Two kids in spring soccer. I think that's the tipping point. I've hit that point where I can't keep all the balls in the air. (Insert ball joke here.)
I'm screwing up royally lately. I pride myself on keeping organized and controlled and being on time and getting things done and yet, for some reason, this week I have lost all ability to do so.
We have been late to multiple appointments, I forgot to bring soccer game snack for the whole team, we were late again, had no uniform, almost ran out of gas. Michael's snack bin is empty. I forgot to call the school counselor, I've made commitments to so many people, I can't remember who I've made the commitments to, let alone what they were. 
And Davis has entered the tween phase and I can't understand his reasoning and he finds me idiotic. And Samuel refuses to practice guitar and we are at a stonewall. The boys have spring fever too. They just want to play and do their activities and not study or practice or help. And I've already taken away lego privileges and kindle privileges and I'm running out of consequences I'm willing to implement.
There are so many different spring activities out in the world that we all want to do! Classes for the kids and camps and festivals and shows. I want to let both kids play soccer and do cub scouts and do music lessons and do coding and take skateboarding lessons, and tinker in the garage and Oh! Davis wants/needs to learn to type, he says all the other public school kids learned years ago, but he doesn't want to learn, he just wants to know, can I fit that in please? I want to sing in the church choir and take the UU leadership training, and learn a foreign language and be a CASA and volunteer in the schools and make time for all my friends and be a good listener and be available any time anyone needs me and be outside and picnic and cook some amazing recipes and do all the festivals and travel everywhere, and swim laps, and go to yoga, and, and, and. There's not enough time and money in the world to do all the amazing things that are out there. And even if I managed to pay for them and schedule them, I couldn't remember when and where and how I planned to do them.
I just want to do fun things and not be in charge of making it all happen. I don't want to help my kids be good citizens of the world. I don't want to remember Michael's work/sleep schedule and work around it. I don't want to enforce rules or any schedules. I want to lie around outside in the green grass, smell the purple flowers, bask in sunlight and drink wine and play with my friends. I have spring fever bad and I'm not sure I want the antidote.