When actually I drink because I'm trying to kill you."
There's a song by Barenaked Ladies called "Everything Old is New Again" and it has a line about laying in bed and "let[ting] all my nightmares repeat." Yup.
Why do our brains do this?!?
Or because we associate social gaffes for actual blunders.
Or because we don't forgive ourselves for mistakes.
Ok, getting off this thread because I'm getting pissed off again thinking about it.
You know, as I kid, my role model was Spock. I never liked the feels. I'm somewhat better now.
But yeah, finding a way to live with unresolvable conflicts from the past can be a struggle.
#betterlivingthroughchemistry
I kid. Mostly.
(When I get caught in a death spiral and absolutely positively no-way no-how can shut my damn brain off, xanax is a magical rescue. As much as I joke about it, I don't take it often and I have a very healthy respect for it.)