I have a vaccination appointment for Friday. I felt sick when I got it. Like I was cheating or cutting in line. Pushing my luck. Stealing. 

But I have my appointment. I have it not only because I have fast reliable internet, and a fast reliable computer, but because when the appointment flashed, I could click "yes" before bothering to read the details of where or when, without worrying about how I'd travel to the appointment (although, frankly, our car could die at any moment) or whether I could take the time off from work. I am completely able to accept a random Walgreen location within the city limits at whatever time and date they throw at me.

I can tell my boss I won't be at work at that time (even if there's a meeting) without fear of losing my job or being docked pay. I can drive my own car (hopefully still running! and in reality, spouse will drive) or pay for the cab or Lyft without thinking twice.  It's 2.5 miles away--I could ride my bike or even walk. Or even take the bus (though I would not want to get on the CTA or in a cab right now)

I know that if I had hesitated or had to consider those things before clicking yes, I would have lost the appointment. 

Spouse does not have an appointment, so life won't change much. My parents are both vaccinated now, so in a little over six weeks (two weeks past the second dose), I can ride the commuter train out to see them. When Spouse mentioned that to me, I sobbed. 

Still I feel I'm tempting fate.