Things are, largely good.  Professionally I am finally in a place where "The Colleagues" don't dis me from the start, continuously and condescendingly.  They don't expect me to do all the work they don't want to do.  They don't expect me to clean up after them, in any sense of the word and they listen and consider what I've said if I'm impelled to speak up.  I am contributing in ways I can see are helpful and ways that nobody else does.

It may be Ironic that this respected and included situation is actually taking advantage of something women are more socialized to enact - I am cleaning up some stuff, making some computer housekeeping  happen.  The fact that I'm still new to the team means I haven't got a lot of entrenched projects or responsibilities, and that helps me look up from the ticket queue and notice things that ought not be - like a situation with customer expectations crashing into what one of the colleagues (the lower case, external contract colleagues) did and communicated.  (A variant of the "we're not gonna do that for you" "oh, ok I'll do it myself and break all your crap," scenario.) I can see structural problems everyone else accepts, because I'm "not from there."

At my old job this kind of thing earned me nothing good.  I had some very good ideas there that were never acted on, until someone else "magically" came up with this really great thing we could do that we'd somehow "never thought of."

This is a huge deal for me, professionally, from a confidence perspective and emotionally.  I am not drained and depressed after work every day.  Sometimes I can't wait to get up and go back because I Got Stuff To Do.  I never dread interacting with The Colleagues.  I think I have heard one possibly insensitive comment since I started - a complaint that the aspect ratio of our "signature graphic" for presentations is wrong, and makes the lady in it look short and frumpy.  You know, like me.  I gave a little jab back about us short women not winning and we all had a laugh.

It's pretty great.