Another introspection oversharing post.

I'm in a mood. A worn, tired, drawn mood. Maybe even a funk.

I've been retired not quite a year. I've explored and partied. I have been raising my kid. I've made a friend or two, and a whole lot of new acquaintances. I would have thought my house would be cleaner. I would have thought my yard would be a showpiece of stellar landscaping. Apparently a clean house and a fine yard are not of enough interest that I actually achieve them.

I'm bored. This life of careening from party to party, grounded in between with raising a spirited kindergartener is grand. Enviable even. But I need something more. My party schedule for the next 6 weeks is a Iberican Sound DJ show in DC, a Mad Max theme ball outside Los Angeles, a Bowie ball in Raleigh, NC. A luxury hotel art something something in Norfolk. Yes, I'm bragging a bit. This part of life is good.

On Monday I texted my brother, who lives outside of DC. And said "Let's have dinner tomorrow!" I also texted my cousin and said "Let's have drinks tomorrow!" I texted a friend as I got in the car Tuesday and said "Let's have a wine!".  I drove the 2 hrs to DC. My brother then canceled on me - he had developed the flu. 

As I get to the friend's house outside DC with 2 bottles of wine, there is a school bus parked in the driveway. And 11 beautiful people get out, just back from a roadtrip to Miami. It was oddly a 60 degree February day, so we sat on the patio with a revolving door of beautiful people and drank our wine. There was also Korean food. And then my cousin showed up and we went to dinner at the brewery. And I get back to my place outside DC and my landlord & a friend are there drinking beers. We watch Sita Sings the Blues. I sleep at midnight. What a lovely Tuesday I think to myself - the type of Tuesday I could never have had if I wasn't retired.

Then Wednesday was a similar day of family & friends, ending with me driving home after BBQ and hanging by a firepit. I stop at a local watering hole as I roll into my hometown. And have a wine or two, then it was 1AM. A lovely Wednesday I would not have had, if I wasn't retired.

So I'm in a funk. I get the blahs after great social interactions as a matter of course - part of my introverted brain being out of happy. Plus the slight hangover doesn't help. And it's a full moon besides. And I'm bored.

One reason I wanted to dine with my brother because I'm thinking about solving my boredom by buying a 230year old mansion. It needs someone to love it. I would make no money at it (though I likely wouldn't lose much money either.) It is huge, and needs a lot of renovating/restoration. A challenge of proportions that seem to leave the men in my life shaking their heads and thinking I'm crazy. The women in my life, on the other hand, are encouraging and think I should go for it. I wanted to talk to my brother because we have similar money sense. But alas, he had the flu.

In years past, I used to get into these funks and attributed them to stresses of my job. Or I'd think the funk was due to a disappointing romantic entanglement. Or a lack thereof. Now I know it’s just me. I get into funks. Even if life is perfect.

I have a blissfully unplanned weekend of being Mama looking me in the face. I can go back to being bored on Monday.